Fun with the Neighbor
Yesterday turned out to be rather cool. My neighbor finally invited me over to his place. He told me he was having an NFL Draft party, and wanted me to come. I went over with a 6 pack and it was a good time. There were only 2 other guys there and they fell in love with me. They told me they were going out to the bars in Mason at 8P (yeah, early, right) and I was coming with them.
Flash forward to 720 when these boys come knocking on my door asking me to do shots with them! So off we go to ‘The Mason Jar.’ Yeah. It’s Mason, y’all. Just go with it. Apparently is Karaoke night on Sat. so I was pumped. Me and the older guy ended up singing together and the crowd wasn’t really feeling it. Mason is kinda weird like that. You know I wanted to break into some Mariah or Whitney, but the boys advised me it wasn’t that type of bar. So we stuck to the Bon Jovi and a lil 80s rock. It was Notre Dame all over again. Well as the night goes on, the guy approaches me and wants me to meet his wife. I was so sure he was gonna ask me to make out with her. Turns out he just wanted me to sing with her cause she was shy. The couple was great. Early 30s. They both went to law school and now lived in Mason. They were cool. So the bar closed at Midnight (I KNOW!) and I invited everyone back to my neighbor’s house.
Oh, by the way, the husband picks up my friends’ tab. They were in hog heaven.
So things are going well at my neighbor’s house until Husband pulls me aside and slurs, “I’ll give you anything you want…Vuitton…Coach…anything. As long as you’re discrete.” Um, excuse me. Number one, your wife is in the next room. Number two, that’s pathetic. So the boys were getting a lil pissed with husband. He was sloppy drunk and continually talked about all the things his parents bought him and how rich he was. It was pretty unfortunate because we all liked his wife. He was just a complete dick. So, I had the pleasure of escorting him out. His wife was so apologetic! I may call her this week. She was cool. Of course, when I’m nowhere near her sleazy husband.
So now that the excitement was over, we all settled in to watch a movie. Kill Bill 2. I went next door and got a blanket and pillow and moved in on my neighbor’s cute friend. Well one guy went to sleep on the couch and my neighbor went to bed. I told my floor mate that I was going home. I wasn’t gonna sleep on the floor when I had the option of sleeping in a bed. And he was invited to come along too. Silly boy didn’t take the bait. See, this is why I don’t date people under 30 (he was 23). Anyone over 30 would have did me on the floor in front of his friends and would have definitely taken the offer to sleep at my place. He could have even made it back before anyone knew he was missing.
Oh well, we’re all having Scotch and Eggs this morning. They better be good eggs!
Edited because I always forget things: Like the NASCAR fan who almost got in a fight with the boys, and the Bulldozer driver I tried to pick up. Let me explain. There was this guy who looked about 19 in the bar. I asked him what he did and he told me he was a bulldozer driver. I responded by asking if he moved dirt from one place to another and I told him his profession was hot. He later almost got in a fight with the boys and had to be escorted out of the bar. I'm tellin' you. The Dukes of Hazard had nothing on this place. It was straight up redneck!
Flash forward to 720 when these boys come knocking on my door asking me to do shots with them! So off we go to ‘The Mason Jar.’ Yeah. It’s Mason, y’all. Just go with it. Apparently is Karaoke night on Sat. so I was pumped. Me and the older guy ended up singing together and the crowd wasn’t really feeling it. Mason is kinda weird like that. You know I wanted to break into some Mariah or Whitney, but the boys advised me it wasn’t that type of bar. So we stuck to the Bon Jovi and a lil 80s rock. It was Notre Dame all over again. Well as the night goes on, the guy approaches me and wants me to meet his wife. I was so sure he was gonna ask me to make out with her. Turns out he just wanted me to sing with her cause she was shy. The couple was great. Early 30s. They both went to law school and now lived in Mason. They were cool. So the bar closed at Midnight (I KNOW!) and I invited everyone back to my neighbor’s house.
Oh, by the way, the husband picks up my friends’ tab. They were in hog heaven.
So things are going well at my neighbor’s house until Husband pulls me aside and slurs, “I’ll give you anything you want…Vuitton…Coach…anything. As long as you’re discrete.” Um, excuse me. Number one, your wife is in the next room. Number two, that’s pathetic. So the boys were getting a lil pissed with husband. He was sloppy drunk and continually talked about all the things his parents bought him and how rich he was. It was pretty unfortunate because we all liked his wife. He was just a complete dick. So, I had the pleasure of escorting him out. His wife was so apologetic! I may call her this week. She was cool. Of course, when I’m nowhere near her sleazy husband.
So now that the excitement was over, we all settled in to watch a movie. Kill Bill 2. I went next door and got a blanket and pillow and moved in on my neighbor’s cute friend. Well one guy went to sleep on the couch and my neighbor went to bed. I told my floor mate that I was going home. I wasn’t gonna sleep on the floor when I had the option of sleeping in a bed. And he was invited to come along too. Silly boy didn’t take the bait. See, this is why I don’t date people under 30 (he was 23). Anyone over 30 would have did me on the floor in front of his friends and would have definitely taken the offer to sleep at my place. He could have even made it back before anyone knew he was missing.
Oh well, we’re all having Scotch and Eggs this morning. They better be good eggs!
Edited because I always forget things: Like the NASCAR fan who almost got in a fight with the boys, and the Bulldozer driver I tried to pick up. Let me explain. There was this guy who looked about 19 in the bar. I asked him what he did and he told me he was a bulldozer driver. I responded by asking if he moved dirt from one place to another and I told him his profession was hot. He later almost got in a fight with the boys and had to be escorted out of the bar. I'm tellin' you. The Dukes of Hazard had nothing on this place. It was straight up redneck!
