Y'all Don't Know Shit!
So, apparently people shouldn't be given ultimatums. This is news to me.
Backstory: Baloo has ceased his masters to become a Foresteer or whatever and has now decided to go to med school, or P.A. school, or D.O. school. It changes by the minute. School starts on the 27th and he has yet to enroll or pick the classes he needs to take for prereqs.
So...this evening I gave him an ultimatum. Since I plan on starting school part time (and working full time) on the 27th, he can either get with the program and get into school, or we were going to have to take a break.
I discussed this conversation with Roomie and she was less than pleased. She said that he shouldn't be going to school for me, but because he wants to. What does she know? Of course people should do things because I tell them to do them. I am the great motivator. And I'm always right. I know what's in everyone else's best interest. Since Roomie obviously didn't know what she was talking about, I decided to consult Daddy Kiki.
Horror upon horrors, Daddy Kiki said the same thing! I now think they're in cahoots. Daddy Kiki basically said that Baloo doesn't seem like he knows what he wants to do and that he feels pressure to be a doc since his brother is a PhD and his sister-in-law is on her way to becoming an D.O. So Daddy Kiki told me to ask Baloo a lot of questions about what his passions are and to do less talking and more listening. And to give him the time and space to make decisions on his own. And that ultimatums are never a good idea.
Sigh. These people are obviously idiots. They know nothing about totally controlling another person to do exactly what you want.
But promise not to tell them if I happen to take their advice.
Backstory: Baloo has ceased his masters to become a Foresteer or whatever and has now decided to go to med school, or P.A. school, or D.O. school. It changes by the minute. School starts on the 27th and he has yet to enroll or pick the classes he needs to take for prereqs.
So...this evening I gave him an ultimatum. Since I plan on starting school part time (and working full time) on the 27th, he can either get with the program and get into school, or we were going to have to take a break.
I discussed this conversation with Roomie and she was less than pleased. She said that he shouldn't be going to school for me, but because he wants to. What does she know? Of course people should do things because I tell them to do them. I am the great motivator. And I'm always right. I know what's in everyone else's best interest. Since Roomie obviously didn't know what she was talking about, I decided to consult Daddy Kiki.
Horror upon horrors, Daddy Kiki said the same thing! I now think they're in cahoots. Daddy Kiki basically said that Baloo doesn't seem like he knows what he wants to do and that he feels pressure to be a doc since his brother is a PhD and his sister-in-law is on her way to becoming an D.O. So Daddy Kiki told me to ask Baloo a lot of questions about what his passions are and to do less talking and more listening. And to give him the time and space to make decisions on his own. And that ultimatums are never a good idea.
Sigh. These people are obviously idiots. They know nothing about totally controlling another person to do exactly what you want.
But promise not to tell them if I happen to take their advice.
Labels: baloo, relationship, school
it's all semantics.
you want baloo to get some direction in his life. you're working hard, going to school, handling your own mortgage...basically running the world. he's been out of school for awhile now, barely works, somehow pays the bills and has it pretty damn easy. OH. and he goes to visit bug face!
granted, an ultimatum might make it seem like you're a cold-hearted uncaring bitch. which you usually are. :-) but not deep down. deep down, you just want to be with someone who is as driven as you. and deep down, you want to be with someone you can come home to and can look at each other and know that you gave 110% that day. so i think what's really at the heart of this, is that you see all kinds of exciting things for yourself in the future, and you're thinking about hte future, but you don't get any sort of feedback like that from baloo.
so i guess you can either be a dolly parton and be the big star and have a quiet guy at home and out of the spotlight that people never see. or you can be like sissy and mr. sissy and both work your tails off cuz you like to and you're capable to do it. it all boils down to what makes you happy. if deep down, you can't come to terms with someone as driven or as focused as you then you have to do what you have to do. doesn't mean yo udon't love someone any less. just means that you love them enough to let them go and that you love you enough to look out for yourselfand your goals.
the end.
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wed Aug 08, 11:53:00 PM EDT
"deep down, you just want to be with someone who is as driven as you. and deep down, you want to be with someone you can come home to and can look at each other and know that you gave 110% that day."
I could not agree MORE (sounds like a sentiment from kipper - don't let his hotness fool you, he's smarter than he looks!)
Well said.
~R
Posted by
Anonymous |
Thu Aug 09, 09:47:00 AM EDT
oh. and deep down i know you want baloo to be happy too. i guess i forgot about him in all of this. :-)
don't end up like tina fey in 'mean girls' and be a pusher! you'll get divorced and have to be around high schoolers all day. i'm just saying...
Posted by
Anonymous |
Thu Aug 09, 10:03:00 AM EDT