Thursday, November 29, 2007 

Reunited

So I’m sure everyone by now knows that there was some major tension between myself and Baloo. Well this is what happened.

Baloo came home on Sunday. I made sure not to be anywhere around when he arrived home. So, I went to the office for a bit to get some work done. When I came home, I summonsed him over and we had a talk. Baloo was pretty upset. There were tears on his part. I told him that he was selfish for not inviting me and selfish for thinking I would drive all the way to Chicago. I told him that he’s been selfish in the past and I was basically considering whether or not I was gaining any benefits from being in the relationship. He said that I’m the best thing that ever happened to him and he wants to do right by me. We talked for a long while before I told him to leave. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I gave him all his stuff that he had at my house (which is really just some DVDs) and I told him that I would call him when I wanted to see him again. I was pretty livid. So that was that.

About 2 hours later I finally broke down. I previously didn’t cry about any of this. The anger had just taken over. I called Daddy Kiki and told him what happened. DK said that I had to forgive Baloo because it was the Christian thing to do. So I called Baloo over and we talked and cried and made up. Baloo said that he would finish out this semester and find a full time job in his field. I think he’s seriously thinking about us being together for an extended amount of time and looking towards the future. I couldn’t be happier!

So, in conclusion, Baloo and I were kinda broken up for about 2 hours. We’re back together and I can see a change in him. I’m so glad that he’s looking towards getting a job in his field so we can start saving money and planning things.

I guess that’s all I really have to tell you about that. I’m just glad that we’re back. I missed him and he’s learned to think more of others. So, all is good!

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12:02 PM | |

Saturday, November 24, 2007 

Progression of Emotions

Baloo comes back tomorrow. I can't say that I'm looking forward to his return. I've talked to two of my best friends tonight. One told me to be open to his apology. The other told me not to make rash decisions when I'm angry. I actually can't believe that I'm still angry. I'm usually the type of person who will give you the silent treatment, and then get over it by the next day. But it's been over a week and I'm still angry. I've done a lot of things to take my mind on it. Mainly write one of my papers. Or do research for one of my papers. I'm so lost. I have no idea what I really need to write about and it needs to be 20 single spaced pages. Yeah. I'm not looking forward to that! Good thing it's not due for a couple of weeks.

I cleaned his truck yesterday. Why? I'm not sure why I did it. I planned on doing it for him while he was away to surprise him. Before he had his whole family pressuring me to drive to Chicago. I did a good job of cleaning it. I threw out all the trash, vacuumed the carpeting, cleaned the dash, Windexed the windows and took all his recycling to the city dump. I even took his bottles to the bottle deposit and put his money in a place where he could find it. I don't know why I was so nice. Maybe I think that by doing nice, he can see what it's like and will be more likely to be nicer to me. Who knows.

I don't know what I'm going to say to him tomorrow. Tonight I'm feeling that I can do better by myself. I feel like I constantly have to teach him how to act like a proper human. I have too many other things on my plate to raise a grown man. I have no idea what he wants to do with his life. I don't know what his potential 5 year plan is. It makes me crazy. Roomie told me to make a list of pros and cons. I wish I could. But right now, all I can think of are cons. I really want to call Daddy Kiki and talk about this. But I can't. Because when Daddy Kiki finds out that the man who supposedly loves me didn't invite me to Thanksgiving Dinner, Daddy Kiki will flip his shit and tell me to dump him immediately. Maybe I don't want to tell Daddy Kiki because I know what he'll tell me would be right. I really need to talk to an adult right now to help me figure this all out. There are so many things that I don't know about all of this.

All I know is I'm not looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. In fact, I plan on hiding out at the office writing and doing research so I won't have to look out my window and see when his parents pull up to drop him off.

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8:15 PM | |

Thursday, November 22, 2007 

Happy Thanksgiving?

We had a huge fight. Probably larger than any fight we've ever had. So remember how I told you I was going to Chicago for Thanksgiving at the last minute? Well I didn't end up going. This is what happened:

After talking to Baloo's mother on the phone, I felt that I didn't want to snub her invitation. So, being a good Southern woman, I went to the supermarket on my lunch break to buy ingredients for the Texas Mac & Cheese I planned on making that night when I arrived in Chicago. But I broke down in the car. I called Baloo and yelled and screamed. I didn't want to go to Chicago at all. The forecast was predicting snow, I wouldn't get off work till 5 p.m., I hadn't eaten all day, and I really didn't want to spend the next four hours alone in my car driving to Chicago. I let him have it. I told him that I felt backed in a corner by having his mother call me and his brother text messaging me both asking me to come. I felt like I was doing something I didn't want to do. So I decided not to go. I told Baloo that he was selfish and he never thought about what I would have to do to get to Chicago that night and that he needs to grow up and start thinking of other people. I was happy with the decision that I made and I was excited to start the holiday alone.

Since then, Baloo has been sending message after message on Facebook. I know that he's sorry and that he means well, but I feel like I have to stand my ground. I know that he feels shitty right now, and I hate not talking to him, but I feel that he needs to understand how much he needs to grow. Does that make me a bad person? I really don't feel like talking to him or even forgiving him right now. But each text he leaves or status update he gives on Facebook is more and more depressing. After I asked for him to leave me alone for a while, he has given me my space and has stopped texting me, but I still feel bad. I don't like to see him hurting, but I also feel like I can't cave in to his whining. And to make matters worse, I had an ex-boyfriend text me today asking how my holiday was going. When he found out that I was spending the holiday alone, he offered to come and break Baloo's kneecaps. I found that very endearing. Sigh. Maybe I'll just go and work on my papers a bit. That should take my mind off all of this.

In other news, I did make the Turkey Cranberry Ravioli and the Texas Mac & Cheese today and I ate it. It was very yummy. I also talked to my dad and wished him a happy holiday. I didn't tell him that Baloo didn't invite me. That would just give Baloo one strike against him when he finally meets Daddy Kiki. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

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5:24 PM | |

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 

Never Underestimate the Power of a Mother

So looks like I'm going to Chicago for Thanksgiving.

Baloo left last night. His family came to pick him up and they all drove to Chicago to be with family. Meanwhile, I went to class. While in class I received the following text:

I know you probably wont, but please come to Chicago. you can stay the whole weekend or however long you want. if you stay the whole time I'll ride back with you. You are wanted.

I wasn't going to play his reindeer games so I told him that I was content to spend the holidays in my underwear drinking wine and watching movies, so leave me alone.

And then today I received a call from Mama Baloo. Apparently Baloo had confessed to his family that he totally dropped the ball and never invited me to spend Thanksgiving with his family. She apologized for her son and told me that he's an idiot and that I should really come to Chicago tonight. She told me to swallow my pride and just come. I can't argue with Mama Baloo. So, at 5P I plan on hitting up the grocery store to get ingredients for a side dish, and then driving the four hours to Baloo's folks' house. Wish me luck.

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12:24 PM | |

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

My baby's gone. Well, not really. He leaves at 5P to go to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I think he's finally realizing how much it's going to suck with me not being around. He's such a silly man. He pretty much wouldn't let me out of bed this morning because he knew that he wouldn't see me for another 5 days. It's cool tho. I'm actually excited about having so much 'me' time. I plan to not shower, watch Big Love, LOTR, and work on my papers. And I'm going to cook. I've decided on my Thanksgiving meal. I'm making Turkey & Cranberry Ravioli. I'm not a huge fan of Giada De Laurentiis. I think it's cause I don't like how perfect her boobs look when she's cooking. And the fact that Baloo looks at her boobs when she cooks. But I thought this was the perfect recipe to put me in the Thanksgiving mood.

I know I was asked what I want for Christmas. I want a lot of things actually. Mainly I want a new wallet from Kate Spade. The one I want isn't online, but it's basically the pocketbook design. I've had my current wallet since I was 16, and frankly, it's not falling apart. I just need an upgrade. I think Baloo may be getting me ski clothes for Christmas. I'm super excited to learn to ski with him. I think it'll make the winter much more enjoyable. I guess I can tell y'all what I plan to get DK and Baloo.

Daddy Kiki
Breville Juicer

Denzel Washington Movies


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9:53 AM | |

Friday, November 16, 2007 

It's Not Christmas

There's a house in my neighborhood who already has their Christmas lights on their house. And turned on at night. Every time I pass by it, I end up shaking my fist at the house. Seriously, people. Let's get through one holiday before we start celebrating another.

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12:00 PM | |

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 

This is What I've Been Up To

Hi Children (yes, y'all are all my blog children)! How is everyone doing? I'm fine. Just been hella busy. Grad school is kicking my ass, but I love it so much. It's like an abusive relationship. Grad school only beats me because it loves me. And I stay with Grad school because I probably did something to deserve that beating in the first place.

But seriously, I think Grad school is the best confidence booster. Just make sure you go for something in the liberal arts field. I've had 3 assignments so far this semester and I've made A's on all three. It's great. It's like you get an A for effort. And that makes Grad school that much more enjoyable. Sure, I stress out because there's a ton of reading that I can't find the time to do (I'm working full time and going to school part time) but the subject matter is something I'm really passionate about. I have 2 papers due at the end of the month, and one paper I'm actually so excited about I don't think I'll be able to limit myself to 20 pages. Yeah, I'm a HUGE nerd like that.

I had a weird dream last night. I was at a company with my co-workers and the company put out a lunch buffet for us. I put a few things from the buffet on my plate, and as I did so, the servers brought out more food. Well, I put my plate down to investigate the new food, and when I did, someone stole my original plate. This kept happening for the duration of the meal and I didn't eat anything (which isn't a bad thing). When I told Kipper, he said that it sounds like I should be happy with what I have and stop looking ahead and planning things and enjoy the moment. I think Kipper is a selfish know it all who should just stick to being gay and not try to be Dr. Phil! (Not really. I value his opinion. But how weird was it that I had such a deep and thought provoking dream. That's not like me.

On the Baloo front, things are going surprisingly well. We've settled into each other and things are pretty fantastic. We did have two hiccups I want to tell everyone about. The first involved TGiving Day. Apparently his whole family goes to Chicago and spends TDay with cousins, aunts, uncles, the whole bit. Well, I wasn't invited and I got pissed. At first Baloo said the he's never invited a girl to TDay and I pointed out to him that his other girlfriends had families in the area so they had their own things going on for TDay. He then said that he didn't want to subject me to 5 days in a cramped house in the suburbs of Chicago. I told him that he could have just invited me up for the day. I could have driven or taken the train. I was mostly disappointed that he didn't discuss any of this with me to find out what my plans were. My traditional TDay includes me with a bottle of red wine and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (3 years going strong!). I was sad that I wasn't included and we talked about it and he finally got the message. He invited me to take the train up for the day to spend with his family, but by that time it was too late. I'm slowly forgiving him, but I was pretty hurt by his thoughtlessness.

Then the second thing in Baloo world was apparently my fault. See, I'm a pretty blunt person. I speak my mind and I don't hold back. I tend to hold back when people's feelings are at bay, but that's not always the norm. I told Baloo that I'm going to be looking for overseas jobs after grad school and I asked if he would join me. He said that he most likely would. Then I told him that I don't believe in living in sin. And I know what y'all are gonna say. Wait Kiki, y'all spend the night at each others houses, but you don't believe in living together? Yes. That's what I believe. It's a me thing. Just deal with it. And then I apparently made the biggest mistake I could have ever made (according to Kipper). I asked "do you think we'll ever get married?" Now, you have to understand. I don't like to mince words. If I want an answer to a question, I ask the question directly. Kipper chided me and told me I should have asked "where is this relationship going?" Oh well. I know for next time. But Baloo responded 'possibly' and I'm pretty satisfied with that answer. At least I put it out there and he knows my position on living in sin so we'll see what happens. And if not, I always have an overseas job to look forward to with lots of foreign men! It'll probably make better blog material anyway.

So that's what's been going on, kiddies. Hope everyone is doing well, and I'll try to update more frequently in the future.

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9:57 AM | |

Friday, November 02, 2007 

Being a Grown-up Sucks!

I hate being a grownup.

This morning I woke up to find mold on my boots? After doing a short search on Google, I found that the mold is due to not enough ventilation in my bedroom closet. After discussing this with a co-worker, I was told that I need a dehumidifier in my house. Yeah! News to the Texas girl. Goodbye $200.

Next, I thought about my brakes. They're pretty bad. So bad that I've figured out a system of stopping at lights and stop signs with minimal pressure. It's good to drive a stick. So I've decided I need to break down and get a break job. I have no idea how much that will cost.

And then I thought about my poor monitor at home. It's from college and it likes to give out on me. I've resorted to keeping it off most of the day (which I should have been doing in the first place) and turning it on only when I'm using the computer. So far, I haven't had to drop money on a new monitor....yet!

And I was so excited because I was planning on going shopping for some cute fall/winter clothes as a reward for getting all my reading done before my in class essay on Tuesday. Guess I'll have to put that off until next week.

I'm sure none of this would be an issue if I just resorted to putting things on my credit card and forgetting about it. But I'm extremely careful with money and I believe that I shouldn't buy something if I don't have the means to pay it off immediately. Which makes life in the short run kinda sucky, but life in the long run kinda bad ass!

Overall, being a grown-up sucks!

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1:06 PM | |

Thursday, November 01, 2007 

Here are Some Things I've Thought About in the Last Few Days

You never know when you're being watched. Like when I went to the gyno and was sitting in the room in my stylish hospital gown waiting for my doctor to uncomfortably probe me, I decided to stare out the window for a bit. And I watched a drug rep get dressed and get his materials together for his presentation all in his car. I then watched him as he went into the building to shill his drugs. He had no idea anyone was watching him. But I was.

Let's see. What else? We celebrated Baloo's birthday this past week. It was nice. His roommate and his girlfriend joined us at a nice restaurant and then we explored our new neighborhood bar. The verdict? We LOVE our new neighborhood bar. It's a sports bar with lots to games like pool and shuffleboard. And it's within walking distance. We have found our new hangout. Then Baloo's friends came down from Toronto to visit (totally unexpected) and they were the nicest people I've ever met. They are from India and were in Baloo's master's program before they both dropped out and moved to Toronto because Baloo's major professor is a bitch. Seriously. The man wouldn't sign documents for one of the guys to get his Canadian citizenship. All the prof had to do was verify that the guy had worked for him from year 1 - year 2. Instead, the prof refused to sign the document saying the guy owed him data....even though the guy successfully completed his masters in the program. It was pretty fucked up. But we had a wonderful time with the boys. You could tell that Baloo really missed them. It was nice to see his interaction with the guys and how much he really loved them. Man love is so sweet!

So I know I talk about Baloo's bff 'Laura' (I think I have a different name for her every time) but I have to bring her up again. Ana (Baloo's roommate's gf) and I decided to have a drunken conversation about love and relationships on the night of Baloo's birthday at abotu 4A. Which is the best time to discuss love and relationships. I told Ana that I hate Laura and she better step off my man. I know this is going to sound so stupid and immature and silly, but here goes. When I was on Myspace, Laura would constantly post messages on Baloo's page. So much so that the last about 25 messages are all from her. It makes her look like a stalker. When I switched over to Facebook, I decided to make Baloo's 'wall' mine. I sent him cute little messages and inside jokes. Well, now Laura is on Facebook and she thinks she can take over. Yes, I know that she's only written about 3 messages, but I want that bitch to know straight up that she's not welcome around the Facebook community. Yes. I know what I just wrote and I know how absolutely stupid this is and I know I'm 25 and should grow up. But whatever! This is how I feel! Deal! So anyway, Ana and I were talking about Laura (b/c she knows Laura) and Ana told me that Laura just feels left out because Baloo has dated almost all of her single friends but has never dated her. I told Ana that Laura is pathetic and unattractive and that if she wanted Baloo in the past, she could have had him. Now she's living in Denver and can't do anything about it. That's not my problem and is very immature. And, if she wanted to start something with me, I can sure as hell finish something with her. Ana said that she thought the situation was immature as well, but that some of Baloo's friends haven't reached the maturity level that I'm at (which scares me as a large proportion of them are married). So that's my beef with Laura. If you know who I am you can go to Baloo's Myspace page and see how obsessive she is with her messages. It's pretty pathetic. And you can go to his Facebook page and see how I've taken over. Damn. I feel like I'm 12. Let's talk about something else!

Alas, there is nothing more to talk about. Other than the fact that I go to work, go to school, and go home everyday. ND plays Navy this weekend and I'm so looking for a win! We MUST win or Charlie's ass is on the line. Oh, and Baloo's friends will be in town to celebrate his birthday (which was last week and they all bailed on me) and go to the MSU v. UM game. I've got a lot of work to do, so Baloo may be on his own with those characters. And I couldn't be happier.

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9:21 AM | |

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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