See, what had happened was....
I was so excited to see The Cop today. I even had a schedule. I woke up at 7A (because my body thinks that's a fun game to play on the weekends), cleaned my house, took a shower, shaved, smelled pretty, then took a nap. Left for Detroit at noon. Caught a workout at Bally's. Now this is where the emotional rollercoaster of my day began.
I wanted to run three miles today at Bally's. I'm training a girl in the office to run a 5K in September, and I wanted to get in a full three miles today. I couldn't do it! For some reason, I couldn't finish the entire three miles. Thus began my first breakdown of the day. I started freaking out that I was getting old and I wouldn't be able to do the things I could actively do when I was younger. I never want to be that person. So after my run I made a resolution to not eat for the rest of the day. To punish my body for not being young. However, I passed the scale in the locker room and decided to weigh myself. Turns out I've lost about 3-4 pounds since I last weighed myself (probably when I lived back in Detroit). This lifted my confidence. I then decided I wouldn't eat for the rest of the day to stay skinny.
I texted The Cop on my way from the gym to the mall. We had kinda agreed to meet up and he would take me on a motorcycle ride today since the weather was PERFECT. The Cop called me back when I was in Marshall Fields buying Kipper's birthday present and I missed his call. By the time I called him back, I couln't reach him.
While listening to the message from The Cop, I happened to pass by Victoria's Secret. I was looking at a really hot maroon number (so apprently what I saw wasn't online, so just take a look at this hot maroon number) when I happened to complain to the sales associate that I can never wear the cute stuff cause it starts at a size 34B. She asked me what I thought I was and I replied, "Oh, I'm a 34A." To which she threw back her head and laughed. God, I love black people! She called over two other associates and told them that I thought I was a 34A and they laughed as well. One of the girls was a timid white girl skinnier than Kate Moss and she opened her jacket to show me what a real A cup was. I am not an A cup. My sales associate had me try on a 34B and it fit so well! So, not only have I lost weight, but my boobs were getting bigger. I couldn't wait to let The Cop in on this discovery!
Trouble was, I couldn't get ahold of The Cop. He always keeps his phone on vibrate. You know, just in case he's going into a crackhouse in Detroit trying to apprehend a suspect and he's being all stealthy. That's the most inconvenient time for Ludicris' Hoes in Different Area Codes to go off. So I was getting tired of the mall, it had been 2 hours since he left that VM, and I was getting impatient. So, naturally, I left him a nasty VM, got in a huff, and left Detroit.
Fast forward three hours later when The Cop calls to apologize. I had a drink by then so I was nice and livid. What was his excuse for not calling me for three hours? He was visiting a friend in the hospital...the Psych Ward! But before that he was with his nephwes at the pool and helping his mother at her house, and donating a kidney. How can you be mad at that?! It was the crazy friend in the hospital that really touched me. Lord knows that one of these days I'm sure that's gonna be me, and at least I can count on The Cop blowing off a girl to come visit me.
So The Cop did apologize and tell me that he'd make it up to me anyway I like. I'm gonna have to take a few days to think about that so I can make it really good. I'm thinking a trip out of town with me will be in his future.
I wanted to run three miles today at Bally's. I'm training a girl in the office to run a 5K in September, and I wanted to get in a full three miles today. I couldn't do it! For some reason, I couldn't finish the entire three miles. Thus began my first breakdown of the day. I started freaking out that I was getting old and I wouldn't be able to do the things I could actively do when I was younger. I never want to be that person. So after my run I made a resolution to not eat for the rest of the day. To punish my body for not being young. However, I passed the scale in the locker room and decided to weigh myself. Turns out I've lost about 3-4 pounds since I last weighed myself (probably when I lived back in Detroit). This lifted my confidence. I then decided I wouldn't eat for the rest of the day to stay skinny.
I texted The Cop on my way from the gym to the mall. We had kinda agreed to meet up and he would take me on a motorcycle ride today since the weather was PERFECT. The Cop called me back when I was in Marshall Fields buying Kipper's birthday present and I missed his call. By the time I called him back, I couln't reach him.
While listening to the message from The Cop, I happened to pass by Victoria's Secret. I was looking at a really hot maroon number (so apprently what I saw wasn't online, so just take a look at this hot maroon number) when I happened to complain to the sales associate that I can never wear the cute stuff cause it starts at a size 34B. She asked me what I thought I was and I replied, "Oh, I'm a 34A." To which she threw back her head and laughed. God, I love black people! She called over two other associates and told them that I thought I was a 34A and they laughed as well. One of the girls was a timid white girl skinnier than Kate Moss and she opened her jacket to show me what a real A cup was. I am not an A cup. My sales associate had me try on a 34B and it fit so well! So, not only have I lost weight, but my boobs were getting bigger. I couldn't wait to let The Cop in on this discovery!
Trouble was, I couldn't get ahold of The Cop. He always keeps his phone on vibrate. You know, just in case he's going into a crackhouse in Detroit trying to apprehend a suspect and he's being all stealthy. That's the most inconvenient time for Ludicris' Hoes in Different Area Codes to go off. So I was getting tired of the mall, it had been 2 hours since he left that VM, and I was getting impatient. So, naturally, I left him a nasty VM, got in a huff, and left Detroit.
Fast forward three hours later when The Cop calls to apologize. I had a drink by then so I was nice and livid. What was his excuse for not calling me for three hours? He was visiting a friend in the hospital...the Psych Ward! But before that he was with his nephwes at the pool and helping his mother at her house, and donating a kidney. How can you be mad at that?! It was the crazy friend in the hospital that really touched me. Lord knows that one of these days I'm sure that's gonna be me, and at least I can count on The Cop blowing off a girl to come visit me.
So The Cop did apologize and tell me that he'd make it up to me anyway I like. I'm gonna have to take a few days to think about that so I can make it really good. I'm thinking a trip out of town with me will be in his future.
you lost weight and your boobs are getting bigger? now, kiki, i believe a lot of the lies you spew...but even this one is hard for daddy kipper to believe!
just fess up to selling your soul (again) and be done with it! :-P
Posted by
Anonymous |
Sun Jul 31, 02:16:00 PM EDT
as you've been begging for so long...i've finally created a screen name. now all the nasty things i say about you will not be anonymous, but there for the whole world to see. transparency is fun...
and yes, i do poo while i'm on the phone with you. deal!
Posted by
Pocket Kip |
Mon Aug 01, 08:27:00 PM EDT