Sunday, December 24, 2006 

Happy Two Days Before Kwanza



Hey Kids! I figured I'd write a post while I was here in Texas so I won't have a super long post once I get back to town. Things are going ok. Daddy Kiki and I are ok. We're not having a rocking time together, but there haven't been any fights yet, so you pretty much have to count you blessings. Let me take you back to the trouble I had getting to Texas in the first place.

Baloo and I celebrated Christmas on Thursday night. We had a lovely time. I ended up getting him a custom framed photo of one of the pictures he took while he was in Yosemite this past November. I also got him the 4th season of Family Guy. He got me a few pairs of socks (we have a thing about me not having any funky socks) as well as the game Cranium for when we have our game nights and a cool fondue set. We later went to dinner at a local mexican restaurant and had margairtas. It was a fantastic Christmas. Cut to 1:00 a.m. when I get a call from Orbitz telling me my flight out of Lansing to Chicago was cancelled. No explaination. Just that my flight was cancelled. We then spent the next hour on hold with both Orbitz and United trying to find out how I was going to get home for Christmas. I guess since I was flying to Chicago, it was too close to the Denver blizzard, so they just cancelled my flight. Thanks. Orbitz offered to refund my money and let me know that the next flight out of town wouldn't be until Christmas Day! Eek! So after being on hold with United for an hour, the very nice lady said I could get a flight out of Detroit at 6:00 a.m. Baloo, being the magnificent man that he is, volunteered to drive me to Detroit. We only had an hour of sleep and left the house at 4:00 a.m. to make my flight.

So now I've been home for a couple days. Things are so different in Texas. I went shopping tonight and they were playing religious holiday music. Also, the raido stations say 'Merry Christmas & Happy Holiday." I like that. Because even if you want to be all politically correct, you have to recognize that Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ. And people shouldn't feel like they're doing anything wrong by saying the words, "Merry Christmas."

It's also rainy here. It rained all day. It's cool. Daddy Kiki and I are going to watch movies all night anyway and eat lots of food. Then tomorrow we'll open presents, have a traditional Christmas meal (with duck instead of Turkey) and I'm not sure what else.

Merry Christmas to all y'all! I hope everyone has a nice time with family. Or at least I hope you'll be plenty drunk!

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7:33 PM | |

Saturday, December 16, 2006 

Christmastime is Here

The office party was a blast and Baloo was a hit.

Our office Christmas party was Friday after work. I was excited because we had it at the office instead of going out. We had dinner catered in to the conference room (we have a huge, nice, elegant conference room, so it wasn't like it was stuffy or anything) and then we went to the Kenny Loggins' concert. Don't ask. Bossman was nice enough to pay for everything so there was no reason to complain. Baloo had a beer before hand and everyone loved him. I won't go into details because I still won't talk about work, but it was a good time and he socializes very well.

The concert was interesting. Kenny sang the theme from A Charlie Brown Christmas. You know the one, "Christmastime is Here." It was the most depressing rendition I had ever heard. It was so slow and so sad it made me want to kill Santa. He also sang "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" with no expression whatsoever. I do believe Kenny Loggins was high. Some of the younger kids weren't into the concert at all so I made sure to embarrass them by trying to convince them to sing along and dance to the tunes. They all got a laugh out of that. They ended the evening saying I was the most entertaining part of the night. I do aim to please.

After the concert Baloo and I decided to go home and change and then go back out. However, he wanted me to keep on what I was wearing while he got a little more comfortable. I guess I should describe my outfit. I wore a pretty black silk shirtdress that buttoned all the way to the neck with ruffles. It was short so I wore a pair of thigh highs and a garter. Baloo caught a few glimpses of the garter throughout the evening and insisted I continue wearing that outfit when we went out to the bars.

The bar was interesting. I wanted to go out and dance so we decided on Rum Runners. The Rum Runners in Lansing has 2 levels. The top level has the piano bar and the bottom level is like a dance club. There's a dance floor and they play a lot of hip hop. The bar had a pretty good mix of people, but let's just say that the guys were less than savory. At one point I leaned over to Baloo and whispered that I was so glad I'm not a part of the Lansing single scene because the pickings were slim.

And this is how I know I really like Baloo. Baloo is a typical white guy. However, he was totally confident in his dancing ability and I didn't tell him otherwise. I totally grinded up on him during the booty shake songs even though he was way off beat. And he also wanted to yell above the music the entire time we were at the bar. I could tell a lot of people, both guys and girls were looking at us wondering how the hell we ended up together! It was a hoot. But I had a great time and I think he did too.

So this morning, I get a phonecall from Bossman. He had a funny story about a co-worker that I won't repeat here because it's just too embarrassing...but hilarious to me and him. He ended our conversation by saying that he was impressed by Baloo and thought he was a very nice young man. Bossman sometimes likes to look out for me since he has 2 daughters on his own and he knows Daddy Kiki is too far away to keep an eye out on me. It made me happy to know that Bossman approved.

And that's how I spent my Friday night. I just put some cookies in the oven so I hope they'll be warm by the time Baloo comes home from hanging out with his friends.

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11:15 PM | |

Thursday, December 14, 2006 

Wow. You guys are great. Just fantastic.

Believe it or not, I'm a bit of a coward. I can stand up to an under-qualified teacher, I give people in so called 'power' nasty looks, and I generally think I'm better than the average population. However, when it comes to feelings and emotions and stuff, I'm a real coward.

After my 45 minute trip to the kitchen for a glass of water, I finally returned to bed. After a couple of hours of not sleeping I got up to start getting ready for work. I started thinking again in the shower. What if he said all the things he said to me in the past and never meant any of it. I thought long and hard about it. I would still give him his Christmas presents. One was custom made and couldn't be returned anyhow. I wouldn't accept his gifts. It wouldn't be fair. I'd probably be a wreck when I was in Texas, but better to be home with Daddy Kiki wallowing in my sorrow than home by myself with a couple bottles of wine and a case of beer.

When I finally left the shower I told him that I was torn and I didn't know what to do. Lately Baloo's been working on this exercise with me called, 'talk about your feelings instead of act passive aggressive.' At first I thought it was some more of his hippie talk. But I decided to at least try it out. I let him know that if he doesn't get his act together, I'm gone. I didn't exactly say it like that, but it's pretty much what I meant. I was willing to help. I was willing to help him work out a plan. I was willing to research PA schools for him (oh, cause now he doesn't want to be a tree farmer or whatever and wants to go back to school to become a Physician's Assistant). Anything he wanted me to do, I would do it. And then he said something that shut me up for a while. I asked him if he was willing to work on a plan. He said he was. Well, why, I asked. Because I don't' want to lose you. Now if I had feelings and emotions, it would have floored me. And it did for a second. Until I started second guessing. He could have just wanted me to shut the fuck up. But no, I think he was serious. I think he's as tired as I am of going from one relationship to another and he wants to stick around for a little while. Always the cynic, I told him that I won't be fully satisfied until I see some results. And I will be looking for results. He agreed to work on a plan without my help for a little while. And I 'm going to be supportive by giving him his space.

It's funny. I put so much work into my career. I'm always willing to meet with the right people and hustle to get further. It's not easy by any means, and when I get pushed down, I take that much more effort to get back up and try again. But with a real, stable, non-crazy relationship, I want to bail the second things get a little difficult. And that's what makes me a coward.

Conclusion: Relationships are hard. But I'm willing to work at it.

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10:25 AM | |

 

Maybe It's Time We Broke Up

Now that I'm done with my exam I have a lot more time on my hands. That time has been spent knitting and being alone with my thoughts. The latter can never lead to anything good.

Baloo and I had this talk on Saturday night while we drove to his friend's house to party. We had the talk again tonight after he came to my place and crawled into my bed. I wanted to know what he was doing with his life. See, Baloo is getting his masters in trees. Trouble is, he's been working on that masters for the last two years. And he doesn't have a full time job. He has a part time job now, and as a part time student, I know how difficult it is to juggle both. So, whenever I need to study, I always invite him along to study with me. He always agrees to come and about an hour into our study session I take a peek at his laptop screen to see what he's up to. It usually has something to do with buying ski gear and equipment.

Now, I understand that I'm a highly motivated person. It's just who I am. But I'm beginning to get tired. I feel that I should probably just cut my losses now. Sure he's a wonderful person and he's treating me better than I've ever been treated by a man. But, there's something missing that's nagging at me. He lacks motivation. And I believe it was a while back that I said motivation is now something I MUST have in a man.

I've tried everything. I told him I'd sit down with him and put together a plan to finish his masters (consequentially, he only has 2 months of research and writing left to finish). My plan was to have him all wrapped up by Easter and on to other things. He didn't really scoff at my plan, but he didn't embrace it either. I asked him what he wanted me to do. Maybe I just needed to lay off and give him what he wants. But he couldn't come up with a good answer to what he wants from me.

So now I'm at the end of my rope. It's only been 2 months but I'm tired. He loves me, indulges me, and makes me feel good. But for some reason it's not enough. I guess that's the reason I'm writing this at 2:00A when I told him I was just going to the kitchen for some water.

He's excited for me to meet his best friend when she comes to town for Christmas. I'm already trying to find a way out of that, just in case we don't make it till then.

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2:05 AM | |

Saturday, December 09, 2006 

The Professor & Me

So the goal is to appear busy for the next couple hours. This is best achieved by typing on the computer in an attempt to look über busy. In most cases I would blog. However, I have no material to blog about. Unless I write a blog about what happened to me in class on Wednesday night.

Let me set the scene. I had an EXCELLENT day at work. A ton of responsibilities were thrust upon me at the very last second and I was able to get them all done. I was even recognized by an outside source for my commitment. So I felt good. I felt like I'm really growing into my job and not just pretending. So I get to class on cloud nine and I'm totally shut down.

I don't know if I've told you about my professor before. I'm currently taking a statistics class as a prerequisite. I'll have to take a grad level once my program starts, but since I've never taken a statistics class, I decided to start with an undergrad class to get a feel of the material before I'm thrust into a grad level class. Because I'm a total overachiever. Anyway, I've had it out with my professor in the past. He likes to do things like change the online notes without telling anyone, telling you that you'll be quizzed on chapter 4 then take all the quiz material from chapter three, and refusing to let you make up a quiz when you're out of town on business. So, prof probably doesn't like me. It makes no difference to me. I paid my hard earned money to take his class, and damnit, I'm going to get my learn on.

So on Wednesday we reviewed some of the old material in preparation for our Final on Monday. We got to a problem I had seen before, but had a question about. Basically, there were two word problems that, to me, looked identical. However, they were each solved differently and I couldn't figure out why. I asked him several times and he seemed to get frustrated with me. At that moment he let me know, "It's written right there in plain English!" I lost it. A kid in the back of the class was trying to help me (and the rest of the class) understand because he saw the prof's explanation was crap. I stopped dead in my tracks, looked at the professor and said, "Listen! Apparently it's not written in plain English because this is the third time I've asked you for a better explanation and you can't seem to come up with one. Now, I have questions about this problem and I'm going to continue to ask questions until I'm satisfied with the answer." At that point I turned to the kid in the back of the class and instructed him to explain the answer again to the entire class. He explained it and I understood. My professor's going to fail me.

I've always had a lot of moxie. I've never been afraid to ask questions if I don't understand. I'm just more adamant about it now. When I was at Notre Dame, I had no clue about how much it costs for three credit hours. If I didn't show up to class, I didn't care. I wasn't paying for my education. Daddy Kiki was. But now that I see the bills and I understand how much an education costs, I'm gonna do my damnest to get every penny's worth of the money I put into the university. And if my professor decides to fail me for that, so be it. I'll be sending a letter to the President of the University explaining his incompetence.

2:41 PM | |

Monday, December 04, 2006 

Daddy Kiki, Meet Baloo

Daddy Kiki met Baloo tonight. Well, he saw a picture of him. Daddy Kiki has always loved taking pictures of me. Being an only child and him being a photographer, he always wanted to take pictures of me as a child, and I grew to love being photographed. So, whenever I take pictures, Daddy Kiki usually likes me to share. Especially if the pictures are of me. Since Baloo took some pictures of me all dressed up before the auction on Friday night, I decided to share them with Daddy Kiki. Baloo and I took a couple pictures together and they were in the mix too.

Now, Daddy Kiki knows that I date white guys. He’s never met any of my boyfriends because none of them have been significant enough or stuck around long enough to get an introduction. But I am good about dropping hints. Like when I dated Smitty and I told Daddy Kiki that we went to a hockey game and Smitty explained the rules to me since he played hockey in high school. What black guys do you know who play hockey?

So I was a little nervous about showing Daddy Kiki Baloo’s picture. Previously we had just talked about Baloo. I told him that Baloo is getting his masters in trees. So obviously he knew Baloo probably wasn’t black. It’s not a typical thing black people really get masters in. So before, Baloo was just an idea. For all he knew, I made him up. Which he wouldn’t really put past me. So I sent Daddy Kiki my pictures. His response, “Beautiful pictures.” I’m a bit relieved. He’s prone to write me long drawn out emails when he thinks I’m doing something inappropriate (drinking too much) but he was short and sweet and simple. And the pictures were beautiful. Score one for Team Kiki! Next task: convincing Baloo he’s not an atheist.

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7:54 PM | |

 

Still Here

I really should do a better job of posting, but honestly, not much is going on in my life. If I'm not at work or in class, I'm with Baloo. And when I'm with Baloo, we're usually doing mundane things like going to the market to make French Onion Soup or being naughty. And with finals on the horizon, all of my other time is spent thinking about studying (because at this point I hate my professor so much that I have no intention of even doing well in the class).

So I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still here. I just don't have anything significant to say. But once I do, y'all will be the first to know.

In the meantime, go Fetch!

3:34 PM | |

Sunday, December 03, 2006 

Update

So I hate my internet. I spent all this time typing a post just to find out that my inet wasn't connected and I lost the whole thing. Ok. Let's start over.

This weekend was pretty chill. They were forecasting the storm of the millinenum this weekend so I had the good sense to bring home work on Friday. Troube was, the weather wasn't that bad. And as the person who lives the closest to work, I decided that it was much too dangerous to go in. Bossman called my bluff and said I was playing hookey. Whatever, I got some good work done anyway.

On Friday night I went to my volunteer organization's auction. It was a lot of fun. Naturally I dressed to the nines and everyone commented on my dress. I ended up getting a one nights stay at The English Inn. I thought Baloo and I could use it to get away. Little did I know that the Inn is literally 20 minutes from where we live and the free night was only for Monday - Thurs. D'oh! Oh well, I'm gonna see if I can negotiate some sort of deal.

When I got back home, Baloo had invited the couple down the street over and we played some computer game called 'You Don't Know Jack.' From this, game night was born. Since we like games so much and we tend to be a bit competitive, I suggested that we start game night ala Will & Grace. We'll have a game every other weekend and it will be hosted at the alternate house each time. Because winning is everything, we even decided that a trophy should be purchased from the local second hand shop to commemmorate each grop's victory. I'm totally stoked. I want to win every time!

On Saturday Baloo invited me to meet two of his good friends. So, we drove to Flint to hang out. By the time we got there, our host's daughter was still awake. She's two. And y'all know how I feel about children. however, I didnt' want to make a bad impression, so I sucked it up and played playdough with the kid for a while. I think everyone was delightfully deceived. Fantastic. I made sure to wash my hands of the child germs when she was finally put to bed.
Baloo's friends were very nice. They appreciated the fact that I not only laughed at their inappropriate jokes, but I made some myself. And i held my liquor well. Bravo to me. Overall, it turned out to be a successful meeting and a successful weekend.

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10:26 AM | |

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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