Thursday, January 24, 2008 

Road Trip Success

Well kids, I'm back from my road trip. It was a major success. Let's pick up where I left off:

On Sunday, Roomie and I went to the movies and saw Atonement. I recommend this movie. I thought it was going to be a romance, so I didn't want to subject Baloo to it, but it's much much more than a romance movie, and I recommend it to everyone. After the movies we came back home and watched the NFL Championship games and I got very drunk. But I rallied the troops because I woke up at 5A and started on my journey to Washington, DC.

DC was a blast! Baloo flew into town a couple hours before me so Kipper and Dr. Wave were nice enough to pick him up from the airport and take him to breakfast. They were so sweet that the didn't even give Baloo the gay while they were in his company alone. And for that, I am grateful.

Kipper, Baloo and I went and viewed the city while Dr. Wave stayed at home and studied for being a Dr. or something. We hit up the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam Memorial, the Korean Memorial, the DC Service People Memorial (it's a sad little memorial that's really covered by weeds), the WWII Memorial, the FDR Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial, the Washington Monument, the National Archives, the Natural History Museum, the Air & Space Museum (and the Air & Space McDonald's...classy!), the Capitol, and the White House. We got to see everything on my list except the National Cemetery, which I think was a success. Baloo has never been to D.C. so I wanted to make sure he saw all the good stuff. I've been to D.C. more times than I can count, so the trip was really for him.

We went home and met up with Dr. Wave and I called one of my H.S. friends to come and join us for dinner. Beautiful (that's what we'll call her, mainly cause that's what I call her) has been living in the city for about a year, and she doesn't know too many people outside of work. So, naturally I had to hook her up with my alcoholic gay best friend. Beautiful brought a gay of her own, and the six of us went to dinner. It was a great success. Beautiful and her gay got along marvelously with my gays. However, the evening came to a halt at the end of the night.

Truthfully, it was my fault and I've taken the time to evaluate the situation and apologize to Baloo. As background, I guess I'm very concerned about what people think about me and Baloo. Especially new people. Now, Beautiful is not a new person. But I wondered what she would have thought about our situation. I just got a new job as Master of the Universe, Kipper is in nursing school, Dr. Wave is in Dr. School, and Baloo works part time in retail. I wanted everyone to like Baloo. Which really wasn't an issue, and truthfully, I made the situation worse. After dinner we all went to a bar to have drinks. When Baloo and I went to the bathroom, I told him that he was being too loud at the table. I didn't mean to offend him, just give him a pointer. Well, when we got home from the bar, the shit hit the fan. Baloo was upset that I was embarrassed of him (not the case) and we had been drinking and Kipper's house. It was a bit embarrassing. But looking back at the situation, I see how I hurt Baloo's feelings, even if it was unintentional. I really need to stop looking for approval from other people and live my own life. It's something I'm working on.

But other than our domestic spat in our host's home (sorry, Kipper!), it was a wonderful trip. Baloo and I drove the 10 hours back to Michigan and we've had a nice time hanging out together here at home before I start my new job.

The End!

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Sunday, January 20, 2008 

Blogging from the Road

Hey Kids! I'm currently in Cary, NC visiting my college roommate, Roomie! I've been here for a day now and I've had a lot of fun.

I left Michigan on Friday and drove as far as Charleston, WV. It was a pretty uneventful drive for the most part. That is, until Google Maps failed me. Most of the time I like Google Maps. However, this time, driving through Ohio, the map told me to suddenly take a road that went West. Being the obedient person that I am, I followed the instructions. However, by this time it was dark, and I was feeling a little uncomfortable, so I called Kipper and asked him to look at a map and lead me in the right direction. Apparently Google Maps was leading me in some sort of circle. Being alone for the road trip, I was very nervous and wanted to make sure that people knew where I was at all times. Kipper told me to turn around and go back the way I came, but I decided to get on a little country road because I thought it would be shorter. I should have listened to Kipper. Driving through rural Ohio was one of the first times I actually felt scared. Highway 124 was more like Lynchville, USA. All I could think about was that woman who went to walk her dog in GA and came back decapitated. I prayed that I wouldn't run out of gas and the car wouldn't break down, because judging by the darkness and the abundance of double wide trailers, I knew this was the one place I didn't want to be stranded.

Fortunately I got out alive without incident and was able to get back on the highway and head on to Charleston. Of course, when I got to my hotel, I turned on my signal lights to make a left hand turn into the hotel parking lot when all of a sudden I saw flashing lights behind me. I had been on the road of nine hours and NOW I get pulled over by the cops?! The officer was really nice. Apparently I blasted through a stop sign. I put on my best southern voice and gave him a brief history of my trip so far. He saw from the rental car and my license that I was 'not from around those parts' and let me off scott free. What a saint!

The next day I woke up and drove the rest of the was to North Carolina. I was disappointed that I woke up so early in the morning, because the sun was not yet up and I couldn't see the mountains in WV and VA that I was driving through. The sun finally came up in Virginia and the mountains were beautiful. I even got a hoot about driving through the Jefferson National Forest and driving though the tunnels bored through the mountains! Oh, that reminds me. I have these animal fantasies when I drive. In Michigan I have a fear of deer jumping out in front of my vehicle. When I was driving through the mountains, I had a fear of a mountain lion jumping in front of my vehicle. Hey, I never said my animal fantasies made any sense!

So when I finally got to NC, we had to do the important tasks of bridesmaid dress shopping. I met one of Roomie's bridesmaids and off we went. When I was talking to Roomie about this trip, I was most excited about trying on dresses. Be careful what you wish for! The first bridal store we walked into, I froze. I was literally overwhelmed. I've never been in a bridal store before, and everything there was just too much for me to handle. For a good minute or so, I stuck close to Roomie and told her how scared I was. By the time we got to David's Bridal, I wasn't much better. There was so much fabric. It was scary. And then I got to the point where I hated trying on dresses. I was practically BEGGING Roomie to please save me from more dresses. She had none of that and tortured my further.

(P.S. This is the dress that I liked the best as her Maid of Honor. However, she thought it was too low on me. You know what I say? Screw her! I like this dress, and she's not the boss of me! Just kidding. I was a very good bridesmaid and I told her that whatever dress she picks, I will wear it with no complaints! Cause I'm a good Maid of Honor like that!)

We ended the night with me going out to dinner with her and her fiance. I like the guy. He makes Roomie happy and that's what's most important. He is a goofball, but I think that's his personality. Plus, he really wants me to like him. And I like when people think I'm really that important.

Oh, and because my Roomie is a hot shot in the health care field, she was able to diagnose a problem I've had for a while. See, a lot of times when I eat, my tummy gets funky and starts boiling because it hates food. Well, Roomie basically told me that when I go on a 700 calorie diet, and then go out to eat (like we did last night) my tummy produces too much acid, that that's what makes it angry. (See, I told you my tummy doesn't like food.) She said that I have acid reflux and suggested some OTC meds for me! Don't you love how freaking smart she is? Now, if only I could get her to start writing me prescriptions for some good stuff......

Tonight we're having a little AFC gamewatch here at Roomie's house. And, tomorrow I leave at 5A to travel to DC. Baloo is flying into DC and I'm driving. There, I plan to give Baloo a short tour of our Nation's Capitol and get drunk and crazy with Kipper and Co.!

More details to follow!


Thursday, January 17, 2008 


I'm making probably my first road trip alone. I'm so excited! I leave tomorrow and drive to NC to see Roomie. There we will shop for bridesmaid dresses and get drunk. Then I'm driving to DC where I'll meet up with Kipper and Dr. Wave where we will get drunk and visit Tequila Man and Chips & Salsa man. Baloo is flying out to meet me in DC where I'll take him around to see our Nation's Capitol. Then it's dinner with the Kippers, Baloo, and my friend from HS. Then Baloo and I are driving back to Michigan!

I can't wait to get on the road and start my adventure. Everyone pray for my safety and I'll be sure to provide lots of pictures and drunken tales!


Tuesday, January 15, 2008 

He Was Right, I Was Wrong

Did I tell y'all about my new pantry? My wonderful BFF, Kipper, hooked me up with some shelving from The Container Store for my pantry. I'm really excited as this is the first home improvement that I've done in the Dungeon. (Which really rocks when you buy a new home.) So I took out the old shelving and in the process, tore the paper off the drywall. Now there are some brown spots on the walls where the shelves used to be. Baloo told me that I needed to prime those areas first. But, I didn't believe him and I started painting last night. Naturally, the brown spots still showed under the white paint. Now I have to go back and prime those spots to make the job look neat and nice.

I don't know why I don't listen to Baloo. It's not like he's telling me wrong information on purpose. And, sometimes, he actually knows what he's talking about. Ok. I'm going to put more effort into listening to my boyfriend. Perhaps it's for the better.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008 

You Still A N****r

There's a song by Trick Daddy called America. The song talks about black men achieving the American dream. The song goes on to say that you can be a Dr. or Lawyer or, let's just go there, President. And to many people, no matter your accomplishments, you're still a n****r.

You only got 2 bucks and give less than a fuck -- then you a nigga
Got a nice home and a Lexus truck -- you a nigga
World champions and you M.V.P -- you a nigga
4 degrees and a Ph.D -- still a nigga
You use your platinum card for ID's -- then you's a nigga
If your skin is brown just like me -- then you a nigga
Got a promotion and a FAT ass raise -- you still a nigga
You from the islands and your peoples wasn't slaves -- you a nigga
No matter how much your ass get paid -- you still a nigga
Shot by the cops at a traffic stop -- cause you a nigga
That's why I hold toast too
I sell bi-coastal
They inter-catching you with satellites in deep space
Now...Who invented niggaz in the first place?
And said America is the original birthplace?
Who gettin' 10 - 20 - Life on they first case?
My niggaz

I'm very happy for Obama's success. I think that this country is looking for a change from the status quo, and the country may think he is that beacon of change. I personally choose not to discuss politics here. However, it was this article (it's short, y'all) that made me think of the implications of a black man as president. I wonder if the country as a whole is really ready. I fear for Obama and what he may face as a black president. Do I think he can rise to the challenge? Absolutely. However, I think about his wife and his two young children and hope that they are shielded from the hatred and bigotry that will inevitably come from his possible election.

The story about Tiger Woods made me think. The man is a millionaire many times over. He is one of the greatest golfers of our time. From what I have seen in reports about him, he's dedicated to family and those less fortunate. He's an upstanding citizen. However, comments like "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley" still remain. It's sad, but I think Trick Daddy had a lot of truth to his message. No matter how successful you become and how much you blend into the established society, you're still a n****r.

Update: Sigh. I guess I've already written about this before.

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008 

Fat Tina Fey?

So, after reading Jonathan's comment, I wanted to do a little more research into Tina Fey being fat. Of course, my research was limited to typing "Tina Fey Overweight" into Google, but I found that Jonathan was correct. A gold star goes to anyone who can produce a picture of tubby Tina Fey.

But that made me more angry. What right does she have to criticize Playboy or anyone else for reducing themselves to featuring only blonde, tanned, 98 lb girls? She gave into the hype too. Yeah, she said that she just decided one day to lose the weight. Whatever bitch! No one wakes up in the morning and just decides, "I want to be thin." No. We're bombarded with images of waif-like people and told that they're pretty and successful and rich. Or we know that in the industry we work in, the pretty skinny girl usually gets her way...or better ratings. So yes, I'm still on my unhealthy weight loss kick. But that's my damage. I'm just really upset that Tina Fey would pretend that she's so above the weight issue when she's a victim just like the rest of us. However, I'll still continue to watch 30 Rock. That show is hilarious!

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Sunday, January 06, 2008 


I'm back on the liquid/700 calorie diet. I decided this while on the elliptical machine this morning. It's easier to make these decisions when Baloo is not here. He's so hateful, saying mean things to me like, "that really sounds unhealthy" or "I like your body the way it is." Just pure hate. I'm actually really excited. I'm planning on dropping the weight before my birthday. This winter I tried to wear a dress to the office Christmas party and I couldn't zip it up. I was devastated. So, I'm planning on wearing the dress to my birthday dinner as a celebration for turning a year older and a size smaller.

I was reading an article in this month's Playboy magazine where they interview Tina Fey (NSFW). She goes on a rant about how the media (including Playboy) always seek out the girls that look the same. She said that back in the day, some women had nice bodies, and some women didn't. But now, people think that if you get a tan, dye your hair blonde, and weigh 98 lbs (I wish!), you too can be the flavor of the month. I took some solace in what she said, but I didn't find much comfort in what she said. Have you seen her? She's a tiny little woman herself, and she's had a baby too. Not to call her a lier, but I'm sure she keeps her weight and waist to a certain size because she's in TV. I don't think she'd have much of a career if she decided that after she had her baby, she was just going to keep her baby weight instead of lose it. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting rant.

That is all! Everyone have a good week!

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Saturday, January 05, 2008 


Despite the sexual connotation of the picture above, my news does not involve anything about sex. I got a new job! I will now be the new Master of the Universe! Not really. Y'all know I can't tell you what my new job is. But I am super duper excited, and I start soon! Commence to celebrating!


Thursday, January 03, 2008 

Aerobic Striptease

Baloo is gone for 8 days to help his brother move to San Antonio. So, I have a lot of time on my hands. Before he left I ordered Carmen Electra's Aerobic Workout from Netflix. Today, I decided to see what it was all about.

First, I love one of her quotes. "Never underestimate the power of a finger in the mouth." You're telling me, sister! Actually, the workout was fun! I would recommend disc one. The routines were very easy to learn, and they're actually sexy. Even the warm-up was sexy. Carmen is the sexiest of the instructors. The other yuppies look really uncomfortable performing stripper moves. Meanwhile, Carmen looks right at home.

So I can't wait to perfect my routine and surprise Baloo when he gets home. It's good that I have goals!


About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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