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Monday, October 31, 2005 

Happy Halloween!


This is the first time I've celebrated Halloween in a long time. When I was little, I wasn't allowed to go trick 'o treating. Instead I would sit in a closet and pray for all the damned little children reveling in their wickedness. Not really. But what a sad sad story.


Anywho...like I was saying, this is the first Halloween I've actually observed in a long time. I wanted to do a really good job this year because it's my first Halloween in my new neighborhood and I know the neighbors would judge me on the quality of candy I gave to the crumb snatchers. So, I bought a bucket of Dubble Bubble (with 360 pieces, much like the bucket above) from Sam's and waited for the lil ones. I turned my light on a 6:30 p.m. It is currently 9:00 p.m. I still have 1/2 a tub left! The children must sense I'm evil and are afraid to knock on my door.

I did meet some of my neighbors tonight though. People up north never cease to amaze me. One little girl said she liked my house and she wondered who lived here. She told me she lives at the end of my street. I told her if she was so curious to know who lived here she should have just come by and said hello. That's what we do in the South. Hell, we're nosy down there. The second someone moves into the neighborhood you stop by their house and try to find out all their business.

The kids who live across the street in the Meth house stopped by as well. They were actually pleasant. I think it's cause they were doped up on meth.

I didn't see the kid who mows my lawn. He and his little brother live across the street too. I guess seeing me once a week is all the kid can take of seeing me. I totally understand.

So I guess I'll turn my light off at 10:00. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with 180 pieces of Dubble Bubble. It doesn't really fit into my 700 calorie diet. Guess I'll just take it to work and make everyone else fat. Because I'm evil like that.

I see you maybe twice a year. And that's too much. So I can totally understand why the neighbor kid didn't swing by.

Perhaps you could chew the gum and put it in people's hair at the mall. Ya know, for fun.

And you are evil. And I enjoy that.

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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