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Thursday, November 22, 2007 

Happy Thanksgiving?

We had a huge fight. Probably larger than any fight we've ever had. So remember how I told you I was going to Chicago for Thanksgiving at the last minute? Well I didn't end up going. This is what happened:

After talking to Baloo's mother on the phone, I felt that I didn't want to snub her invitation. So, being a good Southern woman, I went to the supermarket on my lunch break to buy ingredients for the Texas Mac & Cheese I planned on making that night when I arrived in Chicago. But I broke down in the car. I called Baloo and yelled and screamed. I didn't want to go to Chicago at all. The forecast was predicting snow, I wouldn't get off work till 5 p.m., I hadn't eaten all day, and I really didn't want to spend the next four hours alone in my car driving to Chicago. I let him have it. I told him that I felt backed in a corner by having his mother call me and his brother text messaging me both asking me to come. I felt like I was doing something I didn't want to do. So I decided not to go. I told Baloo that he was selfish and he never thought about what I would have to do to get to Chicago that night and that he needs to grow up and start thinking of other people. I was happy with the decision that I made and I was excited to start the holiday alone.

Since then, Baloo has been sending message after message on Facebook. I know that he's sorry and that he means well, but I feel like I have to stand my ground. I know that he feels shitty right now, and I hate not talking to him, but I feel that he needs to understand how much he needs to grow. Does that make me a bad person? I really don't feel like talking to him or even forgiving him right now. But each text he leaves or status update he gives on Facebook is more and more depressing. After I asked for him to leave me alone for a while, he has given me my space and has stopped texting me, but I still feel bad. I don't like to see him hurting, but I also feel like I can't cave in to his whining. And to make matters worse, I had an ex-boyfriend text me today asking how my holiday was going. When he found out that I was spending the holiday alone, he offered to come and break Baloo's kneecaps. I found that very endearing. Sigh. Maybe I'll just go and work on my papers a bit. That should take my mind off all of this.

In other news, I did make the Turkey Cranberry Ravioli and the Texas Mac & Cheese today and I ate it. It was very yummy. I also talked to my dad and wished him a happy holiday. I didn't tell him that Baloo didn't invite me. That would just give Baloo one strike against him when he finally meets Daddy Kiki. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

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i think you have every right to feel upset and hurt and irritated and any number of emotions. i also think baloo made a mistake and that he's realized that and he's trying to make it better.

it's up to you to decide when you aren't mad at him - that's on your timeline. however, forgiving him and not speaking to him don't need to be grouped together. he's already out of town so you have the distance you need to process things without interruption. however, his actions, while arguably insensitive were not intentional but you choosing to stay mad at him and not communicate to teach him a lesson is intentional. just something to keep in mind as you're going through all of this.


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  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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