Crazies with Money
Eventful things don't happen to me as often now that I have a steady man-toy. So we have to look for the simple things.
My first mistake was to go to the bank in the first place. I'm usually an ATM girl, but I needed a weird amount of cash for the beautician I'm seeing on Saturday. And you don't want to fuck with the money of the woman who's doing your hair.
She was being waited on at the teller desk. I couldn't see her face but I imagined what it looked like just by looking at her clothes. Her hair was stringy and she was wearing a suit. That was bought from Meijers. Ok. That was mean. I shouldn't be judgmental. Let me just discribe the suit. I could see her cooch, her skirt was so short, and it was absolutely wrinkled.
I was next in line and this very very large woman stood in line behind me. She reeked of cigarette smoke. If I was in the right mood, I wanted to turn to her and say, "Sweetheart, most people smoke to get skinny. If the cigs haven't been working so far, just give them up." Back to the story. Lover boy stood in line behind ole' Smokey. He had on a red flannel shirt that looked dirty and it looked like he hadn't shaved for a decade or so. Real classy. I would have done him. Eww. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
"I really like your suit."
Are you kidding me? He was two people behind me in line and she was in the process of being waited on.
"Thanks."
"That looks like a really nice suit. It looks expensive. It looks like the kind of suit you wear when you're going to a job interview. My sister had to buy a suit like that once before. It took forever to decide which suit to get, cause she could either get a really expensive suit and spend a lot of money, or get two suits that were less expensive. She got a nice suit like that."
"Thanks. But I wouldn't really say it's an interview suit."
At this point I wanted to shout, "It looks more like a hooker suit to me, sweetie!" But it was my turn at the teller and I really didn't care.
Hooker Suit and Lover Boy were still in the bank when I left. I can't believe someone was trying to get their mack on like that.
I guess I learned my lesson about visiting my neighborhood bank. Next time I'm going to the ATM.
My first mistake was to go to the bank in the first place. I'm usually an ATM girl, but I needed a weird amount of cash for the beautician I'm seeing on Saturday. And you don't want to fuck with the money of the woman who's doing your hair.
She was being waited on at the teller desk. I couldn't see her face but I imagined what it looked like just by looking at her clothes. Her hair was stringy and she was wearing a suit. That was bought from Meijers. Ok. That was mean. I shouldn't be judgmental. Let me just discribe the suit. I could see her cooch, her skirt was so short, and it was absolutely wrinkled.
I was next in line and this very very large woman stood in line behind me. She reeked of cigarette smoke. If I was in the right mood, I wanted to turn to her and say, "Sweetheart, most people smoke to get skinny. If the cigs haven't been working so far, just give them up." Back to the story. Lover boy stood in line behind ole' Smokey. He had on a red flannel shirt that looked dirty and it looked like he hadn't shaved for a decade or so. Real classy. I would have done him. Eww. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
"I really like your suit."
Are you kidding me? He was two people behind me in line and she was in the process of being waited on.
"Thanks."
"That looks like a really nice suit. It looks expensive. It looks like the kind of suit you wear when you're going to a job interview. My sister had to buy a suit like that once before. It took forever to decide which suit to get, cause she could either get a really expensive suit and spend a lot of money, or get two suits that were less expensive. She got a nice suit like that."
"Thanks. But I wouldn't really say it's an interview suit."
At this point I wanted to shout, "It looks more like a hooker suit to me, sweetie!" But it was my turn at the teller and I really didn't care.
Hooker Suit and Lover Boy were still in the bank when I left. I can't believe someone was trying to get their mack on like that.
I guess I learned my lesson about visiting my neighborhood bank. Next time I'm going to the ATM.
Keep up the good work
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