Tuesday, December 25, 2007 

Wake Up, People!

I didn't know how to embed the video in my blog, but take a look at this link. Even if you don't read the whole thing, at least watch the video.

I think this has to go under my list of "Things I Don't Like About Texas." Sigh.

Click Here.


Monday, December 24, 2007 

Things I Like About Texas

I like that it's always sunny in Texas. When I arrived I was able to lay out. Not in a bikini. Lord knows I'm not skinny enough for that to take place. But I layed out in the front porch for about an hour. Then, by the time I went out to go shopping, the temp had dropped and the wind was so high I swear I was temporarily blown to Oklahoma!

Things are going ok this year with Daddy Kiki. I still don't like being here. Baloo told me to just suck it up and stop being so judgmental. It's weird being in a strange house. Everything is so different. And Daddy Kiki acts like a kid himself, so it's hard to be serious like I normally am. I guess I could find 1000 things wrong with this situation, but I have to make the best of it. I have a book, so that's been helpful. And, I've scheduled things to do everyday so we don't have a lot of free time on our hands. That's what causes the bickering. Baloo says I should just try to talk it out. However, we're not a cute black Huxtable family. When DK doesn't want to talk about something, he says, "I'm not having this conversation with you." and walks out. So you see what I'm going through here.

DK had a colonosccopy on the first day I was back. I don't know if any of y'all have seen your parents in the hospital, but it's not exactly fun. Seeing him all laid up in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of him and him being all confused from the anesthetics was not pretty. Which makes me wish he dies in bed one day instead of in a hospital. Don't worry. He wants it that way too.

Sorry I don't have any lovely interesting stories to tell. It's just that I really don't' like being here. I actually dread coming home every Christmas. I don't know if that makes me a bad person, but it does make me an honest person.

I hope everyone else is having a merry Christmas right now!

Update: Things I like about Texas include sitting out on Christmas day, soaking up some sunshine. I also like grilled turkey. Although I guess you don't necessarily have to have that in Texas.

This is something I DON'T like about Texas. Sigh. You'd think we would have progressed.....

I also don't like my Baloo being sad that I've been away for so long and that his family abandoned him for Christmas and he spent it alone with the cat. Somehow, I hope this teaches him to NEVER again leave me alone for another holiday. But, because I am human, I do feel sorry for him.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 

Baking Queen

I realize that it's after midnight, but I've put all my Christmas music on CDs and I plan on baking for the rest of the night. We're celebrating Christmas tomorrow with Ma and Pa Baloo and I'm baking Red Velvet Cupcakes. What do y'all think? I like to bake southern things to remind those Yankees that I'm a Southern Woman who knows how to cook!

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Wednesday, December 12, 2007 


I don't have a lot of cashmere. It's hella expensive. And if I did own cashmere, I would wear everything in the J. Crew catalogue! However, I did wear a cashmere turtleneck to work today. And I dated it, fell in love with it, married it, and had tiny cashmere babies with it all during the course of a day. That doesn't make me weird, does it?

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Monday, December 10, 2007 

Drunk Again

So I'm drunk. It was really an accident. It started with a glass of wine with my fresh slices of Parmesan and honey. Then one glass turned into four glasses while watching season 6 of Will and Grace. Then four glasses of wine turned into hunger. And hunger turned into two blue cheese stuffed olives and a shot of premium vodka. And now I'm here. In front of my computer. Not working on my take home final that's due on Friday morning. I'm so sick of writing. I've been writing for the last two weeks. Why do I have another writing assignment due. I blame the writer's strike. If they weren't on strike, I wouldn't be drunk. And listening to Kylie!

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Let's Have Some Decorum

Baloo and I went to the theatre last night to see Spamalot. It was a lot of fun. However, I had a complaint. Why don't people get dressed up to go to the theatre anymore? When I was in high school, one of my jobs was an usher at the live thetres in town. I had to wear a tuxedo and most patrons dressed up. Of course, when Jeff Foxworthy came to town, the patrons were dressed down more, but for the most part, women wore black pants/skirts, and the men wore khakis or nice dress slacks. I was appalled last night. I saw so many people in jeans. Both young people and adults. I even saw one person wearing jeans and a Camo jacket. Come on people. If you're going to pay more than $50 for a ticket, the least you could do is wear something nice. I'm not asking for ball gowns and tiaras, but just look like you showered and tried. I was especially mad at the parents for not making their teenagers dress more appropriately. However, the parents were fashion victims as well.

Other than that, the production was great. Baloo has a great time as he really likes Monty Python, and he was able to get a picture with a part of the cast, so that made him happy as well. It's nice going out like that with him.

So, what do y'all think? Are jeans appropriate at the theatre?

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Friday, December 07, 2007 

Not Quite Sure

I don't know how I feel about Baloo's Sister-in-law, Julie.

First, let me explain something. I don't have a lot of family. And I LOVE it that way. I don't like to have a ton of people around. I have a total of 5 friends, and I like my life uncomplicated and quiet. I guess you can say when it comes to friends and family, I'm very conservative. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of people coming in and out of the house. Daddy Kiki didn't have any outside friends, and we liked our life that way. Ok. So let me tell the story.

I came home last night in between work and class to stop by and meet Julie. When I walked in the door, Old Man Baloo and Baloo were coming from downstairs where it had appeared Baloo gave his dad the grand tour. Already I wasn't happy. I don't like strangers going all through my house. And I don't like Baloo giving a tour of my house like it belongs to him. I didn't say anything at the time, but I took notice.

Old Man Baloo also liked to touch things. I grew up in a house where everything was nice and in it's place. It's not that I couldn't touch things. That wasn't the case. It was just that when I went to someone else's house, I was very behaved. I kept my hands in my lap, sat quietly, and only spoke when I was spoken to. Old Man Baloo was everywhere. He was examining my cell phone, which I laid on the counter. He constantly was going to the window pulling back the sheers to see if his buddy was up the street. (This would have been a no no in my house!)

Then Julie finally came out of the shower. We only spoke for a second because I had to jet off to class and she was getting ready to go to a dinner.

I was concerned because Julie would be returning back to my house before I returned from class, and before Baloo got off work. That meant I'd have to face Julie on my own. At first I thought I would just stall and run errands, but then I thought, "This is my house. I shouldn't have to hide from MY house." So I went to the store, picked up a bottle of Ketel One and some blue cheese stuffed olives, and headed home.

And that's when Julie and I spent some one on one time together. I went in an offered her a drink. She refused. We were already off the wrong start. She explained that she does drink, but that she didn't want to drink so late at night before her interview. No excuse! Besides, we were only having one drink, and I thought it would help break the ice. So I sat on the couch and watched Grey's (which I never see due to class) and she went into the office and worked on my computer. Ok. She came and watched the last 15 minutes of Grey's with me. She was really quiet and shy. And I was trying to be more open as well. During the commercials they were showing clips from the upcoming Barbara Walters Special of the 10 Most Fascinating People. When I saw Vickie B. I announced to no one in particular, "I LOVE HER." And I do. I love Vickie B. I feel like I could drink with her and make fun of people. And I feel she would call me names cause I'm not as thin as her and then I'd develop and eating disorder and we'd become even greater friends. That's how I see it working out. Anyway, so I tell Julie that I love Vickie B. and she gives me this look. I tell her that Vickie is very down to earth and funny and that bitch face she puts on is just an act. "Why would anyone not want to let people see the real them?" Julie asked. Oh dear. I wanted to tell her that it's always better to be aloof, because people are evil and only a select few should know your real personality (this coming from a girl who had about 3 aliases when she was single and dating). Julie didn't agree. I wasn't liking this.

She ended up going to bed before Baloo came home. I asked her what her plans were for the rest of the week seeing that her flight doesn't leave until Tuesday. She said she didn't know. She asked if she could leave her stuff here. She might go up north and spend some time with Baloo's family. But she didn't know. It kills me that she doesn't have firm plans.

I talked to Baloo about it last night. He brought up the fact that Old Man Baloo thought the house was properly constructed. That's when I told Baloo that it's not his house and he had no right to take his father on a tour of MY house. He said he was sorry and he understood. I don't think I'll ever be Julie. Julie is voluntarily going up north to spend time with Baloo's mother without the protection of her husband. I could/would never do that. I fear I may get drunk and insult someone or just plain be mean. Not because I don't like his family. But because it's what I do when I feel uncomfortable. I drink and say inappropriate things. It happens. Baloo said he didn't want me to be Julie and if I never want to spend and unsupervised afternoon with his mother, he completely understands. And he's understanding how I like MY things and I don't like to share and he's going to have to respect that.

So that's my story about meeting Julie. I just feel that our families are totally different. Daddy Kiki is very proper. Our family doesn't talk about things. Save that we're black, we'd make the perfect WASPs. We're a bit uptight with strangers, we're fairly judgmental, we have proper manners, we don't touch things, we're not loud, and we only like our own. God help us all if these two families ever meet!

Update: I forgot to add that Julie has yet to provide me with a 'thanks for letting me crash at your place' gift. I find that very rude and not at all proper etiquette.

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Thursday, December 06, 2007 

What Should I Name This Post?

Baloo's Sister-in-law, Julie comes into town today. I'm really nervous. When Baloo told me that I may get home before he does and I'll have to meet her by myself I totally balked at that. I'm determined to go to Target or Best Buy after class just so I don't have to meet her by myself.

Baloo and I have been arguing lately about his inability to be a grownup. I think that I bear most of the responsibility in the relationship and I called him on it. So we've been dealing with that for the past couple of days. He broke down and told me last night that all he has to bring to the relationship is his student loan debt. And he's afraid of that. Finally! We get to some answers! I don't plan on helping Baloo out with his student loans. That's his debt. Just like my loans and my mortgage are my debt. But I will try to help him spend his money wisely and we'll get through it together.

I was also complaining (I'm on a roll) about how I'm not comfortable with Julie staying with me because I don't know her. Baloo told me that there's nothing we can do now but make the best of the situation and I need to "just deal with it." WHAT? Did he just talk back to me and take control of the situation and shut me up? OMG! He totally did! And I liked it! I didn't have a leg to stand on after he said that. I like the new take control Baloo.

And he ended by saying, "If you want to be a part of the family, you have to get along with the family. And Julie is part of the family. So play nice. I know you're going to love her." And that was that. I guess if I want to get serious about being a part of the family, I have to play nice.

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007 

What Goes on Inside My Head

The following are things I wrote down in class last night:

I sat in class today and could think of nothing besides a Ketel One Martini with a blue cheese stuffed olive and a splash of olive juice.

I had a meeting today with a 98 year old man. I kid you not. And he had all of his faculties. I think he could beat me in a foot race.

Baloo left his phone in my car last night and he frantically IMed me at work looking for it. I found it. And I had access to all of his phone numbers. So I stole the good ones. I'm crafty like that.


Monday, December 03, 2007 

Hello New Reader

I have a new reader. Well, she's not really new. She's been reading my blog for a while but has just become a regular reader. Everyone say hello to the new chica. Also, encourage her to sign up so she can post comments. Now I' have to update more regularly to keep an audience.

So Baloo's sister-in-law is coming to visit this week. Well, she's not so much coming to visit as she has some job interviews and The Dungeon is her new hotel. And this is the week that I have TWO 20+ papers due! I'm anxious to meet her, but it's just really bad timing. So anyway, I got kinda peeved at Baloo last night. Because I like being passive aggressive. I was kinda peeved at Julie (his sis-in-law) because she has made all these plans about her schedule and no one has communicated anything to me. No phone call or email or anything. But Baloo was a good boyfriend and cleared the air last night and we've been exchanging emails. I think I'll like her because her husband (Baloo's brother) told me that I was just like Julie. The only thing I hate about Julie already? She's hella skinny. Like 'had an eating disorder in the past' skinny. And you know how I feel about people being thinner than I am even though grad school is turning me into a 700 pound obese pig!


Oh, well, as long as she likes to drink and make fun of others, I'm sure we'll get along famously.

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Saturday, December 01, 2007 

Sex is Unfair

I'm sitting here supposed to be working on a paper, but yet I'm thinking about sex.

Do you ever think sex is unfair? And when I say unfair, I mean unfair for women. If you want a quickie, it's almost like eating a piece of chocolate. Sure it tastes good and you can savor it, but you don't get the full shebang like boys can. I find it frustrating. It's not fair that men can get off each and every time they have sex. Yet women need perfect lighting, the right smells, and the right mood. Sorry, I don't know what brought that on. Sex with Baloo is actually great. I have no complaints. But I thought I'd just mention that.

In other news, I have a paper due on Friday. I thought said paper was due in two weeks! Oops! Fortunately for me, I've done all the research and it's on a topic that I'm intimately familiar with. I should actually be typing on this paper instead of typing on my blog. Minor details.

Does this make me a bitch? So you know Baloo's BFF, Bug Eyes, who I don't like. Well we went to Ann Arbor last night to celebrate Doug's 30th birthday. Apparently Bug Eyes and Doug went out many moons ago. Doug ended up rejecting her and Bug Eyes is still in love with him. Well I met Doug's new love interest last night. I like her. I've met her before and she has a great career and lots of money. So obviously she meets my approval. But am I a bitch because I'm glad that Doug is with someone new and happy and Bug Eyes will probably be jealous and miserable to find out that he moved on? I know, I'm evil. I better watch out. Karma is a bitch. Oh, and Doug's new love interest also has bug eyes. But she's skinny and has self made money, so she's much better than Bug Eyes. Maybe Doug has a thing for that. Who knows.

Ok, back to the paper. Wish me luck. In the comments. To prove you love me!

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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