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Monday, September 25, 2006 

Here’s to Being Single, Seeing Double, and Sleeping Triple

I can not begin to tell you how excited I was by Kipper and Dr. Wave’s visit. So, let’s get to it:

The boys arrived in Detroit on Friday night where I picked them up and we went to Troppo’s for dinner. We were going to stay home and watch Dateline: To Catch A Predator but decided against it. I really can’t get enough of that show! Anyway we each had 5 martinis for dinner and when my entrée arrived, I was so excited I gave it ‘jazz hands.’ However our waiter informed me that he had already given my food jazz hands. It was at that moment our suspicions were confirmed and he was indeed a big ‘Mo.

After dinner we went back home where we had some of the limoncello that the boys had made for me. And we waited for the cab to take us to Spirals. Although I called the cab the day before to reserve a pickup, they never showed and so I drove. No biggie. Spirals was nice inside. I had been there before with a friend when I first moved to town. Even after the 5 martinis we weren’t drunk so we ended up getting 3 rounds of shots and a beer each. While sitting at a table checking out the scenery, this awful man leaned into Kipper and asked for the time. Kipper politely showed the guy his watch and turned away to keep talking to us. I’m not real clear on what happened next. It was obvious this douche was into Kipper. I mean, who’s not? But Kipper’s with Dr. Wave (also a very attractive man) and we were just there to hang out. The next thing I know this guy says, “You know, I can go from nice to bitch in 2.5 seconds.” And he went there. Obviously Kipper and I had to put him in his place. Douche then kept blowing his ciggie smoke into our faces. In response we inhaled deeply and made orgasmic noises. Then we attacked his clothing, his hair and his weight (he was a fattie). Douche stood around for a few minutes later before he left. He might have been able to go from nice to bitch in 2.5 seconds, but we were able to destroy his soul and make him take up cutting in less time.

After Spirals we went to Rum Runners. There was a Rum Runners in South Bend that Kipper and I went to a couple times. Mainly because they served $.075 well drinks. I’m still not sure how they still have a liquor license. Anyway, Rum Runners was pretty empty but we were the life of the party. Even though we weren’t drunk, we were plenty obnoxious. We ordered 30 test tube shots of blowjobs, tequila sunrise, and dirty girlscouts. We sang to all the songs and Kipper tried to ask one of the unattractive waitresses when her baby was due (heh). I even tried to get random guys to take shots with me but they refused. I’m not sure who in their right mind turns down free shots. Apparently guys who live in Lansing.

When we got back home, none of us were drunk so we all went to bed.

On Saturday we lounged around. We went to Target to get the new Monopoly game and we played that while I grilled.

Big Daddy Taxi took us to campus at about 5 for the game. While walking to the Alumni Association tailgate, we were cursed out about 85 times. The MSU fans were really rude. There were three of us not making eye contact or saying anything to anyone else. We were repeatedly told, ‘Fuck You, Notre Dame.’ One guy even told us that Notre Dame was gay and that he shoved the entire football team up his ass and it came out the other end. We really wanted to pull this guy aside and talk to him for many reasons. 1) doesn’t the fact that he shoved a football team up his ass make him gay? 2) How many holes does he have going on down there that a football team was shoved up it and then exited out the other side. We were thoroughly confused.

We took a case of beer to the tailgate and proceeded to play ‘Screw the Dealer.’ Dr. Wave got really drunk. Kip and Kiki? Not so much.

Ok, fast forward to the game. We get to the stadium and to our seats. Kip was able to sneak in a soft cooler under his poncho and I was taking snacks from said poncho at the beginning of the game. The MSU fan behind us made a smart comment when Kipper turned around, looked him in the eyes and said, “I have a kidney problem.” The MSU fan felt bad and said sorry. Cut to 2 quarters later when said fan started making fun of Kipper and his ‘kidney problem’ because we were down. Classy.

We left the game a little early. It got to a point where we were afraid that someone was going to get into a fight. The fans were really rowdy and we needed to get out of there for our safety whether we won or lost. So we went back to The Dungeon, got three 40s and a case of Parrot Bay Wine Coolers and watched the Irish win from the safety of The Dungeon.

On Sunday I took the boys back to the airport. It was a good time. I was glad Kipper finally got to see The Dungeon and I had fun spending more time with Dr. Wave. It’s been an eventful day. More stories to come!

Edit: I also have to share my new cheer with you courtesy of KPutty:

(Sing to: If You're Happy and You Know It)
If you can't go to college, go to State
If you can't go to college, go to State
If you can't go to college, and you want a little knowledge
If you can't go to college, go to State

PS? That game made me so happy. I'm glad you had fun with Kip and Dr. Wave!

it's also important to note that we drank limoncello on saturday before we killed the case. and i'd like to mention that daddy kipper did NOT sleep on friday night. at all. and yet he still was never really drunk.

and we drunked dialed alot of people on friday night. and fetsby is a douche bag. and boss man's friends has the biggest neck in the world.


and the dungeon is really really cute and dave and i are going to steal it!

I like your song!! It makes me happy!

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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