Tuesday, January 31, 2006 

What I did today

Today I had an away message up most of the day that stated that I was scaring myself with the amount of weight I've lost this month. Kipper suggested I not blog about this since people would think I had an eating disorder and ship me off to a treatment center. Therefore, I will announce that I ate a subway sandwich for dinner tonight.

Things have been quiet. I'm still preparing for my Super Bowl party this weekend. It seems like I can't stop buying stuff. Just when I think I'm done shopping, I'm buying more stuff. Today I went to Marshall's and bought an ankle length black coat for $20. The coat isn't all the cute, but I feel if I'm gonna be standing outside clubs in Detroit waiting to get in, I might as well be warm. I would post pictures of the coat but that would require me loading my camera software into my computer, and I'm much too lazy for that.

I have a conference tomorrow afternoon so I get to miss most of work. However, I also have an 8:30 meeting as well, so that's not much for balance. I do hope to hit hte gym one last time tomorrow before my guests arrive on Friday. I should have plenty of good stories/pictures from this weekend's parties. Just you wait!

9:07 PM | |

Sunday, January 29, 2006 

I feel as if I've been duped....



Much like Oprah felt duped by James Frey, this weekend I felt duped as well.

I had plans to go o lunch with a potential client this weekend. I met him at the ND Alumni Networking thing and discovered that our companies could do some work together. After hearing some good news this weekend, I emailed him and let him know that we shuold have luch soon to discuss this opportunity. We settled on Saturday.

I was already in Detroit on Saturday getting my hair done. I met him in Ann Arbor at a restaurant. I'm pretty sure the first words that came out of his mouth was a compliment on how beautiful I looked. I immediately knew that he wanted to discuss more than our business! I felt a little duped. Here I thought I was going to have a mature, productive lunch and land an account. I quickly found out he was more interested in me than my company.

We actually had a nice lunch. It lasted for about three hours. During the course of the meal he told me that he was finding it increasingly difficult to continue to separate business and pleasure. I was praying that I wouldn't have to sleep with this man in order to get the account. It's fortunate that I hold all the cards in this business deal though. In acutality, he needs me more than I need him. I could walk away from the deal, but I want the credit of landing the deal, so that's the main reason that I'm staying.

So when I left the restaurant, I began thinking about the new character in my life. In all reality, I'm not all that interested in him, and I finally figured out why. My ne w friend fit almost all the criteria in men I date. He's old (over 30), he majorly successful (as demonstrated by the 7 series BMW he drove off in)...what was it that was not making me want to jump his bones on the restaurant table? Oh yes, he's black. If you know Miss Kiki well, you know that she has never dated a black man. She's dated white guys, Serbian guys, Lebanese guys, but not black. Kiki feels there's something normal and right about dating a black man. And Miss Kiki is not into the norm. So that's why our new friend is not overly attractive to me. However, I'm not going to let him know that. I'm going to make sure everytime he sees me, I'm looking hot and delicious. Because I don't condone mixing business with pleasure. But if I can keep him under my thumb and get what I want from him, I feel that's acceptable.

5:59 PM | |

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 

Just So You Know

1) Don't call me at 5P, tell me your flight was delayed and you won't be in until 10P and expect me to still be awake and ready to meet you for a drink. As much as I like a hot expensive meal and booze, I like my strict bedtime even better.

2) Don't be selfish and take a job in wonderful D.C. while missing my ultimate birthday/dungeon-warming/super bowl party. I will hate you forever!

This post is just a rant against Pocket Kip. I do have to say that I am extremely excited that he got a new job in happening D.C. Most importantly, I will have a cool place to visit, and I do think I can get a direct flight to D.C. from Lansing. I am disappointed that he won't be able to make my party. The sheer drunken playing in the streets won't be the same. I won't have anyone to freak dance with, make out with, and then confuse stragers when he goes to make out with cute boys. And that makes me sad.

However, I do have to say that I'm super excited that the rest of my friends will be in tow and we'll have a super wonderful time. And we'll send you pictures, Daddy Kipper!

7:57 PM | |

Saturday, January 21, 2006 

Say Cheese


I had no intention of leaving my house today. I was supposed to go out with The Shiny Couple last night, but we got a ton of snow and the didn't call. When I woke up this morning, the streets were covered with snow and I was trying to figure out if I could survive the weekend without leaving The Dungeon. After settling in with season 1 of Arrested Development, the nighbor kid came over to shovel my driveway. Since he did such a good job and the sun was shining, I felt it was a good time to leave my house.

Good thing too. I went to Best Buy to check the prices of digital cameras for my party and I ended up buying this one. I'm quite excited.

[Edited: In the middle of writing this post I just ran out to Best Buy. Apparently my camera was cheaper online so I just went back to the store to get the difference. And pick up the credit card I mistakenly left at the store the first time I went in. oops!]


7:37 PM | |

Thursday, January 19, 2006 

I'm so vain

So I have a legitimate query.

Last night at the Alumni function I met a guy. He's nice. Works for a great company, and I think that our companies can do future business. We exchanged cards and promised to meet up in the future to discuss the opportunity.

When I got to work this morning I had an email from him. I didn't think anything of it. He gave me his cell phone number. I replied and included my cell as well.

Then he called me at work. I was a bit surprised to hear from him, but I figured he got some more information on our business venture and wanted to talk to me about some things. We had a nice conversation. We talked for 30 minutes and it was fun. During the conversation I mentioned again that I don't like Lansing and that I want to learn how to golf. This turned into a discussion about how vital golf is to business and he mentioned he had an extra set of clubs and was willing to give me some lessons when the snow finally leaves Michigan. Cool. I'm a sucker for free things. Lessons included. I still thought this was a friendly business call. He mentioned that he had a child, and we talked about our age differences. I thought I saw him with a wedding ring on last night. Still, things to talk about during a business call. He asked how I was holding up in Lansing and I told him that it's tough, but I try to make it to Detroit as much as I can. He suggested that we grab lunch when I'm in Detroit next. Ok. That's cool. Still business friendship related. I was still in the business zone. Then he asked what else I liked to do in Detroit. Um, I like bars and drinking and having a good time. Then he suggested we maybe do that as well.

Hmm...ok. I was a bit taken aback but I didn't show it. I really want this guy as a business partner. I think that our two companies can do some good things together, and I want to be the person who brought our companies together. However, I can't figure out if he was hitting on me or if I'm just a vain bitch. Whatever. So far I've got free golf lessons and a possible lunch with him in the near future. I'll decide what his intentions are later. Or when he tries to grab my ass. Whichever comes first.

10:06 PM | |

 

We need a name for this new character

Hi Kids!

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to write. I didn’t think things were going on, but really, they are.

First, a PSA. All you Domers who read this: Take full advantage of your Alumni clubs! I went to a Detroit networking night last night and it was a blast. It was well run, the speaker was short and sweet, and there was free food and booze. And most importantly, ND Alums are so super cool. I met a female alumna who was part of the first female graduating class, I got invited to a golf outing, and I may use a contact to drum up some business and make Boss Man love be because I’m bringing in money. All in a night’s work. So again, take advantage of your Alumni clubs. They’re great fun.

Other than that…remember this post? Well he finally sent me an email. It was about five printed pages long! It took me three days to read it and three more days to respond. In the interim, he sent me another email asking if I received the first email. Wow. Slow down man. Give me time. I politely told him that I can’t read and I’ll get to him when I have more time.

So, what did he write about in his first 5 page email to me? Well he started out by saying he thinks I’m a nice and exceptional woman. Heh. He’s excited about starting out exchanging emails because he feels people don’t appreciate the written word. “I'm athletic ( though that doesn't mean that I play football :), don't smoke (never have), don't drink (never have), obviously I've never used drugs, and I was raised with good values, which I've maintained all my life.” Hmm…ok. That won’t pose a problem! He doesn’t believe in dating people for fun. He feels that it’s best to only date people you would marry. Oh sweetie, I don’t date people. However, I do go on dates…as long as they include a hot meal and alcohol. He did give his example, “If, for instance, I met a woman whose favorite sport is water skiing while mine is bicycling, I would have no problem adapting by getting much more involved in water skiing. And, hopefully, she would be equally willing to get more involved in bicycling.”

Oh dear. You know I’m a selfish bitch. We only do things my way. If I don’t like bicycling, we will NEVER EVER bicycle for the duration that we date. Why? Because I’m evil.

So, in my email back, I tried to be as kind as possible, when asked to describe myself, I listed the following:
What else about me? I'm a quiet loud person. I have as much fun being alone and relaxing at home as I do in a crowd of strangers. I'm gregarious. I'm extremely giving when it comes to my friends and family. I only have about six friends. I don't believe in having a lot of people you call 'friends.' I can be standoffish in unfamiliar situations, but I eventually warm up. When I choose to be, I'm a great listener. I'm loyal to my friends. I'm brutally honest. I'm a realist, not a dreamer. I have a very dry sense of humor. I tend to smile a lot.

I left out the part about how I run a small cocaine empire in Colombia, sell baby stem cells on the black market, and am a Republican. Maybe I’ll mention that in my next email.

I kinda feel bad about leading this guy on, but that’s his problem. People should learn to have thick skin and not go into situations with such high expectations. He’s already replied to my email. It was about 3 pages this time. He said he shares some of the same personality traits that I do. Oh honey. Give it time. You’ll soon learn how wrong you are about that.

P.S. We need a nickname for my new conquest. Any suggestions?

10:04 PM | |

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 

You're Under Arrest


I was yaking away on the phone this afternoon when a cop comes to my office door with his hand on his gun.

"Is there anyone else here?" he asked very softly.

I had no idea what was going on. Yeah, Kerry is in the next office. At this point Kerry comes out to confront Mr. Officer. Now, I wasn't going to get off the phone. Whatever was going on in the office would have to wait. I was in the middle of an important conversation. As long as he didn't think I did something wrong, I didn't care what he was up to.

Apparently someone called 911 from our office and the Officer responded. Kerry and I had been the only ones there, so the Officer was checking to see if anyone else was hiding out in the office. Apparently no one was around. I guess it was the office ghost who called the cops.

Nothing else is going on. The Project is still terrified of me. He called yesterday to chat. He told me he wanted to do something with me on Sat but never called...plus he thougt I would be busy. Hmm, if you call busy running to Khols to buy towels! I wish he would have called and encouraged him to call me more often.

6:37 PM | |

Sunday, January 15, 2006 

A New Add

It's always fun when someone adds your blog to their blog. You hope your readership will grow. With that being said, I'm adding Kitty Can Scratch over to the right. She's a fellow Domer, lived in Farley, and I'm not sure if I actually met her. But she's a good friend of My Pink Shoe, so that's good enough for me. Go read Kitty Can Scratch. She's a great writer and she updates frequently.

10:44 PM | |

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 

The Center of Attention


I went to the Detroit Auto Show with Boss Man this afternoon. It was really an all day event. We left at about 10 and didn't get back till the office until 5. I promise, it was official business.

This is the second year Boss Man and I have been to the Auto Show together. We like to go a few days before it's open to the public so we can sit in the Lamborghinis, Maybachs, Aston Martins, and Ferraris. We usually hit up those cars, Boss Man flexes a lil muscle and gets some sweet deals from the high end dealers, then we go our separate ways and meet up in a few hours.

Today I was dressed to kill. In fact, I was dressed better than the women standing motionless by the Ferraris in their subpar dresses. I think they were models or something. The thing about the auto show before it opens to the public is that you get a lot of Japanese businessmen, and nerdy industry car people looking at all of the specs and design of the cars. For some lil black girl in a tight cashmere sweater, a mini skirt and high heels to be walking amongst them, well, it causes a bit of a scene.

As I walked around, smiled, and made eye contact with every man over 50, I happened to stop by some car. I don't really remember what it was because it doesn't matter. A man with snow white hair walked up beside me. "What if I just buy that for you?" I looked him right in the eyes. "Ok. I'll give you my address so you'll know where to deliver it." He smiled. "You weren't expecting me to be serious, were you?" I walked away. Always a tease.

The only guy I gave my card to, I doubt will ever call me. We both happened to be gazing at the montrosity of a concept Truck that Ford introduced. We chit chatted about the car for a while. He worked for Chrysler and I told him I worked for the enemy. We had a nice discussion for a while until I had to bring him down to size. I told him that my company was superior to his, listed the reasons why, and in the end, I made it very hard for him to disagree with me. After our discussion I shook his hand and introduced myself. I gave him a card and invited him to call me if he wanted to discuss it further. Although he was cute, smart, and opinionated, I doubt he'll give me a call. I always seem to scare off the weak ones that way.

Oh, and in other news, DSL finally came to The Dungeon! I'm so excited. I also have wireless internet. However, this is useless to me as I don't have a laptop. Oh well. If it's taken me this long to finally afford DSL, I figure I'll be in the market for a laptop around 4015.

10:43 PM | |

Sunday, January 08, 2006 

Let Me Explain

First off, don't any of y'all EVER do what I just did to my builder. After having a few days to think about my actions, I know what I did was very risky. The guy is much bigger than I am, and if he wanted to, he really could have beat me down in that bathroom. However, I figured that he had more to lose than me, and by standing my ground I could show him who really was in charge. And I don't apologize for my actions.

My issue with my builder made me reflect on how some men treat women. I've been pretty fortunate in my life to not have to deal with people thinking I'm inferior based on my gender. (Some have thought me inferior for other reasons, but that's a whole other post!) When I go to the mechanic to get my oil changed, I get under the hood with the technician and ask a lot of questions about how my car functions. And the mechanics are very patient and helpful. When I bought my house on my own, both my realtor and mortgage broker were professional and non judgmental. At my job I feel like an equal among my bosses. I have NEVER had anyone try to pull the wool over my eyes because they are a man and they just know better. Because most men are smart enough to realize that underneath it all, I really am smarter than they are. ;-)

But with that being said, I still don't apologize for what I did, and I'm not going to apologize to my builder. Men play these power tricks all the time with each other. They may not physically lock their oponents in a bathroom, but they will strong arm them and get nasty in the boardroom, on the playing fields, and in general interactions. It's their way of asserting their alpha dominance. However, when a woman stands up and takes charge, she's labled a bitch. That's why I'm not apologizing. My builder would never talk down to a man the way he talked down to me, so I had to show him who was really in charge and assert myself. I'm not looking for his respect. But I betcha the next time he has to deal with me, he's going to fear being locked in another room and deal with me in a more professional manner. Or just shit his pants whenever he's near me.

12:12 AM | |

Friday, January 06, 2006 

Don’t be fooled. This is a completely true story.

I forgot to sync my palm before I left work today so I don’t have the wonderful post I wrote earlier. Therefore, I will just tell my story.

My builder came over to look at The Dungeon cause I was having a couple of problems.

1) The back door was not staying closed.
2) The bathroom doors were not staying open.
3) The water in the shower gets cold after about 20 minutes.

My builder told me he would be at The Dungeon at 4:15. I showed up at 4:00 just as he was pulling into my driveway. I figured he was gonna show up early and then leave when he saw I wasn’t there. Oh honey. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to think you can out scheme me. I’m the Queen of Schemes!

I showed him the first problem. He said he could fix it. Good!

I showed him the second problem. Basically what’s happening is the bathroom door won’t stay open. This causes a problem when you’re using the mirror to brush your teeth as the door keeps closing on you. My builder looked at the door without touching it and said the problem couldn’t be fixed. I asked him if he was going to check the hinges for alignment or physically touch the door and he said that it didn’t matter because again, the door could not be fixed. (BTW, I checked out this site today at work. The problem can too be fixed.) I asked him if the he would be comfortable shaving in front of the mirror with the door constantly hitting him in the shoulder. He told me that some of his buddies have the same problem in their house and it doesn’t bother them. I told him I didn’t ask what his buddies were comfortable with. I was asking what he was comfortable with. He told me he wasn’t gonna fix it. And that’s when lawyer (not licensed) Kiki came to play. I looked him in the eye and said, “So, you just said you’re not going to fix the door. Meaning there is a solution to fixing the door, you’re just not going to employ that solution.” Builder was upset, said he wasn’t going to fix it, and asked about my third problem.

I politely informed him that while taking a shower, the water goes from comfortably hot to icy cold. He went to his truck, got a thermometer, and tested the temperature of the water in the kitchen sink. He said the temperature was fine, and I explained again that the problem was the hot water eventually running out. And also, the problem was in the bathroom. He said there was no problem. I asked if he was going to check the water heater (see, earlier in the day I called a plumber in Texas, and by telling him my problem over the phone, he gave me a preliminary diagnosis of what he thought the problem was. And yes, the Texas plumber definitely thought there was a problem.). I followed the builder to the basement where he never touched the water heater, but said he couldn’t find a problem. I then invited him to check the water temperature in the bathroom. And that’s were the story gets fun!

I followed the builder into my bathroom. I have two doors in the bathroom. One leading to the hallway and one leading to the bathroom. Now remember, one of the doors closes automatically and the builder previously said he wasn’t going to fix the door. So as I followed the builder into the bathroom, the door shut behind us in the cramped space. The builder tested the water temperature and again said there was no problem. I then explained to him for a third time that the problem occurs when the water has been running for more than five minutes. He then stood up, looked at me, and said, “Kiki, you’re problem is that you think there’s a solution to everything.” “You’re right,” I replied. At that point, since I still had my cowboy boots on, I placed my feet against both bathroom doors so he couldn’t get out. I looked him in the eye and said, “So what are we gonna do about it?” The builder reached for the doorknob, “Kiki, open the door.” “So what are we going to do about my water heater problem?” The builder paused to take a few breaths. He was well beyond red at this point and I was bracing to get smacked across the jaw. “Kiki, open this door.” “I just need to know what we’re going to do about my water heater.” He took another few deep breaths. I knew I had him, and if I just stood my ground, I could beat him. “Well, I’m not a plumber so I’m not going to touch your water heater.” “O.K. So, when are you going to call a plumber to come out and look at my water heater?” “Well, I can’t do it now because I don’t have his number. As a matter of fact, I’m going to ask that he contact you directly.” He was steaming now. “Thanks. That’s all I needed to know.” And at that point, I let him out of the bathroom.

“Do you still want me to fix the door leading to the backyard?” he yelled. “Yeah, I’m having company soon and that needs to be fixed.”

“I didn’t appreciate you locking me in that bathroom,” he said.

“Well, I don’t appreciate you being elusive when I tell you about problems I’m having.”

“You know what, if I wanted to, I could beat you ten times over. But I’m a man and you’re a woman, and I’m not going to do that. In fact, you’re a woman, and I don’t feel safe right now. I’m not going to fix your door. I’m gonna come back when I have someone here with me.” He picked up his tools and stormed out the back door.

I followed after him. “Ok. That’s fine. As long as you come quick. I’m having company soon and I need this taken care of. Oh, and I’ll be around this weekend so give me a call.” My voice was nice and sweet.

He stormed through my backyard, threw his tools in the back of his truck, and literally sped away.

But, before he got into his truck, I made sure he heard me say, “Have a nice weekend!”

5:55 PM | |

Wednesday, January 04, 2006 

So I mentioned I started my liquid diet, right?

Really a liquid diet probably isn’t more or less healthy than a no cards diet or no sugar diet, but I know I’m not strong enough to give us sugar. Or alcohol. So my all liquid diet allows me to consume both. Now, the key to an all liquid diet is Slim-Fast. I love this stuff. And I just went to Sam’s and bought a huge tub of the Vanilla Powder. This is my first time using the powder and I like it a ton better than the liquid. See, I make a shake every morning before work. The shake consists of a yogurt, a banana, a scoop of Slim Fast, and ice. I used to make this shake in college, and by lunchtime when I usually drink it, all of the liquids would separate and it would be gross to drink. Not so with the powder. Everything stays its normal consistency. So I have a Welch’s juice at 10:30, my shake at 1:30, and another juice at 3:30. I usually have leftover shake in the fridge, so I have that when I get home as a snack. And, because I need my protein and vegetables, I’ve incorporated soup in my all liquid diet. I’m allowed to have meat and vegetables in my soup. Yesterday I worked out and I plan on doing the same tomorrow night.

Oh, and as a side note, can you believe that the MSU gym closes at 7P since they’re still on break? Break or not, Rolfs always had stellar gym hours. I guess that accounts for so many hotties at ND.

I need to call the Shiny Couple as well. I haven’t had a drink with them in a while and I’m sure they have some great Christmas/NYE stories to share with me.

10:29 PM | |

Monday, January 02, 2006 

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson

I just watched the ND/Ohio State game. I'm still upset.

I was contemplating writing about this, but I guess I will. I have a plan that I'm trying to see through.

After my defeat at the bars on Friday, I met Tommy. I happened to go to the diner down the street and get a shake. I start my diet tomorrow, so this weekend was the last weekend I could have junky food. Anyway, Tommy was at the diner too. He's a bartender and he was getting a bite to eat before heading home. He was cute and nice. About 6'2. 24 years old. He was pretty shy at first, but the more we talked, the more he warmed up to me. I told him that my roommate was out of town and I wanted someone to watch a movie with me and I asked if he wanted to come over since I lived down the street. Tommy was a little hesitant, but decided to make the best of the night.

I really could care less about Tommy. He was just another warm body. When we got back to my place, we settled on the couch and talked more than we watched the movie. He had a great body. Not cut. But really tall and skinny. He told me he played baseball, hockey, and football. And it showed. I could tell he was a cute kid, so I decided not to continue to lie to him. I told him that I didn't have a roommate, my real name, and the fact that I owned the house that we were in. I didn' t reveal my age. For some reason, I like for people to think I'm a lot older than I am.

Turns out Tommy is a drunk. Well, a former drunk. He turned down the drink I offered him when we got to The Dungeon, and when we talked more, he told me that he basically dropped out of school the first time because he turned into an alcoholic. He was total frat boy material and he won the frat record for most consecutive days drunk. I could tell I was really gonna like Tommy.

Because he was still pretty shy and not making a move, I told him that if he did want to cuddle, we could go downstairs and watch another movie. By this time it's about 6 AM. He agrees and tells me he has to be in Grand Rapids by 10AM the same day. I slyly told him The Dungeon provides wakeup calls.

Now we get to reason #2328184 why I don't mess around with boys under 30. I think I've written about this before, but I'm too lazy to look up the link. Edited: Here's the link. Anyway, my first question to Tommy before the movie even starts is: When was the last time you were tested? The blank expression on his face was priceless. For some reason when you ask a guy over 30 this question, they can tell you what outfit they were wearing the last time they were tested. But this question was like unchartered waters for our dear Tommy. Sigh. Anyway, I gave him a quick lecture on the importance of being tested. We didn't do anything bad. In fact, Tommy was a very good kisser and he had both a tongue ring and nipple rings to boot. Since I had questions about his current STD status, I'm not quite sure if he had anything else pierced as well! I didn't expect to see all his piercings seeing that he was such a sweet and quiet boy. But then Tommy took off his hat. I'm not sure what it is about Michigan that makes men go prematurely bald, but Tommy was definately losing his hair. I was a bit disappointed because he was such a cuttie and sweet boy. It's sad that he too was losing his hair. I kinda lost all interest at that point, and try as he did, I just wasn't feeling him anymore. However, I do confess he did make a great cuddle partner and he even made it out on time for his early morning trek to Grand Rapids.

So I've decided that I will be a Mrs. Robinson to Tommy. Yes, I'm younger than he is, so that analogy really doesn't work, but Tommy is more sure of himself than he should be. I think he's a lil scared of me seeing how I'm so forward and I pretend that I'm a bigger shit than I am. And the first step of dominance is fear. Tommy has a lot of great assets and I feel that I should be the person to teach him how to express himself in a whole new way. We'll see if this develops any further.

9:23 PM | |

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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