Untitled
When I was a senior in high school, my friends set me up with this guy to go to our winter formal. He was nice enough. We all met at our friend’s house where we took pictures and then headed on the party bus to our dinner destination. During dinner, my date had his elbows on the table the entire time. After dinner we got back on the bus and headed to the dance. I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night because of his discretion. So, when David directed me to meet him for lunch at a restaurant that had gone out of business, I knew it was my duty to give him a hard time thereafter.
We finally ended up at House of Ing. I’m not really a lunch person. Most days I don’t eat lunch. I just go home and watch Divorce Court . I wasn’t really in the mood for Chinese but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go last minute. David was chatty. I wasn’t. He immediately knew there was something wrong and I explained to him that I’m a woman of organization and planning. Since he picked the lunch spot, he should have confirmed that they were open for business. Not gone out of business. He apologized and said that maybe it was ‘meant to be’ that we ended up at House of Ing.
I let him do all the talking. By this time I had written him off. When the check came we both stared at it. He asked me, “Is this something that you can expense to your company?” To which I responded, “I only expense meals that I have with important people.” He was stunned. I was serious. I eventually ended up paying. If it was going to cost me $13 to get him off my back, well money well spent. After the check was paid he talked some more. He wanted me to ask questions since he spent the entire hour asking me things. I had two questions for him. “How old are you?” “32.” “Are you married?” “Yes.” After he said that he looked away and took another sip of his Coke. At least now I’m getting in the habit of asking.
Even before I had a chance to ask my two deciding questions I gave him a hard time. I didn’t smile. I didn’t eat my egg drop soup. I told him I intentionally put up barriers because I don’t really like for people to get to know me. I asked him if I intimidated him. Even though he said no, I knew he was uncomfortable. I was doing everything in my power to make him sweat. To punish him for sending me to an out of business restaurant. I wanted to make sure he only made that mistake once. But I do have to give him credit for trying. He was nice and friendly. He genuinely wanted to get to know me. I’m done with him. He’s married. And I remember how shitty I felt the last time I was tricked into going out with a married man and I’d rather be alone than feel shitty again. I told him about my conquest of Fetsby and how I held out till I got jewelry and then dropped him. He commented that it’s so one dimensional for anyone to only have the end goal of sex in mind. Oh, don’t be so critical. Before I outed you on being married, I’m sure it was on your mind too.
I guess I was just so fucking tired of being lonely. Yeah I hook up occasionally. That’s done to please me. But I miss having someone else want to be around me for reasons other than sex. Maybe I’m partially to blame. If I find something (a man) I want, I’m quick to let it be known and to grab it. That usually ends up as a roll in the sack. Conveying actual feelings is a much harder task that I’m just too stubborn to learn and apply.
Sure he’s not attractive. Sure he doesn’t have the highest paying job. Sure he doesn’t have a graduate degree (now that I’m in the process of getting mine, I’ve added it to my list of ‘must haves’ for a person who wants access to my time). But I don’t say no. I have a hard time of weeding out the losers for fear of being judgmental. Plus, if I say no, it’s just one more opportunity to be alone. And yes, I’d rather go out with a skinny, unattractive guy who’s really into me and willing to spend time with me than
Since he figured out I’m not big on eating, he asked if I would meet him for a drink in the future. He must have picked up real fast on the fact that I love my alcohol. I didn’t give him a definite answer. As he walked me to my car I told him that I’m not as scary as I portray myself. And then I drove away.
We finally ended up at House of Ing. I’m not really a lunch person. Most days I don’t eat lunch. I just go home and watch Divorce Court . I wasn’t really in the mood for Chinese but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go last minute. David was chatty. I wasn’t. He immediately knew there was something wrong and I explained to him that I’m a woman of organization and planning. Since he picked the lunch spot, he should have confirmed that they were open for business. Not gone out of business. He apologized and said that maybe it was ‘meant to be’ that we ended up at House of Ing.
I let him do all the talking. By this time I had written him off. When the check came we both stared at it. He asked me, “Is this something that you can expense to your company?” To which I responded, “I only expense meals that I have with important people.” He was stunned. I was serious. I eventually ended up paying. If it was going to cost me $13 to get him off my back, well money well spent. After the check was paid he talked some more. He wanted me to ask questions since he spent the entire hour asking me things. I had two questions for him. “How old are you?” “32.” “Are you married?” “Yes.” After he said that he looked away and took another sip of his Coke. At least now I’m getting in the habit of asking.
Even before I had a chance to ask my two deciding questions I gave him a hard time. I didn’t smile. I didn’t eat my egg drop soup. I told him I intentionally put up barriers because I don’t really like for people to get to know me. I asked him if I intimidated him. Even though he said no, I knew he was uncomfortable. I was doing everything in my power to make him sweat. To punish him for sending me to an out of business restaurant. I wanted to make sure he only made that mistake once. But I do have to give him credit for trying. He was nice and friendly. He genuinely wanted to get to know me. I’m done with him. He’s married. And I remember how shitty I felt the last time I was tricked into going out with a married man and I’d rather be alone than feel shitty again. I told him about my conquest of Fetsby and how I held out till I got jewelry and then dropped him. He commented that it’s so one dimensional for anyone to only have the end goal of sex in mind. Oh, don’t be so critical. Before I outed you on being married, I’m sure it was on your mind too.
I guess I was just so fucking tired of being lonely. Yeah I hook up occasionally. That’s done to please me. But I miss having someone else want to be around me for reasons other than sex. Maybe I’m partially to blame. If I find something (a man) I want, I’m quick to let it be known and to grab it. That usually ends up as a roll in the sack. Conveying actual feelings is a much harder task that I’m just too stubborn to learn and apply.
Sure he’s not attractive. Sure he doesn’t have the highest paying job. Sure he doesn’t have a graduate degree (now that I’m in the process of getting mine, I’ve added it to my list of ‘must haves’ for a person who wants access to my time). But I don’t say no. I have a hard time of weeding out the losers for fear of being judgmental. Plus, if I say no, it’s just one more opportunity to be alone. And yes, I’d rather go out with a skinny, unattractive guy who’s really into me and willing to spend time with me than
Since he figured out I’m not big on eating, he asked if I would meet him for a drink in the future. He must have picked up real fast on the fact that I love my alcohol. I didn’t give him a definite answer. As he walked me to my car I told him that I’m not as scary as I portray myself. And then I drove away.
I SOOO respect your high standards. I need to learn from you!
However, I worry that you will be single a long time! I swear, the male species have completely abdicated responsibility to women.
They expect us to ask them out, plan the date, pay half or all, excite the hell out of them in bed and put up with their cheating and/or moodiness.
Our reward is that we get to marry one and be his cook, laundry woman, nurse, lover,mother of his children and bring home half the bacon.
PS thank you for the comment on my blog (-:
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wed Oct 04, 08:34:00 PM EDT
i was wondering if you could expense the cost of my ticket last weekend to see you to the company a well? cuz evidently that's what you ask people about at inappropriate times.
not all men are pigs. dr. wave treats me like a real lady. that's ms. kipper, if you're nasty.
but i guess i have to give him things like feelings and hugs and kisses for that. it was hard...but the dinners are worth it.
you konw what my answer is...call the young'un and tell him you're driving there this weekend!
Posted by
Pocket Kip |
Wed Oct 04, 10:26:00 PM EDT
I wish I had high standards! That's probably the reason I'll go out with anything that comes my way!
I have a feeling I'll be single for a long time too. Hence buying my own home and trying to work hard to make my own money. I'm completly (well not really...I still hold out hope) that I will be a spinster (to Daddy Kiki's chagrin). I'm sure I just need to unwind a bit. It's a work in progress.
And yes Kipper, I think your suggestion is good. I may even have to make the hour drive out to see the Young'un. At least he thinks I'm hot shit no matter what!
Posted by
Kiki |
Wed Oct 04, 10:39:00 PM EDT