Wednesday, July 30, 2008 

Interesting things I hear while I walk

Yesterday I was walking about when I was stopped by someone I knew. He told me of an upcoming lecture he was going to and lamented the he didn't like it when 'fat people' sat in front of him and blocked his view. I'm not sure what kind of reaction he was trying to garner from me, but I wanted to tell him, "Honey, you're not thin yourself, so you're not going to elicit any sympathy from me." Instead I just gave him an awkward look.

I walked further and I passed the bus stop. Two men were standing waiting for the bus. As I walked by I heard one of them say, "Well, it's real fortunate because they reduced it to a misdemeanor." What is it about people who ride the bus who have convictions?

Today I went to the library. As I was checking out I saw a man who appeared to be gay. When he got up to the counter he was explaining why he had overdue books. "Someone broke into my house when I was in jail and stole my library books." First of all, I don't imagine that gay people go to jail. The only ones I've encountered have been well behaved and bring up property values when they move in. Second, that was a pretty elaborate excuse for losing a library book.

And as I was leaving the library, a very pudgy little boy was complaining that he and his mom had to walk to wherever they were going. "You need to walk, kid, you're overweight as it is." His mom said. Now, I have no problem with giving your children low self esteem and telling them that they're fat. My problem was that the mom had no business calling ANYONE fat. At all.

So that's what I encounter on my daily walk. People with convictions and folks who complain about those who are overweight. And we wonder why people aren't flocking to Michigan!


Saturday, July 26, 2008 

Too Mad for Words

I've written about Laura before here. If you really care about the details of why I don't like her, that explains it.

Last week Baloo asked if I wanted to go to a party at his friend's house in Detroit on Friday night. I agreed, and since we would be spending the night it would be perfect because I was getting my hair done the next morning in Detroit.

Baloo drove from Ann Arbor and met me half way at a carpool lot where I picked him up and drove the rest of the way to Detroit. The goal was to save gas and money. About 10 minutes after we left the carpool lot, Baloo says, "In the spirit of full disclosure, I wanted to tell you that Laura is going to be at the party."

I flipped. I mean I was pretty pissed. Without going into everything I said, it boiled down to this. First, I found it very convenient for Baloo to remember that Laura was going to be at the party when we were in the car when I asked him specifically before who was coming and for what occassion were his friends throwing a party. Turns out, the friends were throwing a small get together for Laura before she returns back to Denver next week. I guess that slipped Baloo's mind. Second, there have been several occassions when Laura comes back to town. Baloo has invited me to join him and his friends and I have always politely declines. Baloo knows very well how I feel about her as I've expressed it to him several times. When she's in town, Baloo goes to hang out and I do other things. Third, Baloo put me in an awkward and difficult position. We were 1/2 way to our destination and I was going to be forced to interact with a person I'd rather have no dealings with. Instead of providing me with the details before we left the house (I talked to him on the phone earlier that day and he still didn't mention that Laura would be there) he broadsided me with the information on the way to the destination.

To say the least I'm pissed. On the good advice of Tiffy, I remained cordial at the party. Fortunately there were people there who I had a nice time with. I made sure to tell Baloo before we left the car that I was going to have fun. I was going to laugh and have a good time. However, that did not mean in any uncertain terms that I was fucking pissed with him and we would continue this conversation when we got home.

I do have to say that I slipped up by the end of the night. I was really tired and the only people hanging out were me, Baloo, Laura, and our hosts. I was drunk and tired and couldn't stop giving Laura the stink eye. I never said a mean word to her, but I couldn't control myself from just giving her an awful look. She's one of those people who makes me physically want to react when I'm in the same surroundings are her. She's not an honorable person. She doesn't have honorable values, and I react negatively to that.

This morning I got up and got my hair done. I left Baloo at our host's house. He decided that he wanted to play frisbee golf with his friends (and Laura) rather than go home with me. So he can get a ride back to his car 20 miles from Detroit from his precious Laura or whatever other friend who's willing to waste the gas on him. As for me, I plan on watching a calming movie this afternoon and wait for him to come home. So I can ask him why he feels the need to not honor my feelings and take Laura's side. It should be an intersting conversation.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008 

Black Hair

Something tells me that I've written about this before, but I'm too lazy to look. I'm super excited about CNN's series on being black in America. Although I don't have cable, I plan on going to Baloo's house tonight and watching the second part. One thing that I've already seen is a video on black hair seen here: black hair.

Here's an article if you'd rather read than watch: black hair article

It's true that black women have a love hate relationship with our hair. But I think any woman does. I think that relationship is unique for black women because our hair has been used in some ways to tell a story about who we are. Baloo HATES that I get my hair straightened. I'm going this Saturday to get my hair did :-) and he constantly tells me not to. He says he wants to see my hair as it's intended to be. I talked to my hair dresser about this and she rolled her eyes. She told me how much more work it was to have you hair in its natural state than to get it chemically straightened every month. Now, she may not be an impartial judge seeing that getting a press and curl costs significantly less than a straightening. I've thought about letting my hair go natural. Sometimes I experiment by not blow drying my hair after I wash it. It turns into a HUGE mess of tangles and craziness. I look like a wild woman. In truth I really don't like the way my hair looks right after I go to the hair dresser. I usually like the look when the style is about three days old any my natural fullness comes back.

But the stigma related to hair is also self inflicted. Directly after slavery, hair (and light skin) could be your ticket for an ability to pass for white and have more opportunities afforded to you. I remember when I was growing up women looking at young babies to determine whether or not they had 'good' (or more straight) hair. I was definitely not one of those babies. And then I look at some people who have 'natural hair.' A lot of those women have the ability to wear their hair that way because they are mixed with other nationalities that make their curls more long and spirally. My hair does not spiral. It's nappy. And, believe it or not, there are some women with 'natural' hair that get hair added and extensions to make their spiral curls look that way. So, in all reality, in the black community, hair was an indication of your rank. Now, that's not positive at all and I think it's something that was looked at as being important to older generations. But I hope as those old thoughts of whites die out who thought blacks were inferior, I also hope the old thoughts of blacks die out too who saw hair as an indication of your worth.

I guess you can say white people look at hair in a similar manner. Be truthful. How many times have you looked at some kid with a mohawk and made an assumption about their character? How about the girl who dyes her hair pink? You don't know anything about them, but based upon the way they wear their hair you've probably made a snap judgment about them one way or another. Now, the difference is that hair was not designed to be pink, therefore pink hair is not acceptable in the workplace. But in the alternative, black hair was not meant to be straightened. Therefore, is straight hair too not appropriate in the workplace? Would you argue that an afro on a black woman should be more accepted than a chemical process that makes it straight?

And can I tell you a secret? I'm a little frightened about what people may think of me because of my hair. I'd go back to wearing braids in a heartbeat because I really liked the look. However, it does provided added stress to the hair. But i often wonder what would happen if I went to a complete natural afro look. Would I not be as valued in the workplace? Would people label me as combative and aggressive (and not in the go-getter way but in the angry black female way)? Would people see my objections to ideas as not going along with the status quo? I'd like to think that I have a gentle enough demeanor that people would judge me by my actions, but I'm a pretty girl. I know that people are judged by their looks as well. I'd never admit it to Baloo, but I'm secretly scared that if I go to a natural look, I'd be viewed negatively. Plus, I like the ease that comes with my straightened hair. I don't see myself as trying to 'look white' but instead as being too lazy to wear my hair any other way.

What do others think? I know there are some white women who read here. I'm sure you've had similar experiences with a love/hate relationship with your hair. Do you have opinions on what you think about black hair? Discuss!

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Friday, July 18, 2008 


So Baloo has this friend. Let's call him Marshall. Marshall has a new girlfriend. Let's call her Scandalous (cause that's what we call her). I first met Scandalous when she was with her boyfriend Charles. When Scandalous started hanging out with Baloo's group of friends, she took a liking to Marshall even when she was still dating Charles. She went as far as going on a camping trip with the group and sharing a tent with Marshall...even though she was still dating Charles. I have no idea what kind of lie she spun to go on a weekend camping trip.

Anyway, now that Scandalous has dumped Charles, she's dating Marshall. No one is very happy about this. And apparently Baloo had a talk with Marshall and told him it's not cool. But now that they're dating, I'm going to see much more of Scandalous. I'll probably do my best to exclude her and make her feel bad because that's in my nature. Baloo wants me to be nice to her since she's dating a member of the group. Whatever. She's not a very honorable person, and I don't know who thinks she won't cheat on Marshall just like she cheated on Charles.

I'm throwing a bbq on Sunday (cause Baloo's friends are gonna help me move my new, free piano) and I think she's coming. I need some evil but sneaky things to do to her. All comments are welcome!


Saturday, July 12, 2008 

The 80s

Let me preface this by letting you know that I'm drunk. Yes, I realize that it's 3P on a Saturday afternoon, but damnit I work hard during the week and deserve to be drunk in the middle of the day when I should instead be cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry.

I'm an avid fan of Hulu and I was watching an episode of Benson, a show that I LOVED as a child. I will now post some themes from some of my favorite shows of the 80s. You know, when everyone was skinny, hair was feathered, Reagan was king, we weren't in a recession, and families loved each other. On television. With big hair and vibrant clothing. Ok. I'll shut up now. Let me know which of these shows you loved as much as I did!

Family Ties

My Two Dads

Small Wonder

Punky Brewster (I always thought she was pulling the puppy up by his neck!)


Head of the Class

Standing TAAALLL....On the Wings of my Dreams!

Ok, this theme was just cool!

227...Did anyone else watch this?

Black people made the best caretakers in the 80s!

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Monday, July 07, 2008 

Hitting The Bubble

Hitting the Bubble

Well, the economic woes of Michigan have finally hit home. I could be talking about the value of my house, but I'm not. Well, I am, kinda. I got my tax bill today. My house is worth a considerable amount less than what I bought it. I have to say that I was pretty teed about that. I don't plan on putting my house on the market anytime soon anyway. Even after I finish my degree and decide to move. It's just not the right time.

But no, I'm not talking about the plummeting house values. I went in to the neighborhood pharmacy today to buy some stamps. The lady is really nice and she knows me by name. She seemed relieved that I was just in to buy stamps, but her face still fell when I tried to make small talk. She told me that I would need to transfer my prescriptions. They'd be closing the pharmacy section by the end of the month. I was devastated. For all the time I've been in this area, that pharmacy has been providing me with my birth control and other various prescriptions. The pharmacist knew me by name. They were even patient when my doctor's office faxed over the wrong prescription. They're also the only pharmacy downtown! Every downtown I've ever worked in has a local pharmacy. How could this be happening? The Michigan economy is how this is happening. With so many people forced by insurance companies to buy their prescriptions through mail order, the mom and pop shop is closing its doors. I asked the cashier what she was going to do. She said she'd try to keep the other sections of the pharmacy open. Selling soda, band-aids, over the counter prescriptions. But she didn't know how long she'd be able to do that, and whether or not she'd be able to make any kind of profit. I felt bad for her. She is always so friendly and happy whenever I see her. She and the equally friendly pharmacist don't deserve this.

I honestly don't know how much more of this people can take. I ran into my real estate agent when he was showing a house across the street. One of my neighbors defaulted on their mortgage and abandoned the house. I knew the neighbor quite well. Because I'm nosy, I asked my agent how much the bank was asking for the house. $41,900. No, I did not leave off a zero or put the numbers in the wrong order. $41K for a two story house that really wasn't in bad shape. I've stopped driving my car to work. Not because I'm hard up on cash or I have a long commute, but because I'm protesting the high gas costs, and it's better for the environment. Sure, most of the people on the bus seem like they have prior convictions, but I've been doing it for a few weeks now and I can already feel the change in my pocketbook. But how long will this last? I'm not sure what it feels like in other communities (maybe you commenters want to weigh in) but it feels like the Depression here in Michigan. And although I'm grateful to God that I'm not in any dire situation, I know just how easy it could be to slip and be among the masses. So when my friends ask me to come see them in this place or that, I'll probably have to say no (except for that trip to Japan. I saved for that!). And when you respond, "But Kiki, you have that great new job as Master of the Universe...surely you can afford to see me!" Just remember that I'm amassing my savings for a rainy day and hoping it doesn't get any worse in Michigan.

So now I have to find a new pharmacy. I'd really like to go with another mom and pop shop, but in all reality, there isn't one that is as convenient as the one I currently patronize. So that means I'll probably be going to Rite-Aid. And honestly, that doesn't make me very happy.

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Saturday, July 05, 2008 


Someone made a purchase with my card! I've never felt so naked and vulnerable.

Because I keep careful track of all my money, I reconciled my online account with the account I keep on Quicken. Something didn't match. A $70 purchase from I recognized the company. I made a purchase from them back in college. A pair of booty shorts that I'm too embarrassed and too fat to fit into now. I never bought anything from them again because the clothes are basically grossly out of style. There's a reason why they're on closeout.

Anyway, it happened to be 12:45 when I checked my account, and of course, for drama's sake, my bank closed at 1! I put on a bra and off I went. I was able to close my card and learn a little more about this purchase. It was apparently made at 2P on a Tuesday. Hmm....I don't think my employer would find it very productive of me to shop for cheap clothing during the middle of the day at work. I wanted to think that I had somehow forgotten about making this purchase, but now knowing the the purchase was made online/over the phone in the middle of the day, I knew it was not a purchase I had made.

I don't know if this has happened to anyone else, but it's very frustrating, knowing someone out there has some of your personal information. Especially since I'm the type of person to keep things fairly secure. The card was still in my possession, which makes it even more creepy. How did someone get my card number plus the magical number on the back that is supposed to be your security code. And, because the purchase was made from a retailer I've visited in the past, part of me thinks the retailer might have made the charge. I have no way to prove that, but I think it's such a coincidence that a site I haven't visited in more than 5 years all of a sudden has a charge from me. And, when I tried to call the company to let them know about the dispute, there was no telephone number for me to contact them to be found. Suspicious.....

In the meantime I'm going to take a shower. I feel like someone foreign has been all over me...and not in the good way!


About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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