Thursday, August 31, 2006 

What Have I Done?

I've joined something called bloglines. I have no idea what it is and I'm just getting the hang of using it. If anyone can add some insight, please let me know. And also add me to your blogline. Although I have no idea what that means.

 

Phat

I’m fat. Yep, y’all all know where this post is going. It’s time again for the 700 calorie diet. For those of you not reading the comments, I stated that the ED on the right does not refer to Erectile Dysfunction, but instead a little thing we girls and gay boys at ND refer to as an eating disorder. I’ve had a lot of guys tell me that Notre Dame girls aren’t pretty. I have no opinion on that. However, I do know that what we supposedly lack in beauty, we make up in being hella skinny. I had one friend who lived in Farley hall who told me that the hall staff had to put notes on all the bathrooms asking the girls to stop throwing up in the showers because of the resulting clogs.

But don’t think the eating disorders strictly applied to the girls. The boys were addicted to working out. In fact, I’m amazed that when I go to the MSU gym I don’t see people on the treadmill with a semester’s worth of books. I knew plenty people (myself included) who would be on the treadmill or elliptical with their book/notes studying while burning fat. And ND has something else MSU doesn’t have. At the ND gym, you had to sign up to use a machine at a specific time. And even though everyone was a good Catholic saint, you were NOT to use someone’s machine if you did not sign up for the specific time. Thou shall not kill! My Ass! That’s when all hell really would break loose. I’ve seen skinny white girls threaten to beat a bitch down because they were on an elliptical during someone else’s scheduled time. And I never took a machine out of turn after that encounter! But yeah, the guys would spend hours at a time at the gym. There was this red headed boy who I thought was cute who worked out all the time. Sometimes I would go to the gym before class and he would be there. Other days I would go before dinner (oh who am I kidding, I’d skip dinner and go to the gym) and he’d be there. To this day, I don’t think I ever remember seeing him outside the gym.

So, back to me. Because this is who this blog is about. I’m going back on the 700 calorie diet for a while because I’m 3 pounds heavier than what my ideal weight should be. And really, my ideal weight is a healthy weight for my height and size. When I tell most guys how much I weigh, they usually don’t believe me and think I weigh much less. But those 6 months that I was away from the gym really made me feel gross and look gross. So, I’m back to doing something about it. Each day I write down what I eat and how many calories are in what I eat. I make sure to space out my meals and snacks so I don’t get all crazy and slap a bitch out of hunger rage. I’ve been doing well this week and have only gone over a few days. However, the diet is suspended this weekend. It’s Notre Dame’s first game and I plan on being in Chicago to catch the game at the bars. Where plenty of drinking will be done!

P.S. I don’t need any comments about how unhealthy my lifestyle is. Remember, this blog is for me and not you. I just happen to be an exhibitionist. So please keep your negativity/advice to yourself.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006 

The Beatdown

This week has not started well. I'm hoping it gets better.

Yesterday was the first day of class at MSU. I was really excited. However, before I got to campus, some kid rear ended me on the highway. Fortunately she didn't cause any cosmetic damage to the EZ Rider. However, as I drove away (after getting her info) I heard a weird humming noise. I heard it again when I drove to work today and called a mechanic to check it out. My appointment is tomorrow morning. And naturally, the noise has mysteriously stopped. I'm still taking it in. I'd rather spend the $40 and get it looked at than not have it looked at at all.

My class last night was good. I had on a rocking outfit. I always believe in dressing up for the first day of school. Plus, I had a meeting at work yesterday as well so it all worked out. My professor is not 'English is his first language' speaking. It was hard to understand him at times, but he's very jovial and lighthearted so that helps. Plus, I sit in the front row so I can't miss anything he says. Yes. I'm that girl.

Then, I almost beat a boy down at the gym tonight. I'm not really a violent person, but I do listen to very crunk, sometimes violent music when I'm working out. It puts me in the mood to push myself. Well, after finishing my cardio I headed down to the weight section where there's not a vag in sight. I'm waiting for this kid to finish with a bench so I can use it next. Next thing I know two punk kids ask the bench guy if he's close to his last set. These kids looked like sophomores or juniors. Didn't look like they could grow hair on their chest, but not as timid as a frosh. As soon as the bench wasn't occupied, they approached the bench but I threw my towel on it and gave them both a look. I never said a word. They immediately got the message. Just because I'm a chick doesn't mean I don't get equal access to the free weights, bitches. I'm glad T.I. was in my ear pushing me to take a stand.

So yeah, that's all. My week isn't going all that bad. I have class again tomorrow and of course I have a spectacular outfit planned. This, however, will all stop and it begins to get cold. That's when all my cute outfits run out.

Monday, August 28, 2006 

Indianapolis

First and foremost, everyone needs to go out and buy Drinko. It is the world’s greatest game. EVER!

I was in Indianapolis this weekend visiting one of my best guy friends, Andrew. When I was in college, he was friends with a bunch of guys in his dorm and I was the chick who would hang out occasionally. Now that school is over, everyone’s spread out, but since Andrew is so close to where I live, I decided to pay him a visit for his birthday.

It was one of those weekends that you tell yourself that after this weekend I’m never drinking again. I got to Indy at about 5P on Saturday where Andrew, his roommate and I went to
dinner. Soon after, they called a couple of their buddies and we played Drinko before we went out to the bars. The coolest thing about where Andrew lives is that there’s a little path that goes from his apartment straight to the bars. So, there was absolutely no driving this weekend. I was so jealous that I live in Lansing while everyone else lives in nice, neat places.

Anyway, we went out to a bar where I made friends with the wife of one of Andrew’s buddy and we ended up slapping a guy in the bar. Like a full out Joan Collins/Linda Evans Dynasty slap. I was told later that the slap was loud enough to actually hear. I don’t remember if the wife slapped this random guy first or if I did. I just remember that after it happened I took her hand and hauled ass to get to the other side of the bar. The last thing I needed was some dude kicking my (or Andrew’s) ass.

Oh, and I hooked up with Andrew’s roommate. It was really pretty easy. He was really nice and already there. No effort on my part. So when Andrew and I went to
breakfast the next morning he had to give me shit for hooking up with his roommate. He was cool with it. That’s one of the reasons why I love those guys. They’re just cool and they pretty much treat me like one of the guys.

So that was my weekend. I saw a great friend, got drunk and hooked up. Successful on all accounts.

Friday, August 25, 2006 

Everyone Should Have Goals

So I’m still conversing with whacked out career student Van. He doesn’t know anything about football. I don’t think I can respect a man who doesn’t know anything about football. (Much like I don’t think I could respect a man who made less than me. We all know I have a superiority complex. If we’re in a relationship and you make less than me, I will probably lord that over you. And we probably won’t work in the end. Call me old fashioned, but no matter how high I get on the career ladder, I still expect my man to provide for me.) Getting back to Van not knowing anything about football…Well, he did grow up in England…but still. He’s an American, damnit! He should know about the game of football. So, he suggested a time for us to ‘get together’ so we could watch football and I could tell him about the game. Ok. Is this role reversal? This is the exact excuse girls use to get closer to guys. A girl will ask a guy if she can come over and watch the game with him so that he can explain the details to her. When in reality, the girl probably knows more about the game than him. She just needed an excuse to get close to him. Damn. I haven’t met him yet and I already feel like I’m wearing the pants. I have a feeling he won’t survive long. But it will be fun crushing him. Maybe I should have an online poll or something. How long do you think it will take for me to break him. Or maybe even…I should set a goal for myself. Challenge myself to stay with him for at least a month or two…just to see if I can do it. Everyone needs to have goals.

And I’m now off to Indianapolis to visit one of my good friends who lived in my ‘brother dorm’ in college. He told me he lives within walking distance of the bars and advised me to bring my ‘drinking shoes.’ If you don’t hear from me by Monday, either wire me bail money or I’m probably dead! Wish me luck!

Thursday, August 24, 2006 

The Greatest Race of All


Does anyone see this ‘Survivor of the Races’ as a good idea? I mean, I’m sure that each ethnicity sitting at home will root for their own ethnic tribe. Unless you’re mixed. Then you’ll be rooting for more than one tribe. I’m trying to figure out how they’re going to do the last episode. Are they going to get all lovey dovey and say that everyone’s a winner? Or, are they going to say, “Congratulations, (insert ethnicity) you are the superior race!”

And does it really matter? I mean, these people are competing to survive on some island with little to no food, bugs, wild animals, and pointless challenges. Will this determine who is superior over all races? Of course not! Well, at least that’s my argument if the black tribe doesn’t win.

How weird will the water cooler talk be? Will it be acceptable to introduce stereotypes in your conversations with coworkers? “Well, it’s obvious the Asian Tribe won that challenge. It was all about doing math.” Or “Well, it’s obvious that the Hispanic tribe won that other challenge because everyone knows they’re hard workers.” I don’t know any stereotypes for white people. Or else I would have used one.

I see this new ‘social experiment’ to be a huge problem and I cringe at what the results will be. And with that being said, I can’t wait to watch the entire season!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006 

I Want Those 46 Minutes of My Life Back

I'm on the phone right now. I'm about to impale myself with my mouse, hoping that I kill myself. I'm talking to this guy who sought me out. I have a profile online again. I haven't had one up in a few years. I don't know why I put a profile back up. Maybe because Stephanie Klein met her current Suitor online. If she can do that and get married and get a book deal and have twins, shit, the least I could do was put up a profile.

So yes. I set up a profile. So far I've had two people have contacted me. And they're both freaks. I'm on the phone right now with the second of the freaks. He's 40. And very nervous. I can tell.

He sent me an email and included his phone number. Obviously I called him. He seemed like he was in the middle of something when he answered. I asked if he wanted me to call him back and he said he wasn't busy. He was just watching the X-Files. He won an eBay autcion of the entire 3847 seasons the show was on the air. Wow. Nerd. Now, to be fair, I was an X-Files fan when it was on TV. I even went to see the X-Files movie in the theatre. However, I did not buy the entire 72 disc DVD set off the internet.

Anyway, Pocket Kip has already dubbed this freak Van. Why Van? Because it's short for Vanilla Ice. This is the blackest white guy I have ever met. Now it's not what you think. He doesn't listen to rap and wear baggy pants. He's 40. Instead he's a career student starting the PhD program at MSU. And what, pray tell is he studying? Africa and African American Studies and All Things that are black. Now really, this isn't a bad thing. The weired thing that of the 4 emails he's sent me, they are all about the eradication of white supremacy and the plight of the black man. Ok. I'm convinced that this man knows more about black history than I do.


Another thing. He was neverous. Very nervous. It could have been because I have a larger than life personality. I'm very entergetic. I'm supposing he's a person who's been a career student, never held a real job, and is just a book worm. He couldn't tell me why he was nervous, just that he was.

So, why am I dealing with this guy? I don't know. I guess I'm bored. And everybody needs a hobby. I also have a weird feeling that he's an amazing lover. I'm not sure why I think this, but I'm kinda convinced of it. Kipper even verified that if they're crazy in the head they're crazy in the bed. I feel I should find out if this is true. However, he tends to bore me and I wrote the majority of this post while I was on the phone with him. I guess Mr. Tequila Man will need to chaperone me on my outings with Van.

See how much I care about my audience! I'm doing it all for y'all!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 

Nothing Exciting

I golfed tonight. The class that I took put me with three other beginners and we played for a while. My instructor came around occassionally to see how we were doing and to give us pointers. I'm glad that I went. I had a great time. The guy in my cart is a medical student at MSU. He was the best player in our group but very patient. He let me know that his wife is a beginner too and she occasionally comes on golf outings with him so I gave him my card and encouraged him to call me when he went out with his wife cause I'd love to tag along.

I have to say that I'm really emjoying going out and playing. I'm not very good, but the more I practice, the more good shots I make.

I did feel bad about missing NYU's open bar tonight. Not because I missed NYU, but because I was missing out on an open bar. Oh well. I plan on calling him tomorrow to see if he wants to go out again before he goes back to New York.

 

The Ending to 'Today Was A Good Day'

I went out with the NYU boy. After he stood me up last night, he called back an hour later. He told me that the buddies he was supposed to have drinks with stood him up and he was calling me back to see if I was still available for dinner. Hmm…I was a little taken aback. I told him that I would not be his afterthought and flatly told him no. He apologized profusely. I’m in a mood right now where I’m tired of being a doormat to men. I feel that I let some men get away with too much. I’d rather be alone than have to deal with feeling bad all the time. I talked with NYU a little more on the phone. I could tell he was a little disappointed that I firmly said no. So, at the last second, I said yes. I had a change of heart. After telling him yes I immediately called Tiffy. I needed validation that I wasn’t being a doormat. She told me that it was ok that he changed plans multiple times. He’s in town for a conference and he doesn’t know anyone. It was an honest mistake. However, if I had known him for a month or two and he pulled that shit, I was to kick him to the curve.

I took my time getting to the restaurant (Cosi). I didn’t change back into my previous amazing outfit, but I still looked very nice. By the time I was walking around the corner to Cosi, I got a call. NYU was telling me that Cosi was closing. In fact, when I walked into the door, the manager was locking it. No problem…we could go somewhere else for dinner. Problem was, NYU had ordered while waiting for me. And his food was ready. So we found a bench on the street and I watched him eat his delicious Cosi BLT.

Although I was trying to keep up a pleasant appearance, he could tell that I was pissed. First about being stood up, second about being called an hour later, third about missing dinner. He asked me if I had eaten and I told him no. That made him feel really bad. He offered to share his sandwich but I declined. My heart softened a little after that gesture.

NYU thought I was hilarious. We talked about a lot of things. For some reason we talked about getting into fights. I told him that I hadn’t been in a fight and if anyone approached me to want to fight, I would probably run away…cause I wouldn’t want anyone to mess up my face. However, if I did have beef with someone, I would slowly destroy their soul and break them down from within…psychological warfare. He was amused (and a little frightened) by this.

I learned that NYU was a hockey player and he was intrigued to know that I’m a figure skater. He said because of that we should be a perfect match. He’s the youngest of 8 children (obviously Catholic), lives in Manhattan, loves his job and works with a bunch of women. He said he loves working with women and wouldn’t have it any other way.

He was a nice guy. He invited me to his conference’s open bar tonight but I told him that I have a golf lesson. (Ok, when work starts interfering with my drinking, I’m really going to have to reevaluate my priorities.) He told me he’s in town till Thursday. I told him to call me. It was a good end to a very good day.

Monday, August 21, 2006 

Today Was A Good Day

I had a really good day today. It started with the office manager telling me bossman was going to be out most of the week! Score! Then, I talked to bossman on the road about the very uncomfortable subject of money. And guess what? Bossman was totally cool about our money talk. Score number 2!

Then, I talked to some potential clients and I found a new way to dig around for new clients. Score number 3!

I rewarded all my hard work today with a workout at the gym. While winding down and doing my abs, I was approached by a guy. Now, normally, I don't engage in gym room pimping. I don't wear coordinating outfits to the gym. I don't wear makeup to the gym. I'm there to sweat and work out and listen to crunk music. But while I was doing my abs, this guy approached me and asked me about any other machines he could use to do ab workouts. The Texan in me totally came out and I gave him a mini tour of the facility pointing out which were good for abs. It really didn't occur to me at first that he was flirting and trying to find a way to break the ice. In all honesty, I thought he wanted to learn more about the gym.

We ended up talking. He told me he's from NYC and was in town for a real estate conference. He manages corporate real estate investments. I almost wet myself. I think investing is so hot. Seriously. I'm not kidding. While food is the way to a man's heart, money market, hedge funds and real estate investments is the clear path to my heart. Anyway, he told me he went to NYU and he's going to grad school there part time. He also told me his family was from Connecticut (old money!). The gym was about to close so I asked him if he wanted to have dinner. He said yes, he didn't have any plans. I told him I was going home to change but I would call him and pick him up from his hotel and go to dinner.

I took my time getting home. I'm trying to be more aloof with people. I showered, shaved, curled my hair, put on a nice (and clean) outfit. I even went as far as cleaning the guest bathroom. I didn't clean my bathroom. I wanted to have a good excuse why he couldn't go to the Heart of The Dungeon if the opportunity arose.

I was putting my things in my purse, walking out the door when I called him. "Is this Kiki?" "Yes." "I feel like a total jackass. I forgot that I was having drinks with buddies tonight. I guess I got so excited that I forgot I already had plans. What are you doing for the rest of the week?"

I was a little pissed. Here I was standing in my living room looking and smelling fantastic. Hell, I even shaved my legs (but really, that was necessary as I'm playing golf tomorrow and I'm wearing my cute new Ralph Lauren shorts)! I told him to give me a call later in the week and we'll see what happens.

Part of me wants to write him off completely. Yet part of me knows how exciting it is to be asked out that you simply say yes without thinking of anything else.

What would you do?

Saturday, August 19, 2006 

Mindless Reads

On Friday I went to the bookstore. I'm usually a fan of the library, but the library didn't have any of the books that were on my list to check out. So, I decided to hit up the bookstore. I wanted to get Lipstick Jungle but I also inquired about The Undomestic Goddess and Everyone Worth Knowing. I felt really sheepish as I asked the girl to help me find the books (I didn't write down the authors when I was researching at work). I didn't realize I was in a chick lit probably doesn't teach you anything about life book. So, I also bought a cook book with 200 soup recipies. You know, to show that I read about more than the lives of fabulous women with fabulous wardrobes who live in New York.

(and I ended up buying Lipstick Jungle. I'm in the first chapter and I'm loving it!)

Friday, August 18, 2006 

Party Over Here!

Omgomgomg! I just got invited to an adult party! Now, I know this is something that goes on pretty regularly in normal people’s lives…but I’m not normal. And, I don’t have a life.

I opened my inbox to find an evite inviting me to a pool party. At first I was pissed because it would coincide with a ND game, but I saw that the times were perfect and I could hit up both the party and the game and I would win overall.

The couple who invited me to the party is a couple I met at one of my networking functions. Shortly after the function I received and email from the wife asking me if me and my boyfriend were going to some baseball game. (Ha! Like I have a boyfriend!) Obviously the wife mistook me for another girl named Kiki who she had met at the networking event. I replied back that I was the other Kiki, but I would love to go to lunch with her. She never responded.

So, part of me is wondering whether or not they really invited me or the other Kiki. Who cares! I’m going anyway. And since it’s a pool party and I’ve been working out, I plan on being the skinniest bitch there and showing up in an awesome bikini. And I’ve decided that if the party is lame, I can always excuse myself and tell everyone I need to get to a bar and watch the ND game. And if it’s fun, I can always pick up one of the single guys and invite him to the bar to watch the game with me. See, I knew I’d have something exciting to blog about soon enough! Wish me luck!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 

Starting School

So I don’t know if I told y’all, but I started grad school. I took classes last year online and I take my first in-classroom class this semester. I’m really excited. Finally I’ll be able to interact with people outside of the office. However, with my new student status, I also am able to take advantage of all the things my student ID offers. I’ve been taking advantage of the gym (illegally…but it’s justified. No one wants to see a fatty Kiki) but I spent the better part of the day looking at other things I could get by using my student ID. I’m most excited about dental work and club sports. Dental work because it’s time for my annual cleaning and x-rays. I don’t have dental insurance at my job, so I let my Dentist anally rape me in exchange for him cleaning my teeth every year. (Not really…but paying for your own dental work is a bitch. Makes me glad that I have at least a little insurance.) So now I’m excited that I get to inquire about the student rates for dental examinations since I’m now a student. Thank God they have a medical school on campus. I’d even be willing to have some dental student stick his hand in my mouth…so long as he’s attractive and single.

Moving on from my medical excitement (I think they have a prescription drug plan too! Yay for buying poison at a cheaper rate!) I also looked at their club sports. I’d like to do intramural but you have to belong to a group to join intramural (like a sorority or something). And, since I don’t like to make friends, I think going the club sport route is the best for me. So far I’m seriously considering field hockey. We had field hockey in High School and although I didn’t play on the team, I secretly wished I did. So now, as an adult, I can now play. Apparently the team is coed and I was looking at some of the pics and it looks like there are a lot of foreign people on the team. And you know how I love me some foreign people….unless they’re here illegally and clogging our public schools and healthcare facilities…but I digress.

I just checked the list again and it seems that Field Hockey is really the only think that tweaked my interest. There was also a figure skating club but I doubt people join since figure skating is a varsity sport at MSU. I also thought about tennis, but I’m intimidated to play with a club team that you have to try out for. I do better rejecting people, not having them reject me.

So, I’ve decided to spend the rest of the day researching different things I can take advantage of on campus. I’m so stoked!

 

For Your Enjoyment

OMG! Why do I not have cable? I could watch this shit over and over. To be fair, I'm postin both the fight and the aftermath.

Fight:


Post Fight:

Monday, August 14, 2006 

We Go Through This Every Year

My God I hate him. There’s only really one time a year I think about him and it’s on his birthday. This weekend I glanced at my palm pilot. “Smitty’s Birthday….Snooze or Delete?” it asked me. I deleted. I was going to break the cycle. Every year I send him an email for his birthday. This turns into us emailing back and forth for a couple of days before we both just disappear into the abyss…not to talk again until my school plays his school in football…and then not again until his birthday. We have an understanding. A routine.

This year I said I wasn’t going to email him on his birthday. And I didn’t. Saturday came and went and he didn’t hear a word from me. So he emailed me this morning. It was really innocent. Just saying hello. I could tell he missed our routine. How we insult each other and make snide sexual comments only to never do anything about it. I emailed him back. I was a bit rude. I asked him if he was 40 yet (he is getting there) and that although my taste in men has (fortunately) changed, my taste in liquor hasn’t and I would always be glad to meet him for a drink. I also mentioned the party that I’m throwing when my school plays (and beats) his school this season. I know he won’t come.

So what’s the story behind Smitty? Why is he the only boy that I think about even though we broke up four years ago and I haven’t seen him in that long of time either? It’s because Smitty was my ideal man. He was uber successful, a world traveler, an Executive at a Fortune 500 company, arrogant, a real son-of-a-bitch, both feared and hated by his employees, and larger than life. He was everything I wanted to be as a woman in the package of a man. And why did we break up (well actually, he broke up with me…three days before Valentine’s day)? We broke up because Smitty was a jerk. He never spent the night, I never visited his house. He didn’t call me on my birthday. We didn’t spend New Years together. I talked to Smitty on the phone for 3 hours earlier this year. He told me about a girl he recently broke up with. Why? Because she brought up marriage in a conversation. Also, because she had reached her 3 month expiration date. Smitty doesn’t date girls for longer than 3 months. I found that out the hard way. In all honesty, Smitty should think about settling down soon. There’s something to be said about men over 30 who have never been married. He’s very rapidly approaching a status that single women stay away from. What woman wants to marry a man nearing 40 who’s never been married before?

But despite it all, I have every email that Smitty has ever sent me. The very first one telling me he had a good time on our date and that I will go out with him again to the last one that he sent today. I don’t compare the men I date (or sleep with) to Smitty. I’m not that girl. He's the only man who makes me feel something when I think about him. It's usually longing followed by rage. Pin Dick, The Cop, The Serbina, none of those boys evoke feelings from me when I think about him. When I think about Smitty, I can't think about anything else, and what I feel isn't joy, but anger that he's on my mind. But no matter how angry I am, when I do think about him, I also think about what could have been. How happy we’d be on our million dollar estate, no children, raking in our wealth, taking expensive vacations and ruining lives on a daily basis. But then I remember how over worked, undersexed and selfish he was (2 only children shouldn’t belong together) and I focus on how happy I am without him and without all that drama. Or so I tell myself.

Saturday, August 12, 2006 

How Awesome is Daddy Kiki?

When Daddy Kiki was in town, we hit up the furniture store. I really want a bed. Not the mattress. I already have that. I'm talking the actual headboard and footboard combo. I want a Massive Poster bed that might look something like this. Actually, this is exactly the one I saw in Lansing.



Anyway, we found one that I liked here in Lansing, but the posts weren't solid wood, and that's unaccepatble to me. Daddy Kiki has a furniture store that he regularly visits back in Texas where he likes to bargin with the staff. He gets some good deals. This afternoon he called me to tell me he found a bed that would have been perfect for me. He was planning on buying it and then renting a U-Haul to drive it up to me from Texas and help me put it together. However, he discovered that the posts weren't solid wood, but instead some type of wood overlay over styrofoam. But I think it's awesome that Daddy Kiki was willing to drive over 1000 miles to deliver a bed to me. He's officially the most awesomest dad in the WORLD!

 

Mama's Family


I just watched an episode of Mama's Family. There was a marathon on tonight on the local bootleg PAX network in town. I liked this show as a kid. It came on in syndication during the summers. I think I liked the show because it reminded me of why I don't like families. I watched an episode tonight where Carol Burnett guest stars. It's Vince and Naomi's wedding. Carol Burnett's character gets drunk. Betty White's character blackmails her cheating husband to buy her a Cadillac, and before the wedding is over, there's a screaming match between all of the family members. I watched the episode and laughed. And thanked my lucky stars that I don't have any family members (save Daddy Kiki). Fewer crazies that I'm obligated to deal with!

Thursday, August 10, 2006 

Scared Yet?

So I woke up this morning to Matt Lauer telling me that we’re on a ‘red’ alert for flights from Great Britain to the US. And, 21 people had been arrested for a terrorist plot that was about to be carried out. However, before Matt told me all this, Gene Shalet gave me his review of the new movie, WTC. It seems like a touching movie and a tribute to the service people who died saving lives. I’m not going to go see the movie, because I don’t like anything that makes me express emotion. However, I do think it will be a good film.

Ah yes, so moving on. I watched the Michael Chertoff press conference in horror. Another terrorist plot. 21 people arrested. 10 planes that were supposed to blow up at the same time. The terrorist using liquids as explosives. And then the kicker…liquids (except baby formula and medicine) would now be banned on flights. Great. One more restriction. One more reason that you have to get to the airport 2 hours early for a 1 hour flight. One more reason that the airlines can justify raising ticket prices. Thanks terrorists. I have a feeling that by the time it’s all over, passengers will have to board planes in only their underwear and you will no longer be allowed to take any luggage with you. You’ll have to ship your luggage to your destination. But if that happens, I hope Americans start getting slimmer. Cause there’s nothing worse than sitting on a full flight next to a man in his underwear who takes up two seats.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006 

A Girl's Best Friend

So when Daddy Kiki was here, we went to the bookstore. Barnes & Noble was having a great $1 book sale and I picked up this gem. I can not tell you how in love with this book I am. (Is that even correct sentence structure?) This book is better than porn. It’s 240 pages of pictures from Elizabeth Taylor’s private jewelry collection. And it’s magnificent. There are little stories about the pieces. Some given to her by Michael Jackson. The majority of them given to her by her true love, Richard Burton. I’ve decided that’s all I want from a man. I don’t need designer clothes and cars. I don’t even need a big house. I just need a man to buy jewelry for me.

My obsession with jewelry is all Daddy Kiki’s fault. Since I was little, I always got a piece of jewelry either for my birthday or for Christmas. In fact, when I received my very first bonus from my very first job out of college, I rewarded myself with a diamond and topaz necklace that I saw on consignment at a locally owned jewelry store.

I’m not sure where this post is going. I just wanted to say that I love jewelry. And Elizabeth Taylor.

 

Election Day

Can I tell you how excited I get on Election Day? I don’t know what it is, but Election Day makes me giddy. My routine is as follows:

About a week before the election, I either get a newspaper or go online to see the candidates in my district. This time, I found a
handy site on the Lansing State Journal’s website that allows me to key in my zip code and then compare and contrast candidates based on a list of questions. I can then select who I like best, print out the results, and take them with me to the polling place.

On the morning of the election, I usually go to my polling place and vote before work. However, I realized that the polls are open till 8P so I decided to go to the polling place at lunch. The last time we had an election, I was the second person to vote for the entire day. I was kinda stoked. However, Bossman wanted to go to lunch today so I didn’t get a chance to vote at lunch. No fear. I’ll just vote on my way home. I usually like voting in the morning because the old ladies give you a sticker that says ‘I Voted Today’ and I like to wear it all day. Even at work.

But I like the anticipation of the whole process. I kinda wish I was a part of some campaign so I could go to a bar and watch the election results and drink some beers. Talking with my fellow campaigners about what a great job we did to try and get our candidate elected. But let’s face it. The only reason I like that fantasy is because 1) I like to drink with crowds and 2) I think some political type guys are kinda cute. I do not, however, like campaigning, I don’t believe in people or their ideas, and I’m lazy. So me working on a campaign staff would never work.

That’s all. Go vote.

Monday, August 07, 2006 

I know.....

I know I've been AWOL. No, Daddy Kiki and I did not kill each other last week. We had a nice time after I got over the fact that someone else was living in my space (that took about 2-3 days). He made me yummy food and we played tennis everyday and now I miss him. A little. However, I am glad that I can finally walk around the house with no pants! Score.

Nothing much is going on right now. When new adventures do happen, I'll clue you in.

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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