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Sunday, February 19, 2006 


I just got off the phone with Jebediah. That's what Kipper and I decided to name him. He's the 40+ y/o man who's looking for a virgin to marry. He doesn't think women should wear makeup. He doesn't smoke. He doesn't drink. His brother lives down the street from him. Yep. We're gonna get along REAL well.

Anyway, I emailed him 100 years ago and let him know that I was going to call him. I waited till a very awkward time on Sunday night to give him a ring.

And how was the conversation? Trying. It lasted 26 minutes and the only way I got through it was to watch America's Ballroom Challenge on PBS. And what did we talk about? Well first I asked him if he was out of breath. He sounded very out of breath on the phone. I was taking this as a sign that he was a fatty. He told me that he wasn't out of breath, but in fact he participated in many sports such as running, biking, and light weightlifting. I'm not convinced. I on the other hand told him that physical fitness is the most important thing to me. I work out constantly and I perfer heavy weightlifting to the 'light' weightlifting. Of course, he didn't know how to respond. When he asked me if I smile a lot, I told him that smiling causes wrinkles. He laughed. I didn't. It's fun to make peopel uncomforatble!

We (well really, he) talked a little more about working out. He asked me where I got inspired to work out. I told him it was because of my father. Daddy Kiki used to tell me as a child that no man would love me if I was fat. This, of course, isn't entirely true. But it's a fun story to tell nevertheless. Of course, Jebediah was a little taken aback. He then asked how my relationship was with my father. I told him that Daddy Kiki is the best. Then quickly added that I don't talk about my family. He thought I was being defensive. I told him I wasn't. I just don't talk about my family.

We ended when I told him Daddy Kiki just buzzed in on the other line (this was a lie). I told him that I would have to call Daddy Kiki back soon, and he should call me later. He asked what time. I told him another day.

So, it seems that bitter Kiki came out tonight, but I have a feeling I have him hooked. He actually thought we had something in common, and I think I'm a bit intriguing to him. This project to break his spirit might not be as hard as I thought!

nobody likes a fatty. it's true.

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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