Friday, November 18, 2005 

Thought about it

Ok. I've slept on it and I've thought about the positive things that came out of this situation:

1) Because Brother will be spending more time in The Cop's crowded house, maybe The Cop will spend more time in my empty house.

2) I didn't have to shave this morning since I'm not seeing him tonight.

Let me know the other good things that have come out of this situation!

Thursday, November 17, 2005 

All Right!!!....Not so fast!

On my surprise visit to The Cop this afternoon (I was in Detroit for a meeting) he happened to tell me that Brother and his family put a bid on a house. Yippie! No Kiki displacement after all!

The Cop called three hours later to say goodnight and also let me know that Brother got the bid on the house! Yay! Kiki is so excited! Congratulations all around!

But then The Cop tells me that Brother will still be moving in with The Cop for two months while they do some repairs to the house (drywall, grouting, whatever). They're doing the repairs themselves. They're not hiring people to do it for them. Actually, sister-in-law's dad is helping in the work. And how old is her father? 60! I swear they'll be living with The Cop till their baby goes off to college. And the icing on the cake: Conveniently, The Cop was volunteered to help with the repairs as well. The new's 30 minutes away from where The Cop lives. So now, instead of his routine nap after a hard day of fighting crime, he gets to drive 30 minutes to BFE to repair a house. For free. While his family mooches off him. In all reality, I need to learn from Brother. It seems like he's got this mooching scheme down to an art. It seems that The Cop will do anything for this brother. I need to get in on this scheme. I need some extra funds to pay my mortgage.

I nearly lost my shit. The calm, supportive Kiki nearly went out the door. Then to top it off, The Cop said it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to stop by after work tomorrow (I usually spend the night at his place when I have to get my hair done on Sat. morning) because Brother doesn't get off work till 5P and The Cop will be helping Brother move into The Cop's house. Oh, and they don't want to move after work on weekdays, so they're planning on just doing little by little on the weekends.

This time I lost my shit. I remarked, "I don't see why Brother can't move after they get off work during the week. I did it when I moved into my house and I didn't have any help!!!" The Cop's response: "Well, my sister-in-law has a baby and two dogs so it's just tougher." In Kiki's opinion, that baby is her own fault. She should have thought about the burden of kids on things like moving and fun before she decided to pop one out! I think the sister-in-law is out to ruin my life as well.

The only thing that can cure this now is a glass (or a bottle) of wine. And then I'm passing out and going to bed. Ora pro meus!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005 

It's Snowing

Today was the first snowfall in Lansing.

All of a sudden I'm longing for warm, southern Texas.


Left Out

I hadn't talked to The Cop since Saturday. I was sick of calling him so I just stopped caring. He called me today at work to chat. Where has he been all this time? Drinking. So you know I'm mad. Not that he didn't call me. I can deal with that. I'm upset that he went out hardcore drinking and didn't invite along the Queen of Booze. No one likes to booze it up more than me - especially on a Monday night. And then to not drunk dial. That's the reason you have relationships. To always have that special person to call when you're so drunk you slur your words and you can't stand without assistance. The nerve of him!

So for him to deny me of alcohol and then a drunk dial...It's unspeakable!

(Ok, we know I'm joking...right?)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005 

Volunteering My Time

I've decided to start volunteering. One, because school isn't taking up too much of my time. Two, becuase I feel I could be doing more. Three, let's be honest. It looks good on your bio/resume. So I went to and now I don't think I'm going to volunteer anymore. If you know me intimately, you know that I don't actually like doing things. I'm more of the delegator. I tell other people to do things and then I take the credit. It's the American way. I think I was put off by how many volunteer positions there were for 'mentors.' They especially wanted mentors for High School students. I would be such a horrible mentor. I'd be the type of person to tell the kids not to drink, then they see my picture on the news for drunken disorderly conduct.

Then there were opportunities to be greeters and interact with guests. I'm too judgmental to really work with other people. Plus, most days I'm really not into smiling. I hear it causes wrinkles.

Then I came across something taht I think I could like: Special Events Coordinator. Now in all reality I work full time and I'm a part time student, so I really don't have the time to coordinate special events. But I like the idea of people doing what I tell them to do. For a good cause, of course. It's the reason why I volunteer.


I'm so excited!

You have to say 'EXCITED' the way Oprah woud!

I'm sure we all know why I'm excited.
Oprah is out on DVD! There could not be anything more special in this world. I have all these gift certificates from Best Buy. I think I'm going to buy it with that. Cause we all know I'm broke.

Imagine having Oprah 24-7 at your beckon and call. I'm excited just thinking about it. This, along with The Cosby Show Season 1 which Kipper got me for my housewarming present will be the two things that sustain me through this winter.

Saturday, November 12, 2005 


My friends are golden. They really are.

I put an early morning call into Tiffy this morning. I was lying in bed and my mind was racing beyond belief. Remember how I said things were going just wonderfully and smoothly with The Cop? That was just the calm before the storm!

The Cop called last night to vent and let me know that his brother and his brother's family (mom, dad, small child, two dogs) would be moving in with The Cop. The backstory: Brother's family sold their house before buying a new home. Now Brother's family has no place to live. Genius. I know. My initial reaction was: O.K. I guess it was something I could live with. The housing market is currently cooling down, but a man without a home would be motivated to buy quicker. Plus, I only get to see The Cop about 2X/week now anyway, so I could deal. But then The Cop added, "And they're thinking of staying till Spring." My reaction, "Wow."

Now, I'd say I did pretty well in the situation. If you know Kiki at all, I like to get my way. In fact, there is no way except my way. I would cut an old woman to get my way. Because I'm the only person who matters. So when Brother decideds to rain on my parade, I take offense. Yes, I know that neither one of us know each other, and he did not purposly sell his house to make me suffer, but the Kiki understanding of it all thinks differently.

That's when I had to call Ms. Tiffy this morning. She told me that the last thing in the world I could do is nag. Because this could easily turn into the situation that occured the last time. He has too much going on in his life and something has to go. That something could easily be me. So the best way to handle the situation is to be supportive, listen, and most importantly, don't nag.

Lord give me strength!

So it's good that Tiffy played pass interference on this one cause I was totally prepared to go off the handle on how he does WAY too much for his family and they tend to take advantage of him. When that is clearly his woman's job.

So y'all pray for me. It's gonna be real hard for me to hold my tongue on this one. But I'm determined not to bitch out. Fortunately I'm gonna start volunteering in town this season, so at least it'll give me something to do to take my mind off the situation. I'm sure this will be a developing story!

Friday, November 11, 2005 

Exercise Cures All

So I got freaked out about the report that the patch is killing people. I read the article that Daddy Kipper sent me and the part that scared me was that "...the patch causes higher estrogen levels since delivery of medication continues all day. Those elevated levels may be high enough to increase some women's risk of blood clots..." If you remember from this post, my poison of choice is also something that delivers estrogen continuously. So, I called my Dr. to ask some questions. Turns out that my poison has one of the lowest estrogen levels on the market. Plus, I'm fairly active, don't smoke (that's the biggie) and within normal weight for my height, I should have little to worry about. There's about a one in 100,000 chance of me getting a clot. Not the best news, but not the worst either. The nurse told me that clots usually develop when the blood isn't flowing, so if I sit for long periods of time, to make sure that I get up and walk around at least once an hour. Of course, this just proves what I tell people all the time: exercise is key. Exercise cures everything! Got a cold? Exercise that mucus out! Got a headache? Run and work through the pain? Got cramps? Go for a jog.

So because I don't want to die of a blood clot, I will start exercising more. Because exercise = skinny. And my only quest in life is to be skinny. Oh, and rich. Oh and powerful. And feared...just a little. And how do we accomplish all of those things? With exercise.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 


So I'm trying to bag another client (I don't think I told y'all about that one...I tend not to blog about work). Anyway, he suggested we hit up an early happy hour. I wanted to go to a local place, but then he responded, " OK, Early Happy hour? I have a couple national customers that I have not spent much time in?" I thought he meant that he had some other folks who wanted to join us. So my reply was, " Fabulous. The more the merrier. In that case let's go to Champps. It's more of an environment for a larger crowd." To which he responded, " I meant national chains (like champps) rather than actual people, so You and I at Champps sounds great."

Yes! I've already displayed my intellectual prowess to him! It's like the account is in the bag!

Monday, November 07, 2005 

Broke Face

Apparently The Cop broke his face last night playing basketball. I told him to tell eveyone that I beat him and he's in an abusive relationship. Because, really, it's not that far from the truth.

Sunday, November 06, 2005 

Congrats are in Order

I haven't said anything about my girl's success, but since she's featured on the front page of the Dallas Morning News this morning, I think it's time to say something.

My former co-worker, Cossie, started her own magazine,
Y:L. The mag is like Seventeen or YM but it's focused primarily on black tweens and teens. Altho she likes mags like Seventeen and YM, she saw that young black females sometimes have issues and concerns that aren't addressed in those magazines. So she started a mag to deal with those issues. Cos called me last night and let me know her pic was on the front of the DMN and there was an article about her and her mag in the Texas Living portion of the paper.

So you, my reader (yes, I know that's singular), please check out Y:L. If you're in Dallas, there are a couple of newstands that you can pick up the physical copy from. If you're outside of Dallas, stop by the site and buy an issue or a subscription. Even if you're not black or a tween, you'd be helping an entrepreneur gradually make it to the top. And you can be proud to know you supported her when she was first making it!

Saturday, November 05, 2005 

Got a Gun in my pocket

I went to Detroit last night because The Cop and I were supposed to go to the Johnnie Walker Journey of Taste. Basically it's a promotional drink fest where they let you taste scotch and give away prizes at the end. I RSVP'd and was looking forward to this night for two weeks. When I got to his house, he still wasn't out of the shower and he subsequently changed his clothes 3 times! So we were late. And when we got there, we saw an actual line outside the center where they were holding it. I held my tongue. I really wanted to go but there was no way I was gonna stand in any line. So we bounced and went to Agave instead. I was real excited to go. I had a margarita and we chit chatted over chips and salsa. I was proud of The Cop. He's usually not one to try new things, but he tried both types of salsa they brought us and he actually liked it. I like pushing him out of his boundaries like that.

Since we missed my event, I told him he had to plan the rest of the night. We decided to stay Downtown Detroit (since I had his gun in my purse) and headed over to Centaur. As we parked, we saw this homeless/crackhead man walking toward my car. I knew he was probably hustling something for a few bucks, but I wasn't really intersted in talking to the man. See kids, this is why I'm such a bitch. Whenever I'm downtown by myself, I always keep a pissed off look on my face. That way, when the homeless do approach me looking for money, I give them an angry look and keep walking.

Anyway, The Cop decided to at least hear the man out. He asked us if we had kids, because he had this pass to go see The Polar Express at the IMAX theatre. (Like, wasn't that movie released this time last year!?) So I remarked, "I don't like children. Don't you see how good I look? I'm not ruining my body with kids." And The Cop told him that he has nephews and listened to the guy's spill. I kept remarking that I had to pee so maybe the guy would just leave us be. The Cop told the guy he'd catch him when we left the bar. Then the homeless guy looked at us and said, "I'm not one to really say anything about interracial relationships....but I just get so mad when I see a fine sista like her with a white guy." To which The Cop responded, "You think she could do better, right? Yeah, I sometimes think that too."

Centaur was nice. It was real loungy and we talked and had one drink. We were going to go across the street for one last round, but it was getting late and he had to work this morning. See, I can be responsible sometimes. So we went home, he bought my gas for me (I was so happy) and that was that. He let me sleep in at his place when he went to work this morning. And I didn't rifle thru his shit or steal anything from him. I think he's training me well!

Oh, and I guess you're wondering why I had his gun last night. When his gun was in his pocket, you could totally see it, so I got to carry it for the night. I suggested we knock over a liquor store while we were out, but he said it wasn't a good idea. Whatever.

Oh, and I suggested a memorial for the dog. He was grateful that I offered but said it was a private thing, so I'm off the hook! I think I will get him a nice card tho, cause sometimes my soul isn't dead on the inside.

Thursday, November 03, 2005 


I'm sitting at the computer chatting with a friend, reading some celebrity news. I've prepared for my weekend away. I've washed dishes. I've taken out the trash. I'm stalling because I don't want to shave my legs. It's really unfair. The Cop doesn't bother shaving until we walk out the door to go somewhere. If we decide to stay in, he doesn't shave. Me, I have to prepare to shave a whole freaking day in advance! Ugh. Ok. It's 10:00. I'm hitting the shower.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 

Black Man!

So I read this bit this morning. Basically there's this black guy who's running under the Republican ticket in Michigan for the US Senate seat. I don't really think the Republicans were really behind him, but it seems that he raised a lot of money and the GOP is supposedly trying to lure blacks and minorities to the party. Well, today, the Sheriff of Oakland County (read:Oakland County is one of the wealthiest counties in the country) finally decided to throw his hat into the ring to run against Black Man for the GOP nomination. You should see how fast the endorsements are dropping from Black Man. Now, I know what the Republican party is saying. You play to win, and if you really think that the Sheriff has a better chance to beat the Dem incumbant, well, you should naturally back the Sheriff. I totally understand that argument. I play to win too. But damn, it doesn't really make you look like the hero when you abandon the Black Man as soon as something better comes along. My undestanding is that many GOP whites weren't really all that excited about Black Man, so maybe they wouldn't vote. So, to not risk losing those strong white votes to gain new black votes, they'd rather get a stronger (albeit he just happens to be white) candidate to secure those loyal GOP votes.

But can you really blame the GOP? I mean, they did nominate a woman to be Supreme Court Justice, then threw he to the wolves and went with the sure win white male. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not defending the Ultimate Bachelorette. I seriously think I had more judicial experience than her, and some people have argued that I can't read. But I see a pattern. First, pretend you have a soul and thta you don't drink virgin baby blood by selecting a minority as a candidate. Next, ditch 'em and go with a sure win white male. Really, it's a win for everybody!

It's ok, Black Man. You can come back home to the Dems. I'm not promising that we'll treat you any better, but at least we're not blatant about it.

Apparently someone was on the same soapbox as me today. Read what she has to
say. (reg. req.)

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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