Friday, March 31, 2006 

The Designer

I really like my blog. When people post comments I usually reread my entry and laugh out loud. Not because I’m an exceptional writer or anything, but just because the things I think and say make me chuckle. Damn, I’m vain.

So I haven’t talked too much about my potential date with the Designer this weekend. (Oh, we’re gonna come up with a nickname for the Designer after my date with him. I don’t think I want to label him by his profession.) For those of you keeping track at home, the Designer is a guy I met at the Auto Show back in January and he just took the time to call me last week. He designs cars for a living.

Anyway, I’m not going into this date with a lot of confidence. We’ve talked on the phone twice already and the conversation seems to be a bit strained. Take for instance last night. He called me and he told me he was watching a Primetime special on torture. And he was telling me how awful torture is. Now, I’m being completely serious when I say I have no problem with torture. I’m more of a fan of psychological torture rather than physical torture. I think physical torture is barbaric. And I told him this. I think he was a bit shocked by my answer and gave me the following scenario: What if I had a Muslim friend and the government was watching me and they saw that I went to mosque with said friend and did some volunteer activities with the mosque. The government then deduced that I was a terrorist and applied torture methods on me. I responded that I thought his scenario contained a lot of holes. I don’t think anyone should be tortured just because they explore new religions. I told him the key to whether we should torture or not should be linked to solid intelligence. If you’re 99.9% sure that someone is engaging in illegal activities, then yes, torture away. But if you’re just going on speculation, you need to gather better intelligence first. Because his argument wasn’t solid or well thought out, I fear that he might be dumb.

Later in the conversation he told me that he couldn’t meet me for coffee on Saturday because his friend is throwing a birthday party for his girlfriend. He immediately asked if we could meet on Sunday. I told him it wasn’t a problem. He said he’s really worried about his friend because his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s parents are really pressuring this guy to marry this chica. I squirmed uncomfortably. I felt bad for the guy. No one should be pressured or tricked into marrying someone else. I asked the Designer what his thoughts were. He said that he too felt bad for his friend. He was pretty sure that his friend was going to propose this Saturday as he already bought a ring; however, his friend was real nervous about the situation.

His phone cut off while we were in the middle of talking about something. I thought he would call me back. He didn’t. I called him right before I went to bed and he told me that he now has a prepaid phone because of an $800 dispute he’s having with Verizon. I’m not going into the details because they are boring, but he ended by telling me that he’s put a call in to the local news ‘action team’ to see if they can get some resolution for him. I’m sure your town has an ‘action team’ on your news station. It’s always entertaining when they’re chasing people down and folks are cussing at the reporters. Looks like the Designer wants to get caught up in one of those situations to get his bill fixed. Classy. Gosh, it’s like the crazies just flock to me.

I don’t know how I feel about the Designer. He seems like a simple man. I don’t get a flutter in my tummy when I talk to him. He does play sports (soccer & basketball) so I’m sure he’s hot and in shape. I’m thinking things aren’t going to go well. I’m not trying to be negative, just realistic. I’ll check in after Sunday and let you know how it went.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 


A few things:

1) Happy Anniversary to me. Sista sLedge.r is one year old! I can’t believe I started this a year ago. I wish I had something meaningful to say, but I don’t. Maybe it’ll come later.

2) I’m calling my Insurance company. I’m outraged. OUTRAGED, I tell you. I stopped in to the pharmacy to pick up my monthly supply of
poison. The total was $40! It’s usually around the $38 amount. I wanted to know why it had increased $2. Apparently the drug costs $40.83 and my current insurance company is generously picking up the extra $0.83. I was more outraged when I started this job. At my old job, my same poison costs $15, so I was a little miffed that my new insurance company covered less. Anyway, I asked the very nice pharmacist why my poison reached the $40 mark this month. She told me that the insurance company could have adjusted the cost of the product so to encourage me to take a more traditional poison like the pill. No way! I can’t remember how I get to work most mornings. You think I’m gonna remember something as complicated as taking a pill every day at the same time? So I’ve decided to call the insurance company later on in the day to see if we can get this worked out. Now I know why Daddy Kiki is so adamant on staying healthy. Could you imagine having 10 prescriptions to take at $40 each /month. That adds up. I’m glad that Daddy Kiki only has to take one type of pill and I’m also glad that I’m not old. Or grey. Or wrinkly.

Saturday, March 25, 2006 

Money Money!

Horray! Uncle Sam came through and magically deposited money in my account last night! So I've spent the morning deciding how to spend it. A portion is going to pay off my appliances that I bought for The Dungeon, a portion of it is going to pay off my credit card, and a portion is going to savings. I know. I'm a wild spender.

So now that my credit card is all paid off, I can now repair the huge crack that is in my windshield (which, I admit, I'm growing quite accustomed to), sign up for my summer golf lessons, and buy my golf clubs! Now if only there wasn't snow on the ground, I could actually get excited about Spring! *sigh*

But to treat myself, I've decided to go out and buy Prince's new album. And then come back to The Dungeon and clean. Somebody stop me before I have too much fun!

Friday, March 24, 2006 

We should be all caught up now!

This issue was on the Today show this morning as well. Seems like Texas is cracking down on drinking. In bars. Read the story and I'm sure you'll be as amazed as I am.

First of all, I can't believe that this is actually legal. As a bar is a public place, you can be arrested for public intoxication in a bar. I see the TABC's point. They want to crack down on drunk driving. Lord knows Texas has it's fair share of drunk driving incidents. But to arrest people who are having a good time in a bar and haven't yet made it out to the parking lot seems a bit over the top. I hope all the publicity this story is getting makes the TABC calm down and leave the Texas drinkers alone!


It's Over

Written 3/23

I’ve decided it’s over with THM. He doesn’t know that and I didn’t tell him. It’s just a decision I made. Well, it’s over with him until golf season. I need someone good to play with.

He really is a good man. I told him I was going to be in town last night and I told him where I was staying. Like a good boy, he planned accordingly and even ate dinner by himself at a place quite close to where I was staying so he could meet me as soon as I was done.

It’s a different situation with THM. I don’t ‘like’ him, but I do enjoy being around him and I like his company. I don’t think there will be any hard feelings between the two of us now that I’ve decided to bring things to a halt. We’ll just pick up where we left off a couple months down the road.


Today Was Christmas for Me

This was originally written on 3/22. Bear with me, kids!

I hit the freaking goldmine today!

First, bossman said I looked nice. That could be because I come into work looking like a crackwhore most days. Today I had to decency to put on a suit. I do clean up nicely.

Second, I had to cancel some reservations after bitching to the manager the day before. I was able to cancel and everyone was nice to me. Probably because they now fear me.

Third, I called THM for our rendezvous tonight in Detroit and he said he was still up for it. I think this is the end of THM and me for a while. I decided that long ago. It was later confirmed when…..

Fourth, a boy called me! Listen kids, this is serious stuff for me. I haven’t had a boy interested in me in a long time. He called me at work. I was really thrown off because I rarely give out my business card to potential suitors. The secretary told me I had a call and she was suspicious because it sounded like he was on a cell phone. I was suspicious too and immediately thought it was Kipper. He sometimes likes to call into the office and pretend like he’s my doctor and tell them that the results from my AIDS test is in. Because he thinks it’s fun to spread rumors about me.

Anyway, I answer the phone and the guy seemed to know me. I had to ask him again who he was because I had no idea. Turns out he’s a guy I met in January at the Auto Show. He worked for a car company and we got in a discussion about why US Autos aren’t doing so well. I thought he was cute and interesting so I gave him my card and told him to call me if he ever wanted to discuss the issue further. Well, he called today. We had a nice chat. I was so nervous because I never take personal calls at work. Plus, the walls in our office are paper thin, and even with my door closed, I knew people could hear our conversation.

He asked me if I was single, how old I am, what I did for a living. He was very interested in my work. He told me he was 32 (yes! He made the cut!), and was a designer. Like he designs what cars should look like. So he’s a creative type. I don’t know how I feel about that. I gave him my cell phone number and cleverly told him that if he’d like to talk to me outside the hours of 8-5 to give me a call on my cell. I didn’t ask for his number. I don’t want to stress about whether or not to call him. Remember, this is the new Kiki. She doesn’t go to men. The men come to her!


I'm back, Bitches!

I learned a valuable lesson this month: Don't fuck with SBC!

I finally got my highspeed internet in January. Therefore I didn't get the bill for my internet till last month. The bill was about $150 so I decided to pay $50. Hey, a little is better than nothing! SBC did not think so. So they shut me off. Thus no blog entries. But I paid the remaining balance today and SBC and I are on speaking terms again. I hope it's not too confusing because although I was unable to post, I still blogged. So hopefully I can post them from the days I originally blogged them.

Sunday, March 19, 2006 

St. Patty's 2006

One of the best holidays of the year has come and gone and I had an awesome time.

It started Friday at work. I was trying to decide what to do. I thought about going to EL to party. Not only were the kids back from Spring Break, but the MSU basketball game would be playing too. So, the bars were gonna be packed. I planned on taking a cab to the bars. I felt that Karma was working against me and the last thing I need in my life is a DUI. Trouble is, a cab ride to downtown is about $15 from my house. Each way. I didn't know if it was worth paying $15 to get to the bars in EL. Unsure of what to do, I consulted T. She mentioned she was going to a party in Ann Arbor with some ND girls (who I didn't know) and got permission to invite me along. And that's where my adventure begins.

It was a really great time. I met both of T's friends and they were really cool. I have to say that's a cool thing about ND. No matter who you are, even if you haven't met before, people are generally nice. So we drove down to Ave Maria law school to the party. It was a good time. There was a keg and jello shots. I also was not the only black person at the party! I met a law school couple who were a hoot and to pass the time we stood in the hall outside the bathroom and timed people to see if they washed their hands after they finished. And if we thought they didn't, we told them so. Loudly. While watching the bathroom, I ran into an ND guy who I worked with on a couple of clubs at school. He graduated a year before me. How random! I'm telling you, ND people are EVERYWHERE! Only I could go to a party in Ann Arbor (that I wasn't even originally invited to) and find an ND person who I actually knew.

So we ended up staying at the party till the very end. I wanted to leave early and hit the Ann Arbor bars, but our hostess was a bit too intoxicated to drive so we stayed longer so she chold sober up. In the interim, T and I found a corner to sit and observe. At that moment, an odd looking boy approached. He talked with a bit of an accent that sounded fake and he told me that he was an Italian dancer in Law school and he was from my hometown. At first I thought he would be a good person to talk to so I asked him what HS he went to. He told me and I told him my school. He acted like he never heard of my school before. I knew he was a fake. So I decided to ignore him. He wasn't attractive anyway. He left and came back a bit later. He sat down beside me and asked me if I thought T would give him her number. I told him to ask her himself. He was really bothering me now. He said that he was shy and I told him to get over it.

Not to be outdone, the annoying boy left, and came back a THIRD time. This time he sat next to T. I don't remember what he asked her or what he was talking about, but I remember looking him straight in the face and saying, "Why are you still here? Go AWAY!" It might have been rude, but he deserved it.

So that was my St. Patty's day. It was a ton of fun. I had corned beef and cabbage, I had beer, I had green jello shots. Just as St. Patrick would have wanted it.

Friday, March 17, 2006 

Actually, Karma is a Bitch too. I should watch out!

I got drunk last night. It started innocently enough. I went to a dinner function, had a cocktail, had a glass of wine, went home. But I had that feeling when I got home that I wanted to drink some more. I was happy being intoxicated, and I wanted more! This, of course, is the first sign of alcoholism.

So I finished off the bottle of wine I started a couple days ago. And I called Creepy Massage Guy. I don't think you've heard the backstory of CMG. To put it very shortly, we went bowling a few years ago, he bought two pitchers of beer and two games of bowling, he went back to my house where he gave me a massage and I fell asleep. I promptly kicked him out at 6A. The next day I got a four page email saying how I was such a bad person to not pay for any of the date and then to kick him out so early. I know. I pick 'em real good!

So anyway, I called CMG last night because I was drunk, feeling lonely, and let's face it, the guy is a massause. I wanted a free massage!

He comes over and I pretend that I'm much drunker than I am. I tell him that I want a massage and lie down on the floor. He tends to talk too much so I told him I was trying to concentrate and shut him up. And then I pulled a classic jerk move. I convinced him to do something to me so that he would think he would in turn get retribution from me. Sucker. Everyone knows Kiki isn't the giving type.

After my massage and my 'happy ending' I got up and told him it was getting late. He needed to leave. Just like that. I could see the hurt in his face. He had been played by me - twice. I showed him the door.

You know all those times a guy has treated you like shit and seems to have no remorse for his actions? Payback is a bitch.

Thursday, March 16, 2006 

Winn Dixie

I officially have something to live for again. No it's not a man. No it's not something new at the job. The date I am currently living for and looking forward to is May 23, 2006. And why? Because that's the date that The Chicks release their new album. And I'm excited. I've just extended my life expecetancy 2 months! Go Me!


I'm drunk. That's a good title.

I have a weird obsession about throwing things away. I’m a bit of a pack rat, but I love the feeling I get when I throw things away. I’m the type of person who keeps junk mail for days on end. I let it accumulate on the coffee table, the kitchen counter, the floor. And then, in an afternoon of cleaning fury, I like to throw it all away! This morning, before work, I cleaned out my fridge. Now, the only think I have in my fridge are condiments, four beers, a package of corn tortillas, and a block of Colby cheese. I like how empty it is inside.

I do the same thing at work. Every morning I like to come in and clean off my desk of all the clutter. This usually involves throwing away a ton of paper. It seems I can’t begin my day without throwing something away. I like the thrill of feeling that everything is tidy and ready for a new day!

That’s all. Nothing more.

I found
this today. It was a good read.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 

Calling in Sick

My intern didn’t show up today. I was mildly displeased. But that doesn’t matter. This is what matters: how you call in to work sick.

Now granted, my intern doesn’t have a ton to do at the office. I can see why she gets bored some of the time. However, that’s also why you don’t pay interns. My intern was on Spring Break last week. I think she went to Cancun or somewhere. Anyway, she called in today and gave me this long story about getting avian flu on the plane and how she didn’t feel well, but she thinks she’ll be better tomorrow.

Now we get to Kiki’s method of calling in sick. I pick up the phone. I tell whoever answers that I’m not going to be in. I tell them to call me on my cell if they need me. I hang up. No unnecessary explanations. No concocted stories about illness, sorrow, or death. I’m sure everyone in the office understands I don’t possess human emotions and I don’t get sick, so people just let me call in sick for whatever reason and that’s that. Plus, I’m always at the office. I hardly ever take days off.

With that being said, I simply didn’t care why my intern wasn’t going to be out today. I didn’t care if she got sick on the plane, if she was still held up in Cancun, or whether ravenous ants were digesting her body as we spoke on the phone. All I know is that she wasn’t going to be in today. And I had to actually do my own work.

Monday, March 13, 2006 

A Little Help

I need a little help from you, dear readers. I'd like to know what you're listening to now. I feel like i'm in a musical funk right now. Nothing I listen to is what I want to listen to. Right now I'm listening to iTunes Radio. Alt/Modern Rock. I thought I wanted to hear some good indie. I haven't found it yet.

Tell me what to listen to.


Good Job, Kiki

How do I reward myself after a great workout with my favorite fitness guru, Denise Austin? With a glass of red wine, of course. Denise would be so proud!

Friday, March 10, 2006 

The Return of Smitty

We talked for a full two hours. In that two hour time period I realized why I both liked (I won’t admit to love) and hated Smitty.

We hadn’t talked for 2 years. I almost did recognize who he was when I picked up the phone. True to form, it was 7P on a Friday night and he was at his desk at work. The life of an Executive. He said it himself. He hates his job but loves getting paid. Even after we hung up at 9, I’m sure he’d still be at the office for at least another hour. He was reading and replying to emails as we chatted. He had me on speaker phone. How romantic. Now I remembered why I hated him.

It started out nicely. We just caught up. I told him about the job, and school and The Dungeon. How I’m happy to be a homeowner. He told me about a girl he dated a while back. They dated for 5 months. He broke up with her because she wanted to get married. I asked how old she was. 31. Yeah, a lot of 31 year old women want to get married. I asked him how old he was now. 34. I was 21 when we started dating. He forgot to call me on my 22nd birthday.

It’s easy to get sucked back in. His voice is amazing. A mix of weariness, exhaustion, playfulness, and a bit of pent up frustration. The good frustration. The kind of frustration that won’t let you wait till you get home, and you end up fucking in the car in a vodka induced blur.

And then we talked about sex. I told him about the roster and how he’s not on it. I told him about THM. About how I don’t need any because I’m getting some. I told him that I’m in charge and calling the shots now. He didn’t believe me. He asked if I’d been to Vickie’s lately. I told him I had. I lied. He asked what’s my favorite recent purchase from Vickies. I told him the turquoise cami and boyshorts (thongs are over). He asked me what else. I refused to tell him. Remember, I’m in charge. He actually begs. He says please. I’m liking this control. He said that he wants me to wear it when he sees me next. I told him no. He asked why. I told him he doesn’t deserve for me to do anything that he asks. He thinks this is foreplay. He doesn’t realize that I’m serious. I realize again why I hate him.

I curtly told him that unless he wants to talk about something other than how good the sex was when we were together, he could say goodnight there and then. Goodnight, he said. Goodnight, I said. Wait! Before you hang up! What? I’m really sorry about not calling two weeks ago. For a minute, I almost believe him. His voice isn’t playful anymore. He really sounds sincere. Are you coming tomorrow, I ask? Of course he’s not. He asks if I’m free on the 18th. I tell him that I’ve lost faith in him. He can come on the 18th if he likes, and then we’ll see if I’m available. He promises that he’ll come, and he tells me to wear some new Vickies.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 

Yanni Smacks his Bitch Up and 3 6 Mafia Wins an Oscar. The world is upside down.

I’m in a weird mood today.

On the one hand I want to go outside and frolic. On the other hand, I want to curl up on the couch and listen to music all night.

Smitty emailed me today. Actually he emailed me yesterday and told me he was sorry for never responding to our tentative date. I chose to ignore him. I’m getting ass on a regular basis now. I don’t need to respond to him. So, uncharacteristically, he emailed me again today. Hmm…someone’s desperate. Well honey, if you don’t respond to me until 2 weeks after the fact, I have no reason to respond to you. I’m gonna wait till Thursday to get back to him.

I just found out today that I might not have to go to Detroit to volunteer this weekend. Yay! No need to get up at 630 on a Saturday. Boo! I won’t get to see THM unless I make the effort to see him on my own. Hot Damn! I’m doing it again. I’m doing the exact thing I told myself I would stop doing. Making myself available for a man. Ok. Fine. I won’t see THM today. Why waste my gas. There are plenty of things I can do to occupy myself in Lansing this weekend. I can go downstairs to my bedroom and watch Season 1 of The Cosby Show! OR I could watch Season 1 of The Cosby Show upstairs on the couch! So many choices. We’ll see what happens within the week to decide my weekend fate.

Monday, March 06, 2006 

I’m feeling good today. In that evil sort of way.

I finally read the email that Jebediah sent me after I blew him off. Basically he said that he dropped everything for me to drive from Grand Rapids to Lansing to meet me. And because I conveniently didn’t reply to his email until after he was on the road and more than half way to me, he wasted both his time and his gas. Hooray!

His email went on to say that I probably treated him this way because I was hurt in the past and I’m probably insecure about men. And, he hopes that in the future, I will be more courteous and respectful. He went on to say that because I treated him the way I did, he will probably not be so accommodating to women in the future. Oh, and he said that he was intending to buy me roses (so blasé!) but he’s glad that he didn’t now because I hurt him.

So see, I really did crush his spirits. That makes me feel good. What a way to start my week!

Sunday, March 05, 2006 

Another blog about the comments

Sorry. This is boring. There's a new post below.

Ok, I'm still working out the kinks with the comments. For some reason blogger isn't telling me when people post comments. So bear with me if you don't see your comment immediately.

And Kat, I don't like fish. Which restaurant did he suggest? Mitchell's FISH Market. (Although I did go there anyway by myself and had a Caesar salad. Which is fine when I'm by myself. Not when I'm on a date with a man who will pay big $$ for my meal!)


I ran out of money being generous to a boy this weekend

Lansing continues to depress me. I was supposed to go out with Jebediah on Friday night. He had some type of work emergency so he cancelled. Whatever. I'm sick of reading his long ass emails so I blew him off. A real player would have continued a bit longer to make sure his spirits were successfully crushed, but I was getting irritated with him. So I ended it before it even started.

So, I decided to take myself out on Friday night. I showered, shaved, changed outfits 11 times, and headed out. My first stop was Troppo's. I was going to sit at the bar and have a strong martini and a salad. However, the bar was full. So I headed over to The Exchange, but saw the caliber of people going into the bar and decided it wasn't the place for me. I ended up at Mitchell's Fish Market. I had a nice time by myself there but I was still disappointed. In any other city that I've been in, a single girl at the bar was marked. Even if the man was unattractive, there would be SOMEONE trying to come on to me. Not so in Lansing. As I was telling THM this story this weekend, I complained that at least in Detroit, even if the hottie at the bar didn't make his way over to me, at least I'd have some eye candy to keep me company as I finished my drink. He laughed at me. "You really hate Lansing, don't you?" I do!

Saturday I got my hair did and called THM. He mentioned that his dad was coming over this weekend to help him get started on his house remodel. Therefore, I made a list of things to do by myself in Windsor, thining THM would be busy. Turns out he was waiting for my call. I went over to his place where we (he) decided he was hungry and wanted to go to brunch. He decided on Detroit's Breakfast House & Grill. How was it? Forgetable. We waited for over an hour for a table, and then the food was just normal. Nothing really jumped out from the menu. I ended up having the chicken and waffles and THM had the banana nut waffles. Anyway, since THM is currently unemployed (he's a freelancer, so he works when he can get it) I was feeling generous and paid the bill when he was in the bathroom. And how much was our so so brunch for 2? Nearly $60. Hot Shit! I wasn't too disappointed about it. I was just hoping I had enough in my checking account to cover such a lavish brunch.

So THM and I head back to his place where we watch a couple of basketball games. He really made out that day. Not only did I buy his brunch, but his sister called and wanted to take him to dinner. I did learn something yesterday, though. It's not a good idea to fool around on a full tummy. Why? Because things don't work. So after about 45 minutes of fruitless efforts, THM and I decided the best thing to do was just nap and digest. He did show off his chest hair to me. Yes, that's chest hair, singular. He's not aware that I call him THM (The Hairless Man) but I always make mention of how soft he is. So he showed me his one chest hair. I was utterly impressed and I told him it's what makes him a man.

I left pretty early so he could go get his second free meal ofthe day. He did thank me profusely for picking up his meal. It made me feel good. Makes me feel like I'm in control and calling the shots. Because now that I've done something generous for him he owes me. And you know how I feel about being in charge.

And guess who decided to call me after I had gotten back to Lansing and settled in? Hot Bod. He wanted to know if I wanted to hang out. That man has the worst timing ever. As Kipper pointed out, I could have had a twofer if Hot Bod caught me while I was still in town. Oh well, there's always next weekend.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006 


Hi Kids. Just a quick note. I finally figured out why some of y'all's (yes, that's the correct spelling) comments aren't being posted. It's because the 'Anonymous' posts get shuffled to another land and I can't publish them quickly. So, if you want, you can sign up with a blogger ID and comment away. Otherwise, please don't be mad if it takes me a couple of days to approve your comments.

Now, enjoy!


Just about ready to set fire to myself

I think the title explains it all. I’m still talking to Jebediah. We’ve made plans to go out on Friday night. I don’t think I’ll survive till then. Seriously.

So he sends me an email asking me if I prefer Chinese or Steak, and asking if I wanted to go skating after dinner. I replied back letting him know that I’m a steak girl, true to my Texas roots, and I wouldn’t mind going skating. However, in my mind, I’m questioning how elaborate this date is. The last date I went on I got wasted off wine, I ended up at a strip club where I left my date and went home. So a dinner and skating date seems very Middle School to me. Whatever. I’ll try anything once.

So Jeb is all excited about going skating. He tells me that he’s ‘part Texan’ as well as his ‘granddad’ was from Texas, and he can’t wait to go roller skating. There are so many things wrong with his email.

First, and most importantly: He is NOT ‘part Texan.’ Texan is not a race. Like someone is part black or part Hispanic. Texan is a nationality. In order to claim you are a Texan, you either have to be born in Texas or have resided in Texas for more than 20 years. Those are the rules. I don’t make this stuff up. And Texans don’t like for others to lightly imply that they are from our great State.

Second: Roller Skating? Are we back in 1976 and in the 8th grade? Now granted, I have to give him points for creativity. However, I thought he meant ice skating at first as his initial email to me included a picture of two figure skaters, and he constantly referred to ‘blades.’ Also, roller skating rinks are breeding grounds for germs as small children and ruffian teenagers like to hang out there. No respectable 40 y/o man goes to the roller skating rink with a date. Unless they are both drunk and high. And are willing to shove young children. And are drunk and high.

AND….roller skating is nasty. I once went bowling with the massage guy in Mason. And the shoe sanitizer they used was an off brand air freshener. An AIR FRESHENER to SANATIZE SHOES! There’s no way in hell I’m putting my foot in some nasty shoe that hasn’t been properly sanitized.

So I’m dreading my date on Friday with Jebediah. I’m only going through with it because I want a steak dinner and I feel that I have to finish what I started. I started the job of breaking his spirits, and gosh darn I’m gonna complete that task.

Updated: Because this was just way too good….
So if you know Mama Kiki, there is a particular food that I REFUSE to eat. I have had it on many occasions, and I don’t like the taste of it. So, of course I was stunned to see in my inbox that Jebediah had chosen a restaurant that SPECIALIZES in the ONE FOOD that I don’t eat

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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