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Thursday, January 18, 2007 

Spinster For Life

I read this article yesterday (ok, I read the headline, not the article. Words are hard!) and last night I laid in bed thinking about what it had to say. 51% of women are now living without a man. It made me think that I'm a bit of a sell out because I have a great boyfriend. I always envisioned myself as this strong independent woman. A woman who doesn't need a man, but wouldn't mind having one around as well. I never wanted to depend solely on a man as I wanted to make sure that I was financially secure on my own. However, I wanted to make sure that my man could provide for me. This attitude has cost me. Take for instance this weekend. For some reason I was being really moody and I snapped at Baloo that I didn't need his help for anything. Anything I needed to do, I could do myself. I wasn't thinking when I said it. About an hour later, he left to go home to take care of some business and while he was gone he decided to shovel his sidewalk and driveway. He came back into the house and told me that he was going to do my driveway, but I didn't need his help because I was an independent woman. If it wasn't for the awesome workout I got while shoveling the driveway and sidewalk, I would have been really pissed that Baloo didn't offer to help out. I guess he's pretty sick of me always refusing his help.

Sometimes I feel guilty about having a boyfriend. I'm supposed to be the strong, independent woman. I shouldn't need a man. And in reality, I don't need Baloo. I just like to have him around. He's great company and a very good companion.

So am I abandoning my sisters who are out there and single? Maybe. But I know that it's smarter for me to not be too boastful or get too comfortable. Because I could be right there with them again at any time.

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I was a kid in the early 70's. I loved the "radical" feminists like Gloria Steinem and Angela Davis. I wanted to grow up to be Marlo Thomas from That Girl: totally independent.

Reality check: Gloria Steinem fell in love and was married at the age of 67. Marlo Thomas married Phil Donahue. They have been married for 20 some years. Both of those women are strong.They don't need men to complete them. They just happened to have found men that they love.
So, do your thang! If you have a guy you love, enjoy your time with him.

I have to agree with M, kiki. You earned your degree on your own, you're getting your masters, you have your own mortgage, own car. You provide for yourself on a daily basis. I don't think you need to worry about being left high and dry by someone someday.

That being said, it's human nature to reach a point where you desire the companionship of someone else. There's no harm in wanting to share your life and have someone readily available to laugh with and talk to and lay in bed with on a Saturday morning. It's programmed into us.

And look at it this way. If you couple up, it tends to be cheaper cuz you're splitting all the costs you'd normally have to share yourself. So you can save money (keep the mortgage in your name, tho!) and buy all kinds of bling to show your sisters that you really can have it all.

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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