Sista sLedge.r

Labels: random thoughts, weight

Labels: random thoughts, weight

I’ve decided to start over. I want to take charge of my life. I have nothing to do this summer as I have no school commitments and work tends to slow to a snail’s pace when the weather gets warm. So, with a consultation from Kipper I’ve decided to take the Men’s Health personal trainer thingy. Why Men’s Health? Well, because the Women’s Health was not that helpful. On the Men’s Health page, I can buy three months of personal training. I told them that I want to get lean and they give me exercises to do everyday. I decided to do an hour of weight training on Monday, Wednesday, Saturdays, and cardio on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And since I get to pick my cardio, I’m doing rollerblading. Because I found this neat park near my house that has a nice trial through the woods and around a lake. And it’s fun to rollerblade.

This weekend is dedicated to picking out nice snacks for me to eat during the day so I don’t get too bored at work. I’m thinking of having dried fruit, yogurt, cheese, things like that. I’m so excited about my new program that starts on Monday. Baloo chastised me today for having a pop tart and a nutra grain bar. Pretty much as my only meals of the day. Whatever. He knows nothing. I keep telling him that if he wants me to be pretty and thin, he’s gonna have to stop commenting on my unhealthy eating. It just goes with the territory.

Labels: food, weight

This is one of those more for me than for you posts.

My weight really does freak me out. I’m a control freak. This weekend I went shopping, did yardwork, baked cookies, cooked dinner, and went to the movies with a friend. When I woke up this morning I wondered if there was more I could have done. I felt like I wasted away my weekend. So the whole thing about me losing weight is freaking me out. Basically I weigh right now more than I ever have. (This statement probably isn’t true. Actually, during my last weigh in, I weighed 2 pound more than my ‘ideal’ weight. I tend to have a flair for the dramatic.) And there’s probably a reason why those size 4 shorts were a little tight. My problem is that I lack willpower. Or I go to extremes. In my kitchen right now I have 4 chocolate chip cookies and 2 burgers that I grilled last night for dinner. The goal is to give the cookies to Baloo (he’ll be more than happy to take them off my hands) and eat the burgers in moderation. I’m also going to the gym tonight. Granted, I have lost about a pound in the last week, but it’s not good enough for me. I want instant gratification, and I want it now. My biggest problem lies in the fact that I want to be the perfect little girlfriend. I’m an excellent cook. In fact, I cook more now that I’m with Baloo than I ever cooked before. And all that cooking has added up to me being a fatty. Combine that with the fact that I’m 25 and my metabolism is slowing down and I’m a wreck right now.

For my superbowl party last year I dropped a massive amount of weight. I went on a liquid diet for a month. All I could eat were slimfast shakes and yogurt. Oh, and bananas. Was it healthy? No. But it worked. I’m trying to do the liquid diet again but I always cheat on the weekends. I haven’t put up a new picture on myspace or facebook because I think I look hefty in all the pictures recently taken of me. Of course Baloo doesn’t think I’m fat. He just doesn’t want me to get so skinny and unhealthy that I can’t have sex anymore. Which I find funny. However, I do want all the skimpy lingerie I have to look sexy, not like a bloated whale is trapped in Victoria’s Secret silkies.

So this month is dedicated to weight loss. Not only do I want to get back to my desired weight, but I also want for the circumference of my waist to fit into the size guides of all the major clothing labels. I’m committed to doing this and I will be back to a size 4 by the end of the month.

Labels: obsessions, weight

I had a relaxing weekend. I’m still in fat mode. I just think I’m obese. My face looks fat to me, and if my face looks fat, the rest of my body is fat too. On Sunday I took homemade cookies to Baloo at work. He had me try on a pair of shorts. Even though they were my size, they were a bit tight. I’ve come to believe that climbing/hiking/outdoor clothes aren’t meant for black girl booties. Even though the shorts fit, I was in depression mode and I knew I had to do something about my weight. I’m hitting the gym for the month of May and limiting my calorie intake. I hope to be back down to my desired weight by the end of the month. I can’t take much more of this feeling fat. Of course, it probably also has something to do with the fact that I was PMSing last week. However, I don’t like excuses. And I think I should be able to fit into a size 4 whether I’m bloated or not.

I made Baloo go home for Mother’s day on Saturday since he was working on Sunday. For a person whose parent’s pretty much still fund his existence, I don’t know why I had to pull teeth for him to go home and visit his mother, but I did. And he went. And I got him to do what I wanted him to do. So in the end, I won.

Other than some shopping and yardwork, I went to the movies and finally saw Blades of Glory with our friend from down the street. It was highly entertaining and very funny. A great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Labels: baloo, weekend, weight