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Monday, June 23, 2008 

Grease Monkey

This weekend I helped Baloo out with his car. He got considerably more dirty than I did, but I did hold the flashlight, handed him various tools, and brought him water and a sandwich when I thought he needed it. Otherwise I was either reading a book out in the yard with him or watching the hick neighbors across the street.

One thing that sucks about the Michigan economy is that it's tanking. That means that my property value has gone way down and many of my neighbors have defaulted on their home loans, abandoning their property. It was a really nice neighborhood when I moved in with kids playing in yards and young families. Now, only three of the original neighbors remain.

Our new neighbors are hicks. I won't call them what I want to call them, because that's just mean. But to be nice, I'll say that they're hicks. On two occassions I've seen the woman (who I believe owns the home) having a shouting match with her baby daddy - also her currrent boyfriend - in the front yard. On one occasssion one the nice neighbors stayed in his yard watching just to make sure the baby daddy didn't hit her. Baloo and I call them the domestic dispute couple.

Anyway, domestic dispute couple decided to do some yard work while Baloo and I were working on the car. Their plan? Cut down a tree that's been in their yard for probably over fifty years. That's one of the great things about my neighborhood. Even though my house is newly built, all the other houses are old. And I live on a nice tree lined street. I can only imagine how long some of those trees have been around. Well, apparently the tree in domestic dispute couple's yard was creating too much carbon dioxide, so it had to go. So, naturally domestic dispute boyfriend calls over his hick dad and friend to take the tree down. Since Baloo is a tree hugger, he knows the proper way to prune and remove branches. He even has all the equipment to do so. The first thing the boyfriend did wrong was he had no support or harness when he climbed the offending tree. Just a chainsaw and a wobbly ladder. Fantastic, I thought! This would be my afternoon entertainment. Watching one of them seriously hurt themselves and perhaps take out the power to the entire neighborhood! Next, they decided to take down the tree the true hick way. Instead of starting at the very top and taking down branches until you get to a managable size, they decided to take down as huge of a chunk they could handle. Which, of course, resulted in them also taking down their phone and cable line. Genius! At one point they tied a rope to a branch to guide it's fall after the boyfriend made the cut. Unfortunately, they all have 4th grade educations, so the limb began falling into the house. So, they decided to tie the rope off to the back of their truck for additional strength/leverage. Baloo looked up from under the hood of his truck and whispered to me, "that rope is going to snap." And exactly two seconds later, the rope did indeed snap.

What's very fortunate is that no one got hurt and they did very minimal damage. But, they did get lucky each and every time they let some huge chunk fall to the ground. They used no skill whatsoever. And when they had cut down the beautiful tree with no damage, they grilled out and had some beers and talked about their awesome accomplishment. Good Lord I can't wait till I finish my degree so I can move out of this state!

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I hope the housing problems get better when it is time for you to sell! (-:

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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