Wednesday, August 31, 2005 

Race Pictures

I totally forgot to post pictures from the Race. They are here. I had to look up the names of the drivers...and I'm sure I still got plenty of the names wrong.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 

Don’t get too comfortable

I’ve been gushing over the cop. I gushed a considerable amount while on the phone with Tiffy last night. Let me explain:

After dropping Daddy Kiki off at the airport, I headed over to The Cop’s house where we decided to hang out and make the most of a beautiful afternoon. I wanted to be outside, so he suggested we take the bike over to the zoo. I like zoos. I think couples should go to the zoo. Not necessarily relationship couples, but two people should go as a group. Recently I’ve been to the zoo with Daddy Kiki, Kipper, and The Cop, and I’ve had just a grand time. Apparently The Cop is part of the Detroit Zoological Society. I have no idea what that means, but I do know that we were able to get into the zoo for free. Now, when I go to the zoo, I like to look at the animals. I don’t like to read or learn. Plus, it was a Sunday. We all know I don’t learn on Sundays. But The Cop was really interested in learning where the animals originated from, what different animals were related, and who their predators were. He was mildly disgusted that humans were the only predators of many of the animals. I had to hold my tongue and not make comments about the wonderful furs some of the animal pelts would make or my involvement in my high school’s Clubbing Baby Seals Club.

The zoo made a prime hand holding venue. However I still refused to make the first move on that one. I gave him all the signals. I walked really really close to him. I brushed my arm against his. But he wouldn’t grab my hand. Maybe he’s not a hand holder. I don’t know.

But, as I was telling all of this to Tiffy, she reminded me to keep my wits about me. It’s pretty obvious that I’m falling for The Cop, but she mentioned that boys have a weird thing about disappearing on me for no good reason. Smitty left b/c he was a workaholic (even tho we were totally making that work for us). The Cop left the first time without telling me. SD #1 left after Kipper and I insulted his daughter over the phone (like that’s a good reason to leave someone). I guess I should be more careful and brace myself for what inevitably might come. I haven’t gushed over the cop to The Cop, I’ve let him know that I like being with him, but haven’t gone any further than that. He needs to be in the dark about this one. Once people realize how important they are to another person, they tend to take advantage of that power. And I’ll be damned if I relinquish of any of my power.

Monday, August 22, 2005 

Jealous Man

The races were good. I plan to have photos up by Tuesday. Get excited.

So you know how I’m really friendly and I’ll talk to anyone who’ll listen to me? Well that paid off on Sunday. While wandering the Garage area before the NASCAR race, I ran into this black guy who was all in NASCAR official clothes. I walked over to him and said hello and started asking him questions. I asked if he was part of a pit crew, and he told me that he was a NASCAR official. He’s like one of the referees of NASCAR. In fact, there are only three black NASCAR officials, and he was the first one ever hired. We talked for a while and he was very friendly. He introduced me to some guy who owns a bunch of race teams and he pointed out the President of NASCAR to me as well. Then he asked me if I had ever been on pit road. I told him that I thought I had, but I wasn’t sure. Apparently, before the start of a race, the cars are lined up in two rows and people have to stand behind a partition to take pictures of the cars. Not Mama Kiki! Mr. Official took me beyond the partition where I was able to get up close and personal with the cars of Jeff Gordon, Kasey Khane, and Dale Earhardt Jr. Not that I like racing or anything, but I do love me some celebrities. Mr. Official was apparently officiating Jeff Gordon’s car that day, and he told me to look for him on TV whenever Gordon went to the pits. After that he showed me where all the drivers would be entering for their drivers meeting and where I could get some autographs (haha! Like I wanted those!). So when the time came for the drivers to walk by, I asked this lady to tell me which ones were the drivers and I’d take their pictures. I got a few good pics but I’m not real sure who the folks were. But anyway, Mr. Official and I exchanged business cards and I told him that the next time he was in town, I would take him and his friends around Lansing. So now, for the second race in a row, people have wondered why lil Miss Black girl gets special treatment (I got a police escort on my first trip to the track).

So I told The Cop this story last night. And he got a teeny tiny bit jealous! It was kinda cute. After I finished my story, he asked, “So how old was this guy?” And I was like, oh around 50ish. I think he was married or whatnot….are you jealous? And he just hemmed and hawed for a while. I thought it was cute that he was concerned that Mr. Official was trying to move in on me. How cute. Little does he know that Kiki was with Old Man for a while, and by all guesstimates, he was older than Father Time. We just won’t mention that to The Cop.

Friday, August 19, 2005 

Continuing to Fight the Man

Here's the letter I wrote to the newspaper journalist about my apartment situation:

Mr. Schneider,

Per our telephone conversation on Friday, August 19, 2005, I am emailing you about a situation I encountered with Beacon Lake Apartments in Mason, MI. I hope that you choose to cover this story as it can serve a lesson to many people who rent apartments in this area, especially the college students at MSU.

I moved into Beacon Lake Apartments in August 2004. I told the office staff that I would like an 800 sq. ft. apartment. They showed and lead me to believe I was viewing an 800 sq. ft. apartment; therefore, I was satisfied with it and signed the lease. I moved in the following Sunday when I discovered that the apartment they rented to me was not 800 sq. ft. but in fact, it was 720 sq. ft. The only way I figured this out was because the 800 sq. ft. apartment had a walk in closet. Normally I would not have had a problem with the smaller apartment, but I needed the larger closet, and I felt like I was deceived. I called the apartment manager, Ms. Sally Sheridan and she transferred me to a larger apartment 18 days later. However, I was now asked to sign a new lease for September 2004. I was also asked to bring in my old lease so it could be destroyed. I didn’t know that this would later pose a major problem.

Fast forwarding to July 2005, I sent Beacon Lake a 30 day notice and told them I would be moving August 28, 2005. They sent me a letter back saying that my lease was not up until September 2005, and I owed the apartment approximately $400. This was due to the fact that I signed a new lease 18 days after the first lease. I spoke to the manager, Ms. Sheridan, again, and told her that I completed my year commitment to the apartment and I did not feel that I should pay for the additional 18 days, since it was their mistake in the beginning by renting an apartment that was smaller than what I requested. Ms. Sheridan could not help me, so I asked to speak to the owner, Dave Wickens. Mr. Wickens informed me that he did not talk to tenants about lease information and if I had a problem, I could contact his lawyer, Ms. Candace Wilson.

Ms. Wilson was on vacation when I called her, so I spoke to her associate, Mr. Chris Brown. Mr. Brown was very pleasant on the phone and we scheduled a time to meet to discuss the matter. However, before giving me the directions to his office, his demeanor suddenly changed and he told me that he was not going to charge Beacon Lake for a meeting that would take place in five minutes over the phone and he was refusing to meet in person with me. I then agreed to a conference call the following day. However, I cancelled that call as I received some valuable advice from an attorney I previously worked with.

In the meantime, I contacted Mr. Bruce Johnston at the Ingham County Housing Commission Administration. I gave him all the details of the situation without revealing the name of the apartment complex. He immediately recognized the complex as Beacon Lake. I explained to him that I never had any problems with my rent or apartment, and that during the course of my tenancy, I made a useful suggestion to the manager which the complex later adopted. He informed me that they are notorious for sticking to the letter of their lease, and it was unfortunate that even though I fulfilled my year commitment to them, they were not even willing to discuss the matter with me to work out a compromise.

To this day, the problem has still not been resolved. I have since written Beacon Lake a letter stating specifically why I have concerns about the additional $400 they are asking for. As of today, I have not heard back from Beacon Lake.

I am asking you to do a news story about this in the Lansing State Journal in order to warn other renters about pitfalls they may encounter when renting an apartment. Most landlord/tenant relationships are very amicable. However, there are rare times when landlords or even renters chose not to resolve problems directly and fairly. With school starting very soon and both students and Mid Michigan residents looking for apartments, these renters should know their rights and how to protect themselves as renters.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter. If you have any additional concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me. During the week, I can be contacted at my office at: After hours I can be contacted on my cell phone at:


Whew! That's a lot!

A lot is going on, kids. I finally got my brand spanking new Queen sized mattress. A part of me wanted to get a King sized, but that would be a bit shady. I mean, what single girl really needs a King sized mattress? I also bought one of those memory foam pillows for The Cop. Cause that’s what he’s got on his bed (cause he’s old and needs extra neck support). However, I didn’t take it out of its box or lose the receipt. We’re thinking that he won’t have time to come see me until the middle of September, so just in case we don’t last that long (knock on wood) I can take that bitch back. Wow, my curse is that I’m pragmatic in relationships.

This weekend I have NASCAR events. You can tell I’m super duper excited. Both Saturday and Sunday I have to be at NASCAR events. It’ll be a long weekend. This time I plan on taking my camera so we can all see what racing is all about. (insert devious laugh)

My next post will show you the latest that’s going on with my fight against The Man. I wrote a letter to the local newspaper asking for them to write a story about my situation, or at least some things to watch for when renting an apartment.

Then on Tuesday it’s more fighting The Man. This time in traffic court. The Cop volunteered to contact the P.O. who stopped me to see if he can reason with him. If The Cop is successful, he’s got a huge present coming to him. I may even be generous enough to spend the money I saved to pay the ticket on a present for him. Well, not really. We all know I’m not that caring.

Then it’s more gradual moving into The Dungeon with Daddy Kiki coming to town on Thursday. I’m hoping to move the majority of my stuff next week so we’ll only have the heavy furniture to move when he gets here.

Then on Sunday, it’s taking Daddy Kiki back to the airport. I’m hoping that I can connect with The Cop before I make the long drive back to Lansing. That way I can repay him in person for all his hard work.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 

My daddy makes me laugh

This was the second email I received from him this morning:

I just saw something in my office that was ugly and nasty. This old
lady who works in another section of our office had thong panties on.
The ugly and nasty part of it is that she is about 57 maybe 60 years old and
she has a fat behind. I could not believe what I just saw and I'm still
in shock.

I hope his day gets better!

Saturday, August 13, 2005 

Here we go again

I guess we’re trying to do things all over again. It’s fun. And scary. Because in the back of my mind, I’m always scared that just when things are going really well, something bad will happen and he’ll disappear again.

I forgot that he’s a vegetarian. And this year he gave up chicken. Next year he’s giving up fish. He’s gonna stop eating things with faces. Which is good for him. Me, I’ll stick to my bloody steaks and crisp bacon.

We had a proper date on Friday night. We took the motorcycle out and went to Best Buy and then to a pizza place for dinner. After that we went down to Royal Oak and got some gelato for dessert. We sat outside on a bench with his arm around me eating gelato and watching the folks pass by; making fun of people with bad outfits. Then he suggested we go to Pronto (which is like the Royal Oak gay restaurant/bar/corner gourmet shop) for top shelf martinis. I like that he’s secure enough to suggest going to a gay spot because he knows the martinis are good there and I like the place. Of course, being a gay patron hag, the gay boys loved me and my outfit and remarked loudly as we walked out of the shop to go home. I was really comfortable being out with him. First off cause I made him clean up (or as I remarked, “The gays won’t let you into Pronto with holey jeans. Their rules not mine. I swear.”), and it was so natural being out with him. I have to admit that with some guys I’m a little uneasy about being out in public with. What a disgrace! A black girl and a white guy! I always wonder what black guys are thinking when they see me out with a white guy. I think of the Chris Rock sketch, “Well, he’s successful now, next thing he’s gotta go out and do is get him a white girl.” I didn’t let him hold my hand. I’m not really a hand holder. I might sleep with you on the first date, but hand holding shouldn’t be taken so lightly!

It’s weird dating someone you’ve dated before. Like I’ve forgotten some things, like that he’s a vegetarian and doesn’t wear leather. So it’s like I’m relearning things and also learning new things all at the same time. I delayed my hair appointment twice this morning cause I was having such a nice time asking him silly/personal questions to get his response and learn just a little more about him. So it’s like things are back to normal. I’m working really hard not to screw this up. Not that it was my fault that he left the first time, but I want to make sure it’s not the reason he’ll leave this time. He notices how bossy I am. I’m just so used to doing things on my own and my way. It is nice to have a man take charge sometimes. So I’m working really really hard (and if you know Mama Kiki, it’s a struggle) not to be bossy.

P.S. The Cop doesn’t have a garage. So, his neighbor lets him park all his toys in her garage. When we parked the bike, he showed me his other bike that is bigger and faster (which I totally forgot he had) as well as his Cherry Red Limited Edition Corvette that he strokes with a diaper and doesn’t let see the light of day. I knew about the ‘Vette that he usually drives, but was totally unaware of the LE stick shift ‘Vette. He gained a couple hundred brownie points with that revelation alone. And if he ever let me drive the LE 'Vette like he let me drive his othe 'Vette, I might just consider letting him hold my hand.

Thursday, August 11, 2005 


This was my dream:

A cop pulled me over and gave me a breathalyzer. I think I passed it.

Then the next day, I was at a party with some friends. We were outdoors near a pool. I saw the same exact cop. He was very young, medium height, skinny, with blonde hair. I was kinda flirting with him and I thought I was hitting it off with him. Although I was nowhere near a motor vehicle, he still wanted to give me a breathalyzer. I was a bit concerned by this because I was definitely drunk over the limit. I tried to tell him that I didn’t plan on driving, that I was simply hanging out by the pool, but he told me he still had to give me a breathalyzer. So I followed him outside the pool party.

The next thing I know I’m on a train. There were only two cars to the train, and the door between the two trains was open. The cop was still there, but he was relaxing with some of my friends in my car of the train. I knew people in both cars; however, the cars were divided by race. There were only white people on one car, and myself and some of my friends (black, Hispanic that I could remember) were on the other car. Well some of the people on my car started singing a song. From all I could remember it seems like it was a Mexican folk song. Well everyone on my car knew the song so we all started singing along (well, not the cop. He was on my car, but didn’t know the song). When we finished the song, the kids on the other car started singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ at the top of their lungs, kinda mocking the ethnic car. I lost it. I remember going into the other car and telling the white kids that they have no idea what it’s like to be in a minority group. That although I wasn’t Hispanic, that I knew more of what it was like to be Hispanic than any of the white kids. That the white kids didn’t have to worry about being judged or being better than others or having to prove themselves. I was really shouting. And then I woke up.

I don’t know what prompted this dream. I thought things were going well with me. I haven’t had a run in with folks who would make me think that way, and I didn’t even watch TV last night, so I’m not sure what prompted it. I know why I dreamed about a cop. I talked to The Cop last night (although he’s not skinny and blonde). Anyway, I thought I’d share. If you have any interpretations, feel free to pass them along.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005 

My Day has been like a 1980s Soap Drama

Today has been quite a day.

I had an excellent run last night. And I think I might have eaten less than 700 calories. For those that don’t know, I’m back on my 700 calorie/day diet. We’re gonna see how long it lasts. So far, 3 days. I get to cheat on Sat and Sunday and eat whatever I like, but during the week, I can only eat 700 calories. It’s really not that hard, and you really get to see what you put into your body on a daily basis. I’m basically surviving on chocolate milk, water, and fruit. I wanted to go in to work naked today because after 3 days of this diet, I’m looking nice and lean. Which helps since I’ll see The Cop this weekend.

Anyway, I’m a little pissed off. I got a note from my apartment stating that I owe $407.34 for the 18 days in September since I move out on August 28. Apparently, the lease I signed ends on September 19. Let me tell you why I’m pissed.

When I moved to Mason, I asked for an apartment bigger than my apartment in Royal Oak. I was shown an apartment and was told it was 820 sq. feet. However, after I signed the lease (on August 28, 2004) I realized that they tricked me and it was in fact a 760 sq ft apartment. Now, it really didn’t matter. However, the bigger apartment had a walk in closet whereas the smaller apartment had a matchbox for a closet. And you know Kiki has a ton of shoes so the smaller apartment wouldn’t work. I asked to be transferred to a bigger apartment, and they obliged, but they had me bring in my old lease and they destroyed both. So then I signed a new lease. From September 2005 – September 2006. Of course, I didn’t know this would be a problem back then because I didn’t know that I’d even be looking for a house within six months. So now I’m trying to convince my apartments that I shouldn’t have to pay the $400 because they were the ones who misled me in the first place by trying to put me in a smaller apartment. And, it’s not like I can’t afford the $400. Well, it is actually. I have money ear marked and set aside for different things for The Dungeon already. I really don’t want to take $400 out of the budget for something that’s not justifiable. We’ll see how this plays out.

So I was all disappointed this morning. I didn’t tell Daddy Kiki about the situation because I wanted to handle it myself. So instead I threw my remote control against a wall and watched it shatter into pieces. Because that’s both destructive and dramatic. Then I freaked out cause the remote didn’t work and I’d be hell pressed to change the channels on my TV without a remote, so I fixed the remote and called Daddy Kiki. Y’all just don’t understand what a great parent he is. I told him that I didn’t call for his advice cause I’m trying to be a big girl and do things on my own, and he calmly explained to me that even though he’s going on 53, he still doesn’t know everything and sometimes he has to ask for help/advice. So, a girl in her early 20s is always supposed to ask for help. He gave me some pointers on how to handle the situation to get out of paying the $400.

So that’s my story. I’m sure I’ll share what happens.

Thanks to everyone for posting comments. I like to know that people are reading and I love hearing what y’all have to say.

Monday, August 08, 2005 

Are you Ready for Some Football?

I didn't work at the PTJ tonight. I'm getting burned out. However, I was pleasently surprised to see that Monday Night Football is back for the season. I'm a happy camper.

I spent Saturday moving into The Dungeon on Saturday. I got two car loads of stuff over there. I was bored Saturday night so I started unpacking boxes as well. Even though I have two full car loads of my stuff in The Dungeon, my apartment doesn't seem empty at all.

On Sunday, Theresa invited me down to Adrian to spend time hanging out and having dinner. It was a lot of fun. Her parents were cool and I met her dog, Sophie. It was a realy chill time. Which doesn't explain why I was so not into work today. It was just a bad Monday. Oh well, I'll get over it.

Happy Birthday Kipper, Tiffy, & Roomie. Welcome back to the States, Tiffy. Safe travels to NC, Roomie!

Thursday, August 04, 2005 

Happy Birthday, Kipper

So today is my dear Kipper’s birthday (and also Tiffy’s birthday) and I have been asked to write a piece about Kipper. It will be in list form as I am a stream of consciousness person.

-“Why do I smell Bar-b-Q? Who’s cooking in my house?” Indeed no one was cooking. Someone set themselves on fire at my first apartment. Which in turn ruined Kipper’s chances to hook up with him.

-Running around my apartment building in our underwear while it was raining. For no particular reason

-The hole

-Soft Core porn video made in my dorm room

-Anyone who’s favorite movie is Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure…

-Game night. That only took place once. Because between the two of us, we don’t have enough friends to play a board game

-Cleveland and the Mariah Carey concert for your birthday 2003 and we went to the bar after the concert and people we actually asleep at the bar

-Repeatedly hitting Toothy with your class ring. By the way, where is that class ring?

-Memorial Day 2003 and doing slave labor for Sissy after being drunk the night before in Chicago…where I had my toes sucked

-My birthday 2003 where you hooked up in my bed with someone during my party. And I had no one to hook up with

-The creation of Cot and Blanket Man, Pity Party Man, and Chips and Salsa Man

-My last home game, Rutgers 2002 and eating the marshmallows I was supposed to throw during ½ time.

-ND v. MSU at MSU 2002. The death of The Green Beast, The Drive in The Alumni Van, Kates and Kristen being molested by scary older men, being together for a full two days and not killing each other


-The first time I met you in LaFun with Catalina when I was on that bad date

-Any random afternoon at The Palace taking pills with wine/beer/tiny shots of flavored Vodka

-Lunch break from the Alumni office and KPD to watch Conan at The Palace

-My first W&G episode with you at Turtle Creek…”You really screwed me, Will Truman.” You slept on the couch and I slept in your bed.

-making fun of Desi by email at KPD

-video at Boat Club, the ‘Backer, and later Truman’s where you revealed my deepest secrets to the entire parking lot of The ‘Backer…on videotape

-That awesome pic of the Toothy, Kipper, ‘Rika sandwich

-That time at Truman’s with the man with the Puppet

-Rum Runners and $0.75 well drinks on Wednesdays…Loverboy you’ve got the best of me

-Our longest most serious hour discussion about the female reproductive cycle

-Screaming Whitney songs at the top of our lungs at The Palace

-Watching the ‘Crack is Whack’ footage over and over and over and over

-That time at Truman’s when you wore Kates’ bra

-That time I was drunk in your bed and you left to sleep on the couch cause you were afraid I’d wake up and talk to you

-The Flip Side Meijer Game where we showed up drunk, decided the Flip Side event was lame and then begged random ND shoppers to take us back to campus. Luckily Marriage Material came to our rescue.

-When you bought Everclear for me at the liquor store for my 21st birthday and the clerk was afraid I was gonna get raped

-The night at Roscoe’s where we picked up the Sailors and ended up at a lesbian bar

-Our patented club that has beds and only plays diva music...Celine, Whit, Mariah, Kylie

-Shut up and take it…how many Long Islands did you have that night at Friday’s?

-Why were we at Roscoe’s that afternoon where we met Cory Kelly and I stole some cups?

-going to that dealership and telling the salesman we were engaged and we weren’t going to buy a car until your trust fund opened up
-Halloween 2003 in Detroit and the Sperm Donor costume. complete with business cards

-Me having to drive to Stars for fear someone would recognize your vehicle. And then being too chicken to go inside.

-Stealing keys at The Library and house sitting for Daddy Chuck and walking Irish

-That time in Detroit where we met the girl at the restaurant in Birmingham who fell over and toppled her entire party’s table in the middle of the afternoon. And how we thought they were a riot and we followed them back to their place where they smoked weed and we entertained with the ENTIRE Rent libretto.

-New Years 2003 with Brenda and ending up at the lesbian bar (or the night that didn’t happen)

-When we went to Hooters in the afternoon on a weekday and it was packed!

-mini quiche

-interspecies beach….I come from the SSSSEEEEEAAAA

-when keeping it real goes wrong

Kipper, through it all I’ve held you hand, you’ve cried on my shoulder. We’ve shared our thoughts and fears. We have an everlasting bond that will never break.


Whatever. We share practically nothing until after the fact. Since we don’t possess emotions, neither one of us has cried since the War of 1812, and we’d sell each other down the river for a shiny object (double time if the shiny object also shows our reflection). Honey you’re driving the bus to hell and I’m proud to be a passenger. Happy Birthday, Poodle. You’re simple, you’re shallow, and you’re a common whore. That’s why we’re soul mates.

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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