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Sunday, June 12, 2005 

Plant Sex

I spent a large part of Saturday at The Home Depot. I’m not gonna link to it. Mainly because I think a lot of my weekend posts will be about my time spent at the Depot. Anyway, I mainly went there to look at carpet and light fixtures. However, I took a run through the nursery as well. There I talked to the coolest nursery guy who told me all about the plants that grow well in Michigan and general lawn care. I really want to get some Holly bushes to go as a privacy fence on the third side of the back yard. I like hollies because that’s what I had growing up and also because they have stickers and if children happen to run into them, they’ll be scarred. Hehe. Well, Tom, the nursery guy had to tell me that if I got hollies I’d have to get one male for every 4 females. That’s the only way they’ll produce berries. Wait. So my plants will be having sex and I won’t? This seems more than unfair.

On Sunday I went mattress shopping. A mattress is the first piece of furniture that I want to buy. I’ve been sleeping on a small, uncomfortable mattress for too long. So I meet up with the relatively young sales persons. His first question was, “Do you normally sleep on your back, side, or stomach?” My response, “Well, that depends on who happens to be sleeping with me.” Of course I said this without a smile. I was dead serious. The salesboy mumbled, “Lucky guy.” Oh it’s so much fun to fuck with the help!

That was my weekend. Nothing exciting to report. Light fixtures and cabinetry are gonna get me off more than any man has now. It’s kinda sad. But I’d challenge you to go to The Depot and take a stroll through the ceiling fans and lighting. You’ll totally see what I mean.

I dunno, roomie... I personally get pretty turned on by wallpaper ;-)hehe

plant sex! HAAAAAAAAAA. i never really thought about it. but look at flowers man... lillies and the like are pretty phallic.

as for home depot... fixtures make me randy. i was once in Expo with a coworker (whom i had a crush on at the time) and we were looking at fixtures. *shudder* LOL

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  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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