She says it better, anyway
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Sunday, February 26, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
In all reality I am an idiot
I’m not really trying to disparage myself. I’ve put that title up there for a reason.
It’s 5P on Friday. I still haven’t heard from Smitty. Am I disappointed? Not really. I had a feeling he’d be a no show, so somewhere in the back of my mind I was expecting it. I decided not to email him and ask him what’s going on because I really don’t care. And I don’t want to put myself in the position of caring. Right now there is no man that I’m caring about in my life and I actually feel free to focus on things that are making me happy.
I was going to go to Canada (Windsor) this weekend to have lunch at one of the swanky restaurants in the Casino, but I ran out of money, so I nixed that plan. I guess I’ll just go to the gym after volunteering and then go home. I may go and see Brokeback in East Lansing on Sunday. We’ll see.
I’m behaving surprisingly well with THM. Anyone who knows me intimately knows I’m a sucker for instant gratification. Once I meet a man I want to sleep with him, go steady, and think about how he’ll fit into my projected 5 year life structure. I get too involved with a guy too fast, and that’s the reason my longest relationship has been three months. But with THM I’m totally cool. It’s all about the sex and not about the relating. And I’m so content. He was out of town last weekend and is planning on being out of town this weekend. I wasn’t going to send him a text until next Wednesday. Well he beat me to the punch. He sent me a text last night and we went back and forth for a while and he made plans to give me a call when he gets back in town. Cool. At this point I have absolutely no feelings for him. I’ve told myself that he’s an introverted artist who’s very spacey (he acts like he’s high most of the time even though I know he’s not) and who’s too caught up in his own world to care if he accidentally (or intentionally) hurt another person (emotionally). But the sex is amazing, his skin is soft, and he’s good company so I’ve decided to keep him around. With no strings attached. Congratulations, THM. You’ve just been added to Kiki’s roster.
It’s 5P on Friday. I still haven’t heard from Smitty. Am I disappointed? Not really. I had a feeling he’d be a no show, so somewhere in the back of my mind I was expecting it. I decided not to email him and ask him what’s going on because I really don’t care. And I don’t want to put myself in the position of caring. Right now there is no man that I’m caring about in my life and I actually feel free to focus on things that are making me happy.
I was going to go to Canada (Windsor) this weekend to have lunch at one of the swanky restaurants in the Casino, but I ran out of money, so I nixed that plan. I guess I’ll just go to the gym after volunteering and then go home. I may go and see Brokeback in East Lansing on Sunday. We’ll see.
I’m behaving surprisingly well with THM. Anyone who knows me intimately knows I’m a sucker for instant gratification. Once I meet a man I want to sleep with him, go steady, and think about how he’ll fit into my projected 5 year life structure. I get too involved with a guy too fast, and that’s the reason my longest relationship has been three months. But with THM I’m totally cool. It’s all about the sex and not about the relating. And I’m so content. He was out of town last weekend and is planning on being out of town this weekend. I wasn’t going to send him a text until next Wednesday. Well he beat me to the punch. He sent me a text last night and we went back and forth for a while and he made plans to give me a call when he gets back in town. Cool. At this point I have absolutely no feelings for him. I’ve told myself that he’s an introverted artist who’s very spacey (he acts like he’s high most of the time even though I know he’s not) and who’s too caught up in his own world to care if he accidentally (or intentionally) hurt another person (emotionally). But the sex is amazing, his skin is soft, and he’s good company so I’ve decided to keep him around. With no strings attached. Congratulations, THM. You’ve just been added to Kiki’s roster.
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I've bitten off more than I can chew
The basis of Smitty and my relationship since we broke up has always been playful. He'll write me short little emails that let me know he's thinking of me, but like when we were dating, he's not serious. He emails me about once a month, teasing me. These emails used to make my heart flutter. Smitty is the only boy that I have really really liked, and when I'd hear from him, it would stir up all kinds of feelings. Fortunately, I've grown up a ton. I don't feel that tingle when I get emails from him anymore. I just treat it as friendly banter.
I like to keep my past conquests in a box and take them out whenever I please. I call The Serbian, Hot Bod, ADD Tim whenever I'm in town to see if they're willing to take me to lunch or buy me a drink or do, well, other things. That hasn't been the case with Smitty. Smitty is a noncommital workaholic. I'd have a better chance pinning down a rabid monkey than I'd have getting Smitty to commit to anything.
So I emailed Smitty yesterday telling him that I'll be in Detroit every weekend until after tax season for my volunteer work. "Although, when I do agree to get together with you, you always seem to mysteriously disappear. So, let me know when your balls drop and you decide to actually take me up on that drink." His response, "Ouch. Taking shots about not meeting for shots. Wow. If you'd like to meander north after your Saturday volunteer work we can meet for dinner and drinks. At that point in time we'll find out if you can get my balls to drop."
This is the first time I've actually gotten a pretty positive response from him about a meeting. A part of me is scared. I haven't worked out, my hair is a mess. I want to look absolutely fabulous to wow Smitty. A part of me wants to bail. I guess I'm scared that even tho this is the closest we've come to making actual plans, I have a feeling that he's going to bail on me. And that will make me feel like an idiot. Oh well, THM will be back in town in a few weeks. I can always put him back on first string on my roster.
I like to keep my past conquests in a box and take them out whenever I please. I call The Serbian, Hot Bod, ADD Tim whenever I'm in town to see if they're willing to take me to lunch or buy me a drink or do, well, other things. That hasn't been the case with Smitty. Smitty is a noncommital workaholic. I'd have a better chance pinning down a rabid monkey than I'd have getting Smitty to commit to anything.
So I emailed Smitty yesterday telling him that I'll be in Detroit every weekend until after tax season for my volunteer work. "Although, when I do agree to get together with you, you always seem to mysteriously disappear. So, let me know when your balls drop and you decide to actually take me up on that drink." His response, "Ouch. Taking shots about not meeting for shots. Wow. If you'd like to meander north after your Saturday volunteer work we can meet for dinner and drinks. At that point in time we'll find out if you can get my balls to drop."
This is the first time I've actually gotten a pretty positive response from him about a meeting. A part of me is scared. I haven't worked out, my hair is a mess. I want to look absolutely fabulous to wow Smitty. A part of me wants to bail. I guess I'm scared that even tho this is the closest we've come to making actual plans, I have a feeling that he's going to bail on me. And that will make me feel like an idiot. Oh well, THM will be back in town in a few weeks. I can always put him back on first string on my roster.
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Special Election
So today was a special election in Lansing. I wasn’t aware of this until I watched the news this morning before getting ready for work. I narrowed my choice down to two candidates: The pretty one and the tranny. I bet you can’t guess who I voted for.
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I miss my friends
I’m glad I left Texas to go to college. Because when I left Texas to go to Indiana, I was able to meet people from all over the country and all over the world. I met folks from Minnesota, Wyoming, Massachusetts, South America, even a place called Palau. And now that I’m stuck in Michigan, I know that I can visit those people wherever they are in the world. And that makes me happy.
Three weekends ago I was too intoxicated to apply my makeup to go out for the evening. I miss my friends.
Three weekends ago I was too intoxicated to apply my makeup to go out for the evening. I miss my friends.
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Sunday, February 19, 2006
Jebediah
I just got off the phone with Jebediah. That's what Kipper and I decided to name him. He's the 40+ y/o man who's looking for a virgin to marry. He doesn't think women should wear makeup. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't drink. His brother lives down the street from him. Yep. We're gonna get along REAL well.
Anyway, I emailed him 100 years ago and let him know that I was going to call him. I waited till a very awkward time on Sunday night to give him a ring.
And how was the conversation? Trying. It lasted 26 minutes and the only way I got through it was to watch America's Ballroom Challenge on PBS. And what did we talk about? Well first I asked him if he was out of breath. He sounded very out of breath on the phone. I was taking this as a sign that he was a fatty. He told me that he wasn't out of breath, but in fact he participated in many sports such as running, biking, and light weightlifting. I'm not convinced. I on the other hand told him that physical fitness is the most important thing to me. I work out constantly and I perfer heavy weightlifting to the 'light' weightlifting. Of course, he didn't know how to respond. When he asked me if I smile a lot, I told him that smiling causes wrinkles. He laughed. I didn't. It's fun to make peopel uncomforatble!
We (well really, he) talked a little more about working out. He asked me where I got inspired to work out. I told him it was because of my father. Daddy Kiki used to tell me as a child that no man would love me if I was fat. This, of course, isn't entirely true. But it's a fun story to tell nevertheless. Of course, Jebediah was a little taken aback. He then asked how my relationship was with my father. I told him that Daddy Kiki is the best. Then quickly added that I don't talk about my family. He thought I was being defensive. I told him I wasn't. I just don't talk about my family.
We ended when I told him Daddy Kiki just buzzed in on the other line (this was a lie). I told him that I would have to call Daddy Kiki back soon, and he should call me later. He asked what time. I told him another day.
So, it seems that bitter Kiki came out tonight, but I have a feeling I have him hooked. He actually thought we had something in common, and I think I'm a bit intriguing to him. This project to break his spirit might not be as hard as I thought!
Anyway, I emailed him 100 years ago and let him know that I was going to call him. I waited till a very awkward time on Sunday night to give him a ring.
And how was the conversation? Trying. It lasted 26 minutes and the only way I got through it was to watch America's Ballroom Challenge on PBS. And what did we talk about? Well first I asked him if he was out of breath. He sounded very out of breath on the phone. I was taking this as a sign that he was a fatty. He told me that he wasn't out of breath, but in fact he participated in many sports such as running, biking, and light weightlifting. I'm not convinced. I on the other hand told him that physical fitness is the most important thing to me. I work out constantly and I perfer heavy weightlifting to the 'light' weightlifting. Of course, he didn't know how to respond. When he asked me if I smile a lot, I told him that smiling causes wrinkles. He laughed. I didn't. It's fun to make peopel uncomforatble!
We (well really, he) talked a little more about working out. He asked me where I got inspired to work out. I told him it was because of my father. Daddy Kiki used to tell me as a child that no man would love me if I was fat. This, of course, isn't entirely true. But it's a fun story to tell nevertheless. Of course, Jebediah was a little taken aback. He then asked how my relationship was with my father. I told him that Daddy Kiki is the best. Then quickly added that I don't talk about my family. He thought I was being defensive. I told him I wasn't. I just don't talk about my family.
We ended when I told him Daddy Kiki just buzzed in on the other line (this was a lie). I told him that I would have to call Daddy Kiki back soon, and he should call me later. He asked what time. I told him another day.
So, it seems that bitter Kiki came out tonight, but I have a feeling I have him hooked. He actually thought we had something in common, and I think I'm a bit intriguing to him. This project to break his spirit might not be as hard as I thought!
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The Bread Store
I shop at the bread store in town. I call it the bread store. Actually it's the discount bread store where you can get a loaf of bread for $0.89. Anyway, I wore my Notre Dame hat into the market and paid for my purchase (a whole $2.00!) when the clerk looked at my hat and asked me if I went to ND. I told her I did. She asked me what I studied and I told her. She asked me, "what's that?" Well, seeing that I didn't study rocket science, I was sure that most people had heard of Political Science. I broke it down for her and told her, "it's like government." I saw that she was wearing a University of Michigan sweatshirt and I asked her if she was in school and if she liked it. She said that she hated school. (and I later figured out that she was in high school and not college) I told her that she should put more effort in school. Becuase school allows you to get a better job, and in turn make more money, and in turn buy shiny things. She gave me a confused look. I should have just told her that school will allow her to finally quit her job at the bread store.
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Saturday, February 18, 2006
Google Has A Hit Out on Me!
Today was the first day of Tax Prep in Detroit. I have to say that I was excited. For some reason I woke up at 6:30A, showered, and made the 2 hour drive to MexicanTown to do some tax prep. Trouble is, Google wanted me dead! The instructions they gave me were really cryptic. At one point I went down a deserted street where I could tell a car had been broken into not too earlier than when I drove down that same street. Usually I travel with such hits as Mariah, Kylie, and Whitney. When I witnessed the broken glass in the street, I immediately turned on Where The Hood At. Hey, I wanted to look like I actually belonged in the neighborhood I was in.
The tax prep went really well. I only had one client and I'm actually sitting here blogging because I have some time before the next person shows up. I was proud of myself. I got to practice some of my spanish and I was happy that I was able to get a woman a tax return. Sure, her return was over $1000.00. but when you think about the income that her family lives on for an entire year, $1000.00 really isn't that much.
I just got back from the bathroom. I know. That detail was worth it. I kinda knew that the neighborhood that I'm in is a bit suspect, but while upstairs wandering around for the bathroom, the front desk clerk let this guy in. I didn't mean to stare, but the kid looked bad. He was clutching his arm, was bent over, and upon closer examination, I saw that his lip was puffy and a bit bloody. This kid just had the shit kicked out of him. I've been in a few fights before when I was a kid, but I have never kicked anyones ass nor have I had my ass kicked. I was able to witness first hand what it looks like to get your ass kicked. I didn't talk to the kid beacause it wasn't any of my business, but no matter what happened to him, at least he was smart enough to seek scantuary at the chruch. Seeing that kid made me more sure that I never want to get in a fight. No matter how glorious it looks, if you're the one who comes out on bottom, that whole situation seems mighty scary!
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Friday, February 17, 2006
Some Housekeeping
1) Thanks to the coolness that is The Pink Shoe, I was able to receive another blog add! Well, I'm not up yet, but Diva Las Vegas said she would link me because she thought I was hilarious. So, I've added her on the right to return the favor. I think The Pink Shoe is secretly like the GodMother of the Internet Mafia. Good things happen when she mentions you!
2) Apparently some of you (Roomie) have left comments that I have not approved. I don't know why this was happening, but I seem to have fixed the problem.
3) Did I tell you about the printer I bought for $5.99 yesterday? I was looking for a printer so I
could print out the tax returns for the folks I'm doing tax prep for on the weekends. I went to ABC Warehouse (cause if you're cute and you smile pretty, you can get the sales guys to knock off like $20 off your purchase. That's how I got my CD system in college. I got a 5 Disc RCA System for less than $50!) to look for my printer. I ended up almost buying one for $49 until I saw this baby sitting by itself on a shelf with no box. Turns out it was the floor model. There was no ink and it had a minor scratch, but other than that, it worked perfectly! It is a bit large to keep toting to Detroit every weekend, but I figure I can use it for The Dungeon once the tax season is over.
4) While at Best Buy this afternoon picking up ink for my new printer (the ink cost more than the printer itself!) I picked up the debut CD from The Veronicas. I've been listening to them free on AOL.com Music and I really liked them. I thought I needed some good empowering female music this weekend. Or else I'm a big lez. No. That can't be it. Based upon my past few weekends with THM, I can CERTIFY that I am not a lez!
2) Apparently some of you (Roomie) have left comments that I have not approved. I don't know why this was happening, but I seem to have fixed the problem.
3) Did I tell you about the printer I bought for $5.99 yesterday? I was looking for a printer so I
could print out the tax returns for the folks I'm doing tax prep for on the weekends. I went to ABC Warehouse (cause if you're cute and you smile pretty, you can get the sales guys to knock off like $20 off your purchase. That's how I got my CD system in college. I got a 5 Disc RCA System for less than $50!) to look for my printer. I ended up almost buying one for $49 until I saw this baby sitting by itself on a shelf with no box. Turns out it was the floor model. There was no ink and it had a minor scratch, but other than that, it worked perfectly! It is a bit large to keep toting to Detroit every weekend, but I figure I can use it for The Dungeon once the tax season is over.4) While at Best Buy this afternoon picking up ink for my new printer (the ink cost more than the printer itself!) I picked up the debut CD from The Veronicas. I've been listening to them free on AOL.com Music and I really liked them. I thought I needed some good empowering female music this weekend. Or else I'm a big lez. No. That can't be it. Based upon my past few weekends with THM, I can CERTIFY that I am not a lez!
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Thursday, February 16, 2006
Snow Day!
First up, thanks bunches to The Pink Shoe for this post. I feel honored that a blog that's worth $11,855.34 is willing to give me a mention. Thanks bunches!
Second, although it was icky and snowy today, I took this picture this morning. It is pretty!
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I Too Wish I Knew How To Quit You, Johnny Weir
Before I loved gay men, I loved figure skating. Actually, I remember having a huge crush on the only other black (male) figure skater at my club as a young Kiki. So I guess my love of gay men and my love of figure skating go hand in hand.
That said, please enjoy this post from Gawker and the accompanying video. It's why I heart Johnny Weir! I hope he does well tonight!
That said, please enjoy this post from Gawker and the accompanying video. It's why I heart Johnny Weir! I hope he does well tonight!
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Wednesday, February 15, 2006
I’ve attracted another crazy
I’m totally PMSing. My body is slowly running out of the artificial hormones I provide it every month and I’m slowly returning to natural Kiki. That Kiki scares me. I like to sit and think for about three minutes after getting out of the shower in the morning. Most times my thoughts are on what I’m going to wear or what meetings I have for the upcoming day. Today I had a different thought. I’m tired of caring about men. I’m tired of finding a man that I’m interested in, only to rearrange my schedule, drive many miles to see him, feel that I’m the one thinking of him while he’s not thinking of me. I’m tired of it. So, from now on out, I’m going to change my approach to men. I’m going to be the one who’s uninterested. I’m going to hold out till he wants me more than I want him. I’m not going to be the one who calls (well, unless I just want sex. I can call for sex). I’m going to be the one who gets involved in community service and charities and functions so I can have other things to occupy my time instead of think of him. I’m going to date more than one person so I don’t think of him as often. For once, I want to be the one desired…to drive a man insane. Officially, that change starts now.
I received an email in my inbox this morning. It’s from the crazy 40 y/o man who thinks he’s going to find a 40 y/o virgin to spend the rest of his life with. I sent him an email some time ago apologizing for being gone because I was so wrapped up in my birthday and party. So naturally he sends me a 30 page dissertation. Here are some of the highlights. My comments, of course, in parentheses:
“One of the things that I'm willing to make time for, and always have been, is "the" special woman in my life. Since currently I do not have a special woman in my life, then it means that I am willing to make time for the person (a person) who might be that special woman.” (Ok, so I haven’t so much as talked to this guy on the phone nor seen a picture of him. Yet I’m in the ranks of ‘special woman?’)
“You sounded and sound like a person with whom I share much in common. We seem to share many of the same traits. But at the same time it's ok if you're not interested. I would understand and would not be offended. That's life. There are all kinds of relationships: friends, colleagues, personal, "dating," marriage... Not everyone is seeking the same things in life or in relationships, and that's ok too.” (Again…the only interaction we’ve had has been email. I think he’s really pushing it too far at this point.)
“I'm not a casual dater (I don't play the field), yet nor am I too shy to express what I feel or desire. My desire is to pursue meaningful relationships (preferably as few as possible) that "might" lead to marriage. One of them will, while most of them, as would be the case for anyone, will not.
So, having said all of that, how do you see me fitting into your World?” (Dude. Chill out. Believe me, you do NOT want to marry me. And on that note, I’m so conceited; I barely fit into my World. To think that you deserve a place there and I’ve never seen a pic of you (meaning you could be a fatty) is very presumptuous on your part. If you want someone to submit so easily to you, might I suggest mail order brides!)
So although I just wrote that wonderful life changing piece about my change to be aloof to men, I feel that I already need to make an exception. Because if you know one thing about Ms. Kiki, it’s that I love tearing people apart and breaking them down. (Just ask Old Man. It’s been nearly 3 years and he’s still has heart palpitations when I call him drunk just to fuck with his mind.) So I’ve decided I need to treat this new crazy with kid gloves. I may even change my personality for him. I may pretend to be the sweet and innocent person just to lure him in. And my grand finale? Convincing him to sleep with me. Cause if there’s one thing conservative right-wing crazies hate, it’s pre-marital sex. And really, I think that could just put him over the edge. I win!
I received an email in my inbox this morning. It’s from the crazy 40 y/o man who thinks he’s going to find a 40 y/o virgin to spend the rest of his life with. I sent him an email some time ago apologizing for being gone because I was so wrapped up in my birthday and party. So naturally he sends me a 30 page dissertation. Here are some of the highlights. My comments, of course, in parentheses:
“One of the things that I'm willing to make time for, and always have been, is "the" special woman in my life. Since currently I do not have a special woman in my life, then it means that I am willing to make time for the person (a person) who might be that special woman.” (Ok, so I haven’t so much as talked to this guy on the phone nor seen a picture of him. Yet I’m in the ranks of ‘special woman?’)
“You sounded and sound like a person with whom I share much in common. We seem to share many of the same traits. But at the same time it's ok if you're not interested. I would understand and would not be offended. That's life. There are all kinds of relationships: friends, colleagues, personal, "dating," marriage... Not everyone is seeking the same things in life or in relationships, and that's ok too.” (Again…the only interaction we’ve had has been email. I think he’s really pushing it too far at this point.)
“I'm not a casual dater (I don't play the field), yet nor am I too shy to express what I feel or desire. My desire is to pursue meaningful relationships (preferably as few as possible) that "might" lead to marriage. One of them will, while most of them, as would be the case for anyone, will not.
So, having said all of that, how do you see me fitting into your World?” (Dude. Chill out. Believe me, you do NOT want to marry me. And on that note, I’m so conceited; I barely fit into my World. To think that you deserve a place there and I’ve never seen a pic of you (meaning you could be a fatty) is very presumptuous on your part. If you want someone to submit so easily to you, might I suggest mail order brides!)
So although I just wrote that wonderful life changing piece about my change to be aloof to men, I feel that I already need to make an exception. Because if you know one thing about Ms. Kiki, it’s that I love tearing people apart and breaking them down. (Just ask Old Man. It’s been nearly 3 years and he’s still has heart palpitations when I call him drunk just to fuck with his mind.) So I’ve decided I need to treat this new crazy with kid gloves. I may even change my personality for him. I may pretend to be the sweet and innocent person just to lure him in. And my grand finale? Convincing him to sleep with me. Cause if there’s one thing conservative right-wing crazies hate, it’s pre-marital sex. And really, I think that could just put him over the edge. I win!
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
What to Do on Valentine's Day
So I’m sitting here trying to decide if I want to go out on Valentine’s Day. On the one hand, I have two gift certificates to nice restaurants in town. I feel like taking myself out for a martini and a nice appetizer. On the other hand, it may be just stupid for me to kid myself that I’m going to pick up a stranger at the bar on Valentine’s day. However, I know that Daddy Kiki is traveling today, so it seems that business men could be lonely and alone at a bar looking for a tiny lil drunk black girl to spend some time with. (Not that Daddy Kiki would do that. He’s much too outstanding a man to sink to the levels his slutty daughter has sunken to.) So, I’m sitting here, trying to decide if it’s worth it to go out tonight. It could make for an exciting story, or a wasted gift certificate.
Also….I’m searching for a restaurant (besides the ones I have gift certifactes to) to go to tonight. I decided to check citysearch.com for the best rated restaurants in my area. However, this is Lansing. A city that rates this place higher than this place. Oy Vie!
Also….I’m searching for a restaurant (besides the ones I have gift certifactes to) to go to tonight. I decided to check citysearch.com for the best rated restaurants in my area. However, this is Lansing. A city that rates this place higher than this place. Oy Vie!
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Monday, February 13, 2006
Happy Valentine's Day
Although I'm without a Valentine this year (24 years and counting!) I'm surprisingly not bitter at all. No seriously. I'm not. I guess when you're getting laid on a regular basis with no strings attached, you begin to put everything in perspective.
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Sunday, February 12, 2006
WOW!
Oh poodle. I'm still trying to string along multiple boys. Sometimes the timing just isn't always right.
All day Saturday was spent with THM. He's really an interesting/funny person. Not someone I'd like to date, but definately someone I like hanging out with. I called him around noon and asked him if he wanted brunch. I soon discovered that food really is the way to this man's heart. So, we loaded up in his car and went to The Fly Trap. I'm really gonna stop hanging with him because I swear I'm going to gain 10 lbs, the way he eats. Apparently breakfast is his favorite meal of the day, and since Toast was full, we settled on The Fly Trap. And what did I have for brunch? This huge scrambled eggs, heuvos rancheros thing with lots of salsa and sour cream. It was really good.
While eating brunch, THM revealed that he likes gloomy days and is a dark person. I think he's an artist/creative type based upon the type of work he does. He has an older sister who's a hair dresser, he's the spoiled baby of the family, and he's a leo. While eating brunch we read the paper, and he decided that we should go to a movie. Sweet. We had a few hours to burn until Walk The Line started, so we walked around Ferndale (in the snow and below freezing temps) to a boutique where he bought an overpriced but very hipster looking shirt. From there we went to Birmingham to a skate shop (I also learned that in High School he was a skier and golfer) where he looked for a ski jacket for his upcoming ski trip to LA this week.
From there we went to the movie and then Kilwins because I'm a huge chocolate whore. It was nearing 6P when we headed back to his place, so we turned on some music, opened some wine, and ate teh chocolate. We both thought the mood was a little too romantic so we decided to skip all that and get right down to _________.
An hour and a half later, THM was hungry (again?!) so we headed out to Como's, a place famous for it's pizza, where I ordered a cheeseburger and THM ordered fish and chips. After that we went back to his place where we both fell asleep on the couch watching the Olympics.
Overall it was a great day. He was meeting his family for dinner this afternoon, so I left relatively early. I wanted to get home myself and just enjoy some time alone. During the course of last night, The Project (remember him, he's the 24 y/o kid who's balding) called and said he wanted to hang out. Too bad, sucker! You snooze you loose! He may have a chance this weekend. THM is gone this weekend for his LA ski trip, and next weekend for a family ski vacation up north. The Project may get some attention during the interim. However, I have to say, that so far, no one has been able to top THM. I may just have to do without for a few weeks and just exist on the memories of this past weekend with THM. Because, WOW! It was really that good!
All day Saturday was spent with THM. He's really an interesting/funny person. Not someone I'd like to date, but definately someone I like hanging out with. I called him around noon and asked him if he wanted brunch. I soon discovered that food really is the way to this man's heart. So, we loaded up in his car and went to The Fly Trap. I'm really gonna stop hanging with him because I swear I'm going to gain 10 lbs, the way he eats. Apparently breakfast is his favorite meal of the day, and since Toast was full, we settled on The Fly Trap. And what did I have for brunch? This huge scrambled eggs, heuvos rancheros thing with lots of salsa and sour cream. It was really good.
While eating brunch, THM revealed that he likes gloomy days and is a dark person. I think he's an artist/creative type based upon the type of work he does. He has an older sister who's a hair dresser, he's the spoiled baby of the family, and he's a leo. While eating brunch we read the paper, and he decided that we should go to a movie. Sweet. We had a few hours to burn until Walk The Line started, so we walked around Ferndale (in the snow and below freezing temps) to a boutique where he bought an overpriced but very hipster looking shirt. From there we went to Birmingham to a skate shop (I also learned that in High School he was a skier and golfer) where he looked for a ski jacket for his upcoming ski trip to LA this week.
From there we went to the movie and then Kilwins because I'm a huge chocolate whore. It was nearing 6P when we headed back to his place, so we turned on some music, opened some wine, and ate teh chocolate. We both thought the mood was a little too romantic so we decided to skip all that and get right down to _________.
An hour and a half later, THM was hungry (again?!) so we headed out to Como's, a place famous for it's pizza, where I ordered a cheeseburger and THM ordered fish and chips. After that we went back to his place where we both fell asleep on the couch watching the Olympics.
Overall it was a great day. He was meeting his family for dinner this afternoon, so I left relatively early. I wanted to get home myself and just enjoy some time alone. During the course of last night, The Project (remember him, he's the 24 y/o kid who's balding) called and said he wanted to hang out. Too bad, sucker! You snooze you loose! He may have a chance this weekend. THM is gone this weekend for his LA ski trip, and next weekend for a family ski vacation up north. The Project may get some attention during the interim. However, I have to say, that so far, no one has been able to top THM. I may just have to do without for a few weeks and just exist on the memories of this past weekend with THM. Because, WOW! It was really that good!
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Friday, February 10, 2006
Buy me this
You know how I sometimes tell ugly but rich guys I'm a virgin in order to spend their money but not sleep with them? Well this is totally for me!
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Conversation from Last Weekend
Roomie: Julie’s boobs are so soft. I was just laying on them and they were so comfortable. Now I know why Ben likes laying on mine.
Elba: Cy does the same thing too. He’ll be crying and throwing a fit, and I’ll lay him on my boobs. He’ll have his head on one and his hand on the other.
Richard: That kids definitely knows what’s up!
Elba: Cy does the same thing too. He’ll be crying and throwing a fit, and I’ll lay him on my boobs. He’ll have his head on one and his hand on the other.
Richard: That kids definitely knows what’s up!
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Thursday, February 09, 2006
Getting Excited about a Boy = Not Good!
So I just got a call from the black guy that I’m not interested in. He wanted to know what I was doing this weekend. Hmm, maybe I should have been a bit nicer to him. I wanted to tell him that I was looking to score with THM this weekend, but I told him instead that I would be volunteering with the Alumni Club (which surprisingly isn’t a lie). I told him that we’re going tax prep for low income families and I’m looking forward to working with the club. He quickly mentioned that he also volunteers by mentoring young boys and added that he used to do volunteer tax prep for GM workers (and people like that) and that ‘those people’ were always disappointed that their refund checks weren’t big enough or they would be mad at him because when he was done, they’d have to owe the government money. Awkward. And a little bitter too. I told him that I was just happy to be working with the club and helping others, and possibly getting an opportunity to score with THM (well not really that last part).
Anyway, we chit chatted for a while and I was short but sweet with him. He told me that he was hoping that we could get together for this movie but I told him that that’s not the type of movie I like to watch in a theatre. He told me it was increasingly difficult for him to figure me out and I politely told him that no one yet has been able to figure me out. Now that I’m off the phone with him, I kinda wish I was a bit nicer to him. I wasn’t rude, but tonight is the night that I’ve decided to call THM, and I understand that Karma is a bitch. If I want THM to be nice to me and let me come over this weekend, I should have probably been nice to the black guy (we need a name for him…I feel he may be a recurring character). So, we’ll see. Roomie and I already decided that my schedule for tonight should be a trip to the gym, home to shower, dinner (like that’s gonna happen), a glass of wine (that’s more like it), an episode of Will & Grace, and then a phone call to THM. Wish me luck.
Anyway, we chit chatted for a while and I was short but sweet with him. He told me that he was hoping that we could get together for this movie but I told him that that’s not the type of movie I like to watch in a theatre. He told me it was increasingly difficult for him to figure me out and I politely told him that no one yet has been able to figure me out. Now that I’m off the phone with him, I kinda wish I was a bit nicer to him. I wasn’t rude, but tonight is the night that I’ve decided to call THM, and I understand that Karma is a bitch. If I want THM to be nice to me and let me come over this weekend, I should have probably been nice to the black guy (we need a name for him…I feel he may be a recurring character). So, we’ll see. Roomie and I already decided that my schedule for tonight should be a trip to the gym, home to shower, dinner (like that’s gonna happen), a glass of wine (that’s more like it), an episode of Will & Grace, and then a phone call to THM. Wish me luck.
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Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Soft as a baby's bottom
The story about the Super Bowl Weekend is below. But check out this story first!
Ok, hopefully I’ll have some energy later on this week to tell you about my Super Bowl party. It was really fun and I have tons of stories to tell. But first, I’ll start you out with my walk of shame this morning.
I met him on Sunday night at the Super Bowl party I was attending. I was sitting with Jules & Roomie when he walked up to me and we started talking. Being a bit intoxicated, I believe the first words out of mouth were, “I don’t fuck boys under 30.” To which he replied, “I’m 29.” I looked him up and down. He was cute. “I think I can make an exception for you.” We talked for a while and his friend came up to chat with us. His friend was cute too. My guy told me that he lived in (Fabulous) Ferndale and my spirits dropped a little. Earlier in the night I picked up a gay guy not knowing that he was gay. I thought I had picked up another gay guy and his partner. I asked my guy if he was gay and he laughed and told me he wasn’t. At least he had a sense of humor.
Jules, Rommie, and I were sitting down trying to sober up. The party we were at had unlimited food and alcohol for about 12 hours, so you know we were pretty drunk. We finally sobered up and went to the guy’s house (I’ll get to his name in a minute. Be patient.). It was cool. He and his friend shared a duplex. It was actually a pretty nice setup. It was like they were roommates, but they weren’t. We all headed up to my guy’s friend’s part of the house and watched TV. My guy and I were shamelessly making out on the couch. He was a very good kisser for a guy under 30. Soon it was nearing 3A and I had to get Roomie back to the Lansing airport for her 6A flight. (That didn’t happen. But that’s another story too.) So as Jules and Roomie leave to go out to the car, my guy ambushes me and we do one of those crazy hasty make out, throw me down, knock stuff off tables and make a lot of racket routines. Subtle. I told him that I had to bring Jules back to the Detroit Airport later on that day and maybe we could hook up while I was in town.
Cut to Monday. Fortunately I was smart enough to take Monday off work. After dropping Jules at the airport, I trucked it back to my guy’s place. We were both pretty tired. We both got two hours of sleep. He told me he went to bed shortly after we left, but had to be up at 6A for an early meeting. Always thoughtful, my guy picked up a couple movies (Wedding Crashers & 40 Year Old Virgin) and we settled in on the couch where we both fell asleep. I’m telling you, this story is H-O-T.
So cutting the part that is very interesting, but I’m not going to tell you about….we get to my guy’s name. So, we’re in bed, It’s like 8P, and he’s got his shirt off, and I’m scratching his back, when it hits me. He’s so soft. His skin feels softer than mine. So I ask him about it. “Do you moisturize or have some kind of religious daily trip to the spa? Your skin is so soft.” He tells me that he uses Dove and that’s about it. Then I finally figure it out. The man is HAIRLESS! Well, I mean, he had two full heads of hair (think about it) but other than that, his chest, his back, everything was hairless. So, I think we’ll call him The Hairless Man (THM).
So even though THM and I went to bed at about 6P last night, I didn’t leave his house until 8A this morning. I called into work and left a very cryptic message about how I was held up in Detroit, booked it home, changed clothes, doused myself in perfume, and grabbed a coffee at Beaners. I was one and a half hour late. I hadn’t been in the office for three minutes when my boss called. He asked me about the status of a project, I did some bullshitting, and he was none the wiser that I snuck into the office not three minutes before he called.
And how was my weekend with THM? It was very good. I thought we only had a nice time on Sunday night because we were both still intoxicated. But after spending time with him on Monday, I learned that even sober, not only was he an excellent kisser, but I got to cuddle up in his soft and silky skin. I’m so glad that I’m volunteering with the Detroit Alumni Club next weekend. It’ll give me an excuse to conveniently be in town to see him again.
More stories to come…..
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Super Bowl XL
So I’ve told you about THM. Now time to tell you about the rest of the weekend.
The weekend started a bit weirdly. I drove to Detroit to pick up Jules and Quia. Fortunately their flights were arriving at the same time, so I didn’t have to make two trips our to Detroit. I picked up Jules first and then called Quia to see if she had made it in to the airport. No answer. Weird. So Jules and I waited around for Quia to meet us outside. After a few minutes, I got worried. There was no sign of her. I called the airline and they told me that her flight had landed. I called Quia again and still could not get an answer. Fortunately I still had our old work number in my phone, so I called her old job and spoke to her mother. Her mother told me that it was her understanding that Quia would not be coming to Detroit. Ok….well I was at the airport waiting for her and no one passed on this information to me. Her mother apologized and told me again that Quia wasn’t coming. Oh well, at least it freed up a bed at my place.
After picking up Jules, we headed back to Lansing where I picked up Tony and Elba. They were already drunk. Nice! We headed to the liquor store and then The Dungeon where we drank more and waited for Tony’s friends to arrive. In the interim, I got drunk, stumbled to my neighbor’s house, and invited him over to join the fun too. Josh was really cool, and during the course of the night we went down the street to drunkenly harass some other neighbors in the neighborhood. Because we’re fun like that. Later that night we went to Greektown casino for a party. It was cool. I was able to get my name put at the door so everyone was able to get in with no hassle. Detroit was mad crazy crowded, but everyone had a good time.
Saturday was a chill day. It was mostly spent drinking and hanging out. We got a real heavy snow on Saturday night so we decided to stay close to town and party instead. Well, that was until Tony got so drunk that he passed out. Fearing what would happen to my house with a drunk Tony left alone, Elba and I decided to stay at The Dungeon and chill while everyone else went out.
On Sunday everyone left except Jules and Roomie. It was time to party. Boss Man got us tickets to a private corporate game watch for the Super Bowl. And to top it off, he got us a free parking pass as well. If you were able to experience the madness that was downtown on Friday night, you’ll understand why that parking pass was so valuable! So Roomie, Jules, and I roll up into the party. It’s unbelievable. We check our coats and immediately get in line for drinks. While standing in line, we see a lot of people with food. It was at that moment that we realized that all food was free. And the drink line we were in….it was free too. And it was premium alcohol. No Papov or Boone’s Farm here!
After getting our first cocktail and our first shot, we headed upstairs where we discovered a whole other level of food and drink. Bar-b-Q, a carving station, a dessert table. To say the least, we were totally excited. Although there was a lot of food, we started out with fruits and vegetables. Cause we’re healthy like that.
Soon after, the game started. We couldn’t get a seat to watch the game, so we decided to take a stroll outside. It was hella cold. We took a walk by the river and took pictures. When we headed back inside we got another drink and decided to start mingling. I’m not real fond of Detroit men. For the most part, not a lot of them are extremely attractive. However, I did catch the eye of one man. “I like your glasses.” I said as an ice breaker. This guy was very talkative and clearly intoxicated. I don’t remember what he said he did for a living, but he told me he was 36. I was clearly interested. Sharp dresser and over the age limit. I could deal with that. I introduced him to Jules & Roomie and asked if he would do a shot with us. He agreed, and as I cornered him for a one on one discussion, he mentioned how much in love he was in with his partner of 7 years. Doh! No wonder I was attracted to him. The man was very much so gay! So we ditched him and his not so attractive friends and Jules and Roomie and I went to the car to change outfits.
When we got back, they were setting up the ice sculptures for the complimentary champagne toast. It was a nice set up. They placed caviar at the bottom of the glasses and fresh cream around the rims. Then they poured the champagne down the ice sculptures to make a champagne fountain. Classy.
After downing a couple glasses of champagne (did I mention that the open bar was STILL open 12 hours later?!) we headed to the front of the stage for the Queens of the Stone Age concert. I have no idea who they are. But I was clearly drunk and I kept yelling things at the stage like, “Woo Hood! I can’t wait for the Biggie and Tupac Concert!” Heh. This behavior, of course, attracted the attention of two guys. One had hair and one didn’t. I started flirting with the one with hair. After several minutes of flirting, I find out that hair was married and bald was single. Boo! Dismissed. I ignored them both from that point on.
So, after the concert, we try to sober up where I meet THM (see above).
Cut to the wee hours of Monday morning when I’m speeding from Detroit to Lansing (normally an hour and 15 minute drive) to get Roomie on her 6A flight. Turns out they gave her seat away and she would be leaving at 11A. Cool. We go back to my place where I get 2 hours of sleep before I have to return the rental car. I get back home where I can no longer sleep, upload my photos (email me here to get the link) take Roomie back to the airport, take a shower, take Jules to the Detroit airport, and truck it back to THM’s house for a movie.
For more information about my afternoon with THM, see above.
The weekend started a bit weirdly. I drove to Detroit to pick up Jules and Quia. Fortunately their flights were arriving at the same time, so I didn’t have to make two trips our to Detroit. I picked up Jules first and then called Quia to see if she had made it in to the airport. No answer. Weird. So Jules and I waited around for Quia to meet us outside. After a few minutes, I got worried. There was no sign of her. I called the airline and they told me that her flight had landed. I called Quia again and still could not get an answer. Fortunately I still had our old work number in my phone, so I called her old job and spoke to her mother. Her mother told me that it was her understanding that Quia would not be coming to Detroit. Ok….well I was at the airport waiting for her and no one passed on this information to me. Her mother apologized and told me again that Quia wasn’t coming. Oh well, at least it freed up a bed at my place.
After picking up Jules, we headed back to Lansing where I picked up Tony and Elba. They were already drunk. Nice! We headed to the liquor store and then The Dungeon where we drank more and waited for Tony’s friends to arrive. In the interim, I got drunk, stumbled to my neighbor’s house, and invited him over to join the fun too. Josh was really cool, and during the course of the night we went down the street to drunkenly harass some other neighbors in the neighborhood. Because we’re fun like that. Later that night we went to Greektown casino for a party. It was cool. I was able to get my name put at the door so everyone was able to get in with no hassle. Detroit was mad crazy crowded, but everyone had a good time.
Saturday was a chill day. It was mostly spent drinking and hanging out. We got a real heavy snow on Saturday night so we decided to stay close to town and party instead. Well, that was until Tony got so drunk that he passed out. Fearing what would happen to my house with a drunk Tony left alone, Elba and I decided to stay at The Dungeon and chill while everyone else went out.
On Sunday everyone left except Jules and Roomie. It was time to party. Boss Man got us tickets to a private corporate game watch for the Super Bowl. And to top it off, he got us a free parking pass as well. If you were able to experience the madness that was downtown on Friday night, you’ll understand why that parking pass was so valuable! So Roomie, Jules, and I roll up into the party. It’s unbelievable. We check our coats and immediately get in line for drinks. While standing in line, we see a lot of people with food. It was at that moment that we realized that all food was free. And the drink line we were in….it was free too. And it was premium alcohol. No Papov or Boone’s Farm here!
After getting our first cocktail and our first shot, we headed upstairs where we discovered a whole other level of food and drink. Bar-b-Q, a carving station, a dessert table. To say the least, we were totally excited. Although there was a lot of food, we started out with fruits and vegetables. Cause we’re healthy like that.
Soon after, the game started. We couldn’t get a seat to watch the game, so we decided to take a stroll outside. It was hella cold. We took a walk by the river and took pictures. When we headed back inside we got another drink and decided to start mingling. I’m not real fond of Detroit men. For the most part, not a lot of them are extremely attractive. However, I did catch the eye of one man. “I like your glasses.” I said as an ice breaker. This guy was very talkative and clearly intoxicated. I don’t remember what he said he did for a living, but he told me he was 36. I was clearly interested. Sharp dresser and over the age limit. I could deal with that. I introduced him to Jules & Roomie and asked if he would do a shot with us. He agreed, and as I cornered him for a one on one discussion, he mentioned how much in love he was in with his partner of 7 years. Doh! No wonder I was attracted to him. The man was very much so gay! So we ditched him and his not so attractive friends and Jules and Roomie and I went to the car to change outfits.
When we got back, they were setting up the ice sculptures for the complimentary champagne toast. It was a nice set up. They placed caviar at the bottom of the glasses and fresh cream around the rims. Then they poured the champagne down the ice sculptures to make a champagne fountain. Classy.
After downing a couple glasses of champagne (did I mention that the open bar was STILL open 12 hours later?!) we headed to the front of the stage for the Queens of the Stone Age concert. I have no idea who they are. But I was clearly drunk and I kept yelling things at the stage like, “Woo Hood! I can’t wait for the Biggie and Tupac Concert!” Heh. This behavior, of course, attracted the attention of two guys. One had hair and one didn’t. I started flirting with the one with hair. After several minutes of flirting, I find out that hair was married and bald was single. Boo! Dismissed. I ignored them both from that point on.
So, after the concert, we try to sober up where I meet THM (see above).
Cut to the wee hours of Monday morning when I’m speeding from Detroit to Lansing (normally an hour and 15 minute drive) to get Roomie on her 6A flight. Turns out they gave her seat away and she would be leaving at 11A. Cool. We go back to my place where I get 2 hours of sleep before I have to return the rental car. I get back home where I can no longer sleep, upload my photos (email me here to get the link) take Roomie back to the airport, take a shower, take Jules to the Detroit airport, and truck it back to THM’s house for a movie.
For more information about my afternoon with THM, see above.
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Friday, February 03, 2006
Almost Ready
This is what my fridge looks like at 6:45 a.m. I've been up for about an hour doing some last minute prep. This is the most my fridge has ever had in it since I bought it in August! And of course, it's filled (partially) with beer!
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Thursday, February 02, 2006
Sorry the posts aren't very exciting lately
So I’ve been reading over my past blogs and it seems that they’re not a snarky as they used to be. Maybe because I’m continuing to stress about the details of my party and I don’t have the energy to be snarky due to my reduced calorie intake.
I do have to say hello to a new reader. Jonathan is added on the right and I went to high school with him. He posted on my Facebook page that he was shocked but intrigued by my blog. Oh Jonathan, like I said, I haven’t been all that shocking lately. Wait until after my super bowl party. Assuming that my ass doesn’t land in jail, there will be much more shocking stories.
I forgot to mention last night. I went to the gym, you know, for my last workout before my friends arrive, and the gym bitch almost wouldn’t let me in. See, at MSU, the gym isn’t free. It is a nice gym, but you have to pay $3 per session. Plus they make you swipe your student ID card. Now, I have an MSU student ID card even though I’m not registered as a student. Why? Because I’m slick like that. Anyway, I go to the gym at least twice/week, and the staff knows me and they usually don’t swipe my card. This new girl, however, wanted to be thorough, or whatever, and tried to prevent me from coming in. You can imagine what would have happen had I been denied entrance to the gym on the last day I had to work out before my party. That girl wouldn’t know the limitations of my wrath! But I told her that my ID had been demagnetized at the mall and I was going to fix it soon. She snidely remarked that I should get that taken care of soon.
Hmm…that story wasn’t all that good. Sorry kids. I’m working with limited material right now. Hopefully I’ll have a better story by the afternoon.
I do have to say hello to a new reader. Jonathan is added on the right and I went to high school with him. He posted on my Facebook page that he was shocked but intrigued by my blog. Oh Jonathan, like I said, I haven’t been all that shocking lately. Wait until after my super bowl party. Assuming that my ass doesn’t land in jail, there will be much more shocking stories.
I forgot to mention last night. I went to the gym, you know, for my last workout before my friends arrive, and the gym bitch almost wouldn’t let me in. See, at MSU, the gym isn’t free. It is a nice gym, but you have to pay $3 per session. Plus they make you swipe your student ID card. Now, I have an MSU student ID card even though I’m not registered as a student. Why? Because I’m slick like that. Anyway, I go to the gym at least twice/week, and the staff knows me and they usually don’t swipe my card. This new girl, however, wanted to be thorough, or whatever, and tried to prevent me from coming in. You can imagine what would have happen had I been denied entrance to the gym on the last day I had to work out before my party. That girl wouldn’t know the limitations of my wrath! But I told her that my ID had been demagnetized at the mall and I was going to fix it soon. She snidely remarked that I should get that taken care of soon.
Hmm…that story wasn’t all that good. Sorry kids. I’m working with limited material right now. Hopefully I’ll have a better story by the afternoon.
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
It's All About Me!
I had a wonderful birthday today, due in part to wonderful friends!
I started today opening my birthday present from Daddy Kiki. We have a strict rule in our house that you can't open presents until after the time you were born. But I had a ton of meetings today and I would be in a meeting at my birth time so Daddy Kiki wasn't able to call me to wish me happy birthday when he wanted to. Therefore, he allowed me to open my present this morning before I left for work. Good thing, too, as I got a very nice purse from him that I carried around all day.
I also received the nicest phone calls from my friends. I'm not blaming the friends I didn't hear from today as I seem to have forgotten some birthdays last year, so I'm not upset that they missed mine.
Other than that I spent my birthday at the gym. No cake for me! It's the last day I get to work out before my friends arrive. Tommorow is dedicated to doing last minute shopping and then I'm off to the airport on Friday and the festivities will begin! I can't wait!
I started today opening my birthday present from Daddy Kiki. We have a strict rule in our house that you can't open presents until after the time you were born. But I had a ton of meetings today and I would be in a meeting at my birth time so Daddy Kiki wasn't able to call me to wish me happy birthday when he wanted to. Therefore, he allowed me to open my present this morning before I left for work. Good thing, too, as I got a very nice purse from him that I carried around all day.
I also received the nicest phone calls from my friends. I'm not blaming the friends I didn't hear from today as I seem to have forgotten some birthdays last year, so I'm not upset that they missed mine.
Other than that I spent my birthday at the gym. No cake for me! It's the last day I get to work out before my friends arrive. Tommorow is dedicated to doing last minute shopping and then I'm off to the airport on Friday and the festivities will begin! I can't wait!
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About me
- I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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