In all reality I am an idiot
I’m not really trying to disparage myself. I’ve put that title up there for a reason.
It’s 5P on Friday. I still haven’t heard from Smitty. Am I disappointed? Not really. I had a feeling he’d be a no show, so somewhere in the back of my mind I was expecting it. I decided not to email him and ask him what’s going on because I really don’t care. And I don’t want to put myself in the position of caring. Right now there is no man that I’m caring about in my life and I actually feel free to focus on things that are making me happy.
I was going to go to Canada (Windsor) this weekend to have lunch at one of the swanky restaurants in the Casino, but I ran out of money, so I nixed that plan. I guess I’ll just go to the gym after volunteering and then go home. I may go and see Brokeback in East Lansing on Sunday. We’ll see.
I’m behaving surprisingly well with THM. Anyone who knows me intimately knows I’m a sucker for instant gratification. Once I meet a man I want to sleep with him, go steady, and think about how he’ll fit into my projected 5 year life structure. I get too involved with a guy too fast, and that’s the reason my longest relationship has been three months. But with THM I’m totally cool. It’s all about the sex and not about the relating. And I’m so content. He was out of town last weekend and is planning on being out of town this weekend. I wasn’t going to send him a text until next Wednesday. Well he beat me to the punch. He sent me a text last night and we went back and forth for a while and he made plans to give me a call when he gets back in town. Cool. At this point I have absolutely no feelings for him. I’ve told myself that he’s an introverted artist who’s very spacey (he acts like he’s high most of the time even though I know he’s not) and who’s too caught up in his own world to care if he accidentally (or intentionally) hurt another person (emotionally). But the sex is amazing, his skin is soft, and he’s good company so I’ve decided to keep him around. With no strings attached. Congratulations, THM. You’ve just been added to Kiki’s roster.
It’s 5P on Friday. I still haven’t heard from Smitty. Am I disappointed? Not really. I had a feeling he’d be a no show, so somewhere in the back of my mind I was expecting it. I decided not to email him and ask him what’s going on because I really don’t care. And I don’t want to put myself in the position of caring. Right now there is no man that I’m caring about in my life and I actually feel free to focus on things that are making me happy.
I was going to go to Canada (Windsor) this weekend to have lunch at one of the swanky restaurants in the Casino, but I ran out of money, so I nixed that plan. I guess I’ll just go to the gym after volunteering and then go home. I may go and see Brokeback in East Lansing on Sunday. We’ll see.
I’m behaving surprisingly well with THM. Anyone who knows me intimately knows I’m a sucker for instant gratification. Once I meet a man I want to sleep with him, go steady, and think about how he’ll fit into my projected 5 year life structure. I get too involved with a guy too fast, and that’s the reason my longest relationship has been three months. But with THM I’m totally cool. It’s all about the sex and not about the relating. And I’m so content. He was out of town last weekend and is planning on being out of town this weekend. I wasn’t going to send him a text until next Wednesday. Well he beat me to the punch. He sent me a text last night and we went back and forth for a while and he made plans to give me a call when he gets back in town. Cool. At this point I have absolutely no feelings for him. I’ve told myself that he’s an introverted artist who’s very spacey (he acts like he’s high most of the time even though I know he’s not) and who’s too caught up in his own world to care if he accidentally (or intentionally) hurt another person (emotionally). But the sex is amazing, his skin is soft, and he’s good company so I’ve decided to keep him around. With no strings attached. Congratulations, THM. You’ve just been added to Kiki’s roster.
