Thursday, May 31, 2007 

To My Dearest Baloo

Dear Baloo,

I’m writing this as a blog entry because I’m tired of discussing this with you. And I know you don’t know where to find my blog so you won’t be reading this either.

Get over yourself. You whine and complain that I’m not spontaneous. Yet when I get drunk on a Wednesday night and want to sit and make fun of all the idiots on So You Think You Can Dance with you, you sit there and look annoyed and tell me “to be good.” (Translation: It’s not nice to make fun of idiots who make a fool of themselves on TV.) So, by the end of the night I start ignoring you much in the same way that you are ignoring me. I don’t remember what happened next as I passed out. That’s probably a good thing.

I came back downstairs this morning to give you a proper kiss goodbye. I was annoyed that you were whiny because of your bad case of poison ivy. And I thought I could have been a little more patient with you. That’s why I came back down to give you a kiss. Unfortunately I have a slight problem with ants for some reason, and yes, I sprayed them with Raid. There was no reason for you to question whether the Raid was meant for indoor use. Do you really think I’m that much of an idiot to use outdoor poisons indoors? If you remember one thing about me, remember this. I survived on my own (and most days I would argue much better) before you entered my life. I’ve sprayed Raid in my house before and haven’t managed to kill myself, so I must be doing something right. Maybe when you get off your ass and get a career and stop depending on mommy and daddy to fund your existence, I’d be more apt to listen to you. But since I have a degree from a prestigious school, since I have a house (which I bought on my own), and since I’m the one with a career, let’s just say that when it comes to common sense things, I’m more than a leg up on that stuff than you.

Now, I know the words that I’ve said are harsh. And I know that I’m a bitch who likes to laugh at other people’s misfortunes. So you’re probably sad by all of this. May I suggest you go and cry on the shoulder of your “best friend.” Although you won’t admit it, I’ve told you on more than one occasion that the reason she doesn’t like me is because she wants you. And I in turn have made it very clear to you that I don’t like her because she was cold to me when I met her on New Years. I know you want me to give her a ‘second chance’ but I’ve told you upfront that that won’t be happening. As far as I’m concerned, bitch has made her bed and now she’s gonna have to lie in it. I will not go out of my way to be nice or even cordial to her. She’s going to have to prove to me that she’s a good enough person for me to waste my breath on. And if you don’t like that, I suggest you find solace in her arms. Who knows, maybe the two of you can work it out. You already have so much in common. Why, I believe you even use the same razor for your facial hair.

So that, my dear Baloo, is how I feel. I’m sick of being a superwoman for you and you don’t have to decency to cut me any slack. Smitty emailed me last night. Oh, you don’t know who Smitty is because you like to pretend that I didn’t have lovers before you. Well let me tell you briefly. Smitty is an executive at a major corporation in Detroit. He broke me heart but still manages to keep in touch with me. In the past I’ve ignored his emails because I wanted to respect what we had going. But I’ve decided to reply for the last couple of days. I always thought Smitty was the prefect match. Even though he did attend a state school, he actually completed his masters, has lived abroad, and like I said, is an executive. But don’t be jealous. Apart from his successes, he tends to be an asshole and even though we’ll probably make plans to meet for a drink, he’ll cancel. He’s undependable like that.

Oh yes, but back to the point. I’m going to leave you alone for a while. Like I said, I don’t plan on sharing this with you. In fact, I don’t plan on telling you any of this. There’s no point. Instead I plan to just leave you alone for a while. Let you wallow in the misery of your poison ivy. I do plan on making plans for the weekend and having a grand time without you. You’re welcome to have some more of my time when you come to your senses.



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Friday, May 25, 2007 

Men and Their Thoughts

I just read this and it reminded me of a conversation I had recently with my lovely boyfriend. I never imagined that men think about sex all that much. I for one, do not think about sex until halfway through the time it’s over. That’s why it amazes me that men can think about it nearly 24-7. Which is amusing. Baloo stole a pair of scrubs from the hospital for me. Whenever I wear the bottoms, he’s automatically drawn to my ass and tells me how good I look in them. And he can’t stop touching me. It really is like a magnate. While I’m thinking about comfortable house wear, he’s thinking sex. And don’t let me be in the kitchen stirring something furiously. Because he has to be right there beside me watching, and occasionally reaching out to touch me.

I think thinking about sex nonstop could be tiring. I’m already bored of the topic and I haven’t even gotten to the end of this post. I’d rather think about my dream house or my next job or when I’ll be able to finally afford to take that trip abroad. Maybe if I thought about sex more, my life would be less complicated.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007 

Why I Love My Job

Because while coming back to the office from lunch, one of my bosses and I had a conversation about the benefits of legalizing weed.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007 

Creepy Old Men

Tiffy and I are going to the NASCAR race in June. I introduced Tiffy to NASCAR last year and now she loves it. Don’t worry. I pray for her soul every chance I get. I’m going with her just to tag along. We usually get prime access to the race and the drives, so if anything else I can just rub elbows. So anyway, Tiffy is dating a guy who we met in Atlanta. This guy (we’ll call him Evan) is friends with the guy who hooks us up with tickets, Paul. Paul is about 50 and married. So last night Tiffy called Paul and asked for tickets to the June race. Paul agreed and added that he gets jealous whenever Evan talks about the time he and Tiffy spend together because apparently Paul wants to be with Tiffy. Ewww! Dirty old man.

What is up with old men who are dirty? Now, I don’t think Paul has the cojones to act upon his ‘feelings’ but it’s nasty that he would even try to mac on his friend’s girl like that. People.


Thursday, May 17, 2007 

Kiki's Commentary

So the big news in Lansing is a judge who is being investigated for a series of things. Most notable to me at least, are her excessive absences, claiming that another judge was meddling in her court affairs, not paying for gas at a gas station, and claiming discrimination.

I read the summary of the complaint in the newspaper, and I have a few things to say about it.

1) Some of what she says I believe to be true. I believe that another judge was probably meddling in her courtroom affairs and not letting her run her court the way she saw fit. However, I also believe in professionalism. Being the first black judge in Ingham County (appointed in 1990 no less) is something of an accomplishment. And with increased responsibilities comes increased professionalism. I don’t excuse the excessive absences. I also don’t excuse the falsifying of records if it did occur. However, I also believe that she was being scrutinized because she is black and a woman. Is that fair? Of course not. But I’ve always been taught since I was knee-high to a duck that I would always be judged differently than everyone else. That’s the reason why I was always encouraged to get a good education, keep my nose clean, and do a job better than anyone else. Because then there would be no reason for anyone to come to me and try to falsely accuse me of things.

2) I also believe that this Judge took liberties in her work. She probably saw some of her white counterparts taking days off and bending the rules. The problem with bending the rules is that you need to do it within a certain constraint. I have a better argument saying that Sally comes to work 10 minutes late everyday and that’s the reason I leave 10 minutes early everyday. I have less of an argument if Sally comes in late 10 minutes everyday yet I decide to take a 3 hour lunch everyday. Of course you’re going to get reprimanded for going that far outside of the rules.

3) There was also an incident about her refusing to pay $3.00 for gas and her being snotty to the gas attendant. Is that a reason for her to lose her job? No. However, she now has an investigation against her and they will use anything bad that she has ever done in her professional life to mar her character. Is the fair? Absolutely not. But, as a professional, she should have known she has to act better.

So what is my conclusion in all of this? Do I think she’s being singled out just because she’s black and a woman? Probably. And I don’t think that’s fair. But I also think that as the first black circuit court judge, she should have set a better example for those who will come after her. In her power and position, she forgot that she was always being scrutinized – far more than her white counterparts. And she should have done a better job of obtaining her professionalism. I’m sad that this has happened to her and she had to go through this, but I hope that other females –both black and white – (and black men too while we’re on the subject) learn that it’s still a good-ole-boys club. And until things change (which I don’t see happening soon) you will always be judged harsher than others. So you might as well play within the system and don’t take liberties that you know will eventually get you kicked out of the club.

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007 

Guard Yourselves. Marriage is the new Epidemic.

Baloo and I played tennis last night. I adore tennis. I’m pretty good when I play regularly and naturally, I have a huge competitive streak. The first time Baloo and I went out, he wasn’t that great. For some reason, he was pretty good this time. And naturally I pouted about it internally. Great, here was one other thing that Baloo was better than me at. Well, he’s not really better than me at tennis, I just wasn’t warmed up enough. By the time the rain came, I was getting some pretty good shots in. He knew that I was pouting and tried to make the best of it even though I was spoiling the mood.

Later on that evening he was with me when I called my Roomie and congratulated her on her engagement. I’m so excited for her. Not only did she complete her Master’s degree this weekend, but she got engaged too. I’m so proud of her. But Baloo could tell when I got off the phone that I was in contemplative mode. I was wondering about us. Friends getting married does that to a girl. Now Baloo and I are in no way ready to get married. And really, we’ve never talked about officially getting married. It’s always vague things like moving to Denver together and soliciting his dad to build our dream house. Those thoughts are never prefaced by ‘after we’re married.’ It’s almost like the elephant in the room. But last night, even when I was thinking about us, Baloo took the time to indulge me. I have a lot of problems with long term commitment as it’s something that I’m not immediately familiar with. Baloo’s parents have been together for eternity, his brother has been married for 4 years, and he has an extended family the size of the population of a small African country. So he’s more in tune with what it takes to make things last. So, in all my poutiness, Baloo wrapped me up in his arms and first scolded me for taking my best friend’s happiness and making it all about me. And then assured me that he loves me and I love him. And we’ll work at our own pace to set what’s right for us.

So, in conclusion: CONGRATULATIONS, ROOMIE! I can’t wait to host parties and make preparations and do all that other stuff that’s involved in preparing for your big day! Ohh, and hosting your bachelorette party. Cause you know with me, it’s gonna be KrzyKiki style!

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Monday, May 14, 2007 


An addendum:

This is one of those more for me than for you posts.

My weight really does freak me out. I’m a control freak. This weekend I went shopping, did yardwork, baked cookies, cooked dinner, and went to the movies with a friend. When I woke up this morning I wondered if there was more I could have done. I felt like I wasted away my weekend. So the whole thing about me losing weight is freaking me out. Basically I weigh right now more than I ever have. (This statement probably isn’t true. Actually, during my last weigh in, I weighed 2 pound more than my ‘ideal’ weight. I tend to have a flair for the dramatic.) And there’s probably a reason why those size 4 shorts were a little tight. My problem is that I lack willpower. Or I go to extremes. In my kitchen right now I have 4 chocolate chip cookies and 2 burgers that I grilled last night for dinner. The goal is to give the cookies to Baloo (he’ll be more than happy to take them off my hands) and eat the burgers in moderation. I’m also going to the gym tonight. Granted, I have lost about a pound in the last week, but it’s not good enough for me. I want instant gratification, and I want it now. My biggest problem lies in the fact that I want to be the perfect little girlfriend. I’m an excellent cook. In fact, I cook more now that I’m with Baloo than I ever cooked before. And all that cooking has added up to me being a fatty. Combine that with the fact that I’m 25 and my metabolism is slowing down and I’m a wreck right now.

For my superbowl party last year I dropped a massive amount of weight. I went on a liquid diet for a month. All I could eat were slimfast shakes and yogurt. Oh, and bananas. Was it healthy? No. But it worked. I’m trying to do the liquid diet again but I always cheat on the weekends. I haven’t put up a new picture on myspace or facebook because I think I look hefty in all the pictures recently taken of me. Of course Baloo doesn’t think I’m fat. He just doesn’t want me to get so skinny and unhealthy that I can’t have sex anymore. Which I find funny. However, I do want all the skimpy lingerie I have to look sexy, not like a bloated whale is trapped in Victoria’s Secret silkies.

So this month is dedicated to weight loss. Not only do I want to get back to my desired weight, but I also want for the circumference of my waist to fit into the size guides of all the major clothing labels. I’m committed to doing this and I will be back to a size 4 by the end of the month.

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The Weekend

I had a relaxing weekend. I’m still in fat mode. I just think I’m obese. My face looks fat to me, and if my face looks fat, the rest of my body is fat too. On Sunday I took homemade cookies to Baloo at work. He had me try on a pair of shorts. Even though they were my size, they were a bit tight. I’ve come to believe that climbing/hiking/outdoor clothes aren’t meant for black girl booties. Even though the shorts fit, I was in depression mode and I knew I had to do something about my weight. I’m hitting the gym for the month of May and limiting my calorie intake. I hope to be back down to my desired weight by the end of the month. I can’t take much more of this feeling fat. Of course, it probably also has something to do with the fact that I was PMSing last week. However, I don’t like excuses. And I think I should be able to fit into a size 4 whether I’m bloated or not.

I made Baloo go home for Mother’s day on Saturday since he was working on Sunday. For a person whose parent’s pretty much still fund his existence, I don’t know why I had to pull teeth for him to go home and visit his mother, but I did. And he went. And I got him to do what I wanted him to do. So in the end, I won.

Other than some shopping and yardwork, I went to the movies and finally saw Blades of Glory with our friend from down the street. It was highly entertaining and very funny. A great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

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Thursday, May 10, 2007 

To All My Gangsters, Hustlers, and Players

This is directed to you. I don’t react to the ‘game’ that you spit. This morning while standing in line at the Quality Dairy to buy a PowerBar, an older gentleman (I’m thinking around 50) asked me if I were a model. Honestly, he took me by surprise as at first I didn’t hear him. When his words finally registered in my brain, I looked at him and gave him a funky look. He got mad and said, “Damn, girl. You can’t respond to people.” Listen, I didn’t hear you. And frankly, I didn’t think you received a response.

Then yesterday I was driving home from work. It was a nice day and I had my hair back in a bun and my signature sunglasses that take up most of the entirety of my face. A man in a red Pontiac Grand Am (I know, hot!) pulls up beside me and honks his horn to get my attention. I ignore him and stare straight ahead. When we get to the next light, he gets bolder and rolls down his window and starts shouting at me. “Hey! Hey! How you doing? You look good!” Riiight! I sped up and lost him at the next light.

In conclusion, I don’t respond to ‘pimp’ calls. So stop trying to use those tactics on me. However they do make me feel good about myself. Just goes to show that Kiki’s still got it!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 


Baloo makes hot dogs with peanut butter. Which is ok, because I eat hot dogs with mayonnaise. But I was curious about the peanut butter and hot dogs. Turns out, it’s pretty good. We had hot dogs with peanut butter, spicy mustard, relish, tomatoes, and onion. Yummy.

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Monday, May 07, 2007 

Cadillac, Michigan

This weekend we went to Cadillac, Michigan. Why? Because I seek adventure and Baloo is a good sport. I had a free night’s stay at McGuire’s Resort and a free round of golf. So we set out on Saturday to face our adventure.

First, let me explain that I’m a city girl. The suburb I grew up in in Texas has just a few over 100,000 people. I thought it was a small town. Imagine my surprise when we drove into Cadillac and discovered the downtown area was about 3 blocks long. Always willing to make the best of things, we got out and walked around. To it’s credit, we settled in at Shay Station Coffee. It was very nice and the bathrooms were very clean. While we were waiting around enjoying the downtown life, Baloo and I decided to play a game they had sitting on the table, Table Topics. Do not play this game, as it will ruin your relationship. Well, not really. I guess we just discovered a few things about each other that we haven’t expressed before. One question asked, “What do you miss most/love about being single.” My answer: being single is less expensive (cause I always had a bevy of boys to buy my drinks and dinner). Baloo’s answer: “I miss my alone time.” Now really, this didn’t upset me. I just never knew he felt that way. I guess since we live next door to each other, we do spend an awful lot of time together. But now that I know that alone time is something he misses, I’m going to be more willing to let him have it. Besides, the more alone time I give him, the more he’ll miss me. See, I know how this works!

Before we checked in to the ‘resort’ we stopped and had Mexican food to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. This was the most diversity we saw during our entire stay in Cadillac, MI. Well, apart from the black person we saw walking down the street in the downtown area which we both commented on! We didn’t do anything on Saturday. We just spent time together. We would have gone out, but there was nowhere to go. We did go down to the restaurant to enjoy the live music. That consisted of a man playing folk songs on a guitar. We figured we could think of more exciting things to do alone in our room. Also, I don’t think people should just throw around the term ‘resort.’ When I think of resort, I think of 5 star with lots of amenities. Now, our room was clean and nice, and we did have cable, but I would not classify the grounds as a resort. At least not by my standards.

The trip was redeemed when me played golf on Sunday. Turns out, I’m not that bad. I’m not that good, but I’m also not that bad. We had an awesome time playing golf and I hope to do more of that when we’re in town. Another reason I don’t like small towns: things aren’t open on Sundays! We went back to Shay Coffee on Sunday after we checked out to kill time before our tee time. Trouble was, the coffee shop was closed. Also closed: the European Café. We ended up at a roadside diner for breakfast that was quaint but good. At that roadside diner we also saw a very obese woman inquiring about the food on the breakfast buffet versus the food on the lunch buffet. Lady, maybe you should lay off the buffets for a while. Your heart will thank you.

So, overall, it was a nice way to spend some quality time with my honey. The only sour part of the trip was caused by me on the drive home. Baloo happened to mention that he didn’t want to go to med school in Michigan. That took me aback. He needs to complete all his prereqs which will take about a year. Then he’ll take the MCAT and apply to schools. I still have about 3 years before I’m done with grad school and I can leave. I wanted to know where this put us. He didn’t want me to worry, telling me that we’ve only been together for 7 months. There’s no guarantee that we’ll be together when we get to that point. And, if we are, we have to just cross that bridge when we get there. Not very comforting to a girl who has had her career planned for nearly a decade. So I’m gonna try to not worry and just focus on the fun times that we’ll have. He is right and I do worry too much.

So that was our trip to Cadillac, MI.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007 

Sheesh! It's been a full month!

My boyfriend thinks I’m incapable of love. Well, not so much incapable of love, just incapable of loving another breathing human being. I had a long day. I’m finally getting more responsibilities at work and I’m loving it. This usually means that I’m dead tired and frazzled at the end of the day. Throw in a final exam today that I haven’t properly prepared for (because of more work duties) and PMS, and you’ve got a totally worked up Kiki. We were lying on the couch watching the news when a story about President Reagan’s diaries was on. He talked about how much he loved Nancy. I made the offhand comment that I couldn’t phantom being the most powerful leader in the free world and still getting gushy about my spouse. Maybe I shouldn’t have opened my mouth.

Because the next thing I knew we were having a ‘discussion.’ Baloo seems to believe that I will forever be a workaholic who never takes time for the enjoyment of life. I tried to explain to him that right now I’m at the bottom of the food chain at work. I can’t just take off a week and go wherever like my bosses do. I have to pay my dues. Plus, I feel a lot of pressure to perform to provide the extravagant things that Baloo wants (not now, of course. He pays for his own shit now). He’s the one who’s taken 2 vacations and bought the most expensive iPod on the market while I’m the one who paid to get dead tree branches removed so they won’t fall on my neighbor’s house and I won’t get sued. I’ve made choices in my life that don’t allow me to have fun right now. I have a mortgage. And yes, I’d rather be able to pay that on time every month rather than take an extended vacation to who knows where. A vacation is temporary. A mortgage is building equity.

I was adamant about my decision last night. I may not be lovey dovey like he is. But I have a greater plan. I have goals. And it takes sacrifice and discipline to get to those goals. I’ve never loved another person because I don’t believe love is reliable. Setting goals, meeting goals, and achieving is always reliable. Because I know that if I happen to not reach a goal, there’s only one person who can be blamed, and that’s me.

But then I got a text this morning. Baloo wished me a great day and good luck on my test tonight. Maybe that’s what love is. Knowing that you’re not seeing eye to eye, but still taking the time to let the other person know that you care. I know I’m too hard on myself and I know that I put a lot of emphasis on success and social status. But I guess I could relax a little. It’s just that I’m realistic. I know that in order to have nice things in life, you have to work for them unless they’ve been given to you. And since Baloo is living on a free ride, he doesn’t understand that.

Ugh. I feel like I’m complaining. But I am and I can cause it’s my blog. I’m just planning on trying harder to make things work. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and I’m probably stressing out. We’re going to Cadillac, Michigan (don’t ask) this weekend so hopefully we’ll have some good, quality alone time together to enjoy each other.

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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