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Saturday, December 03, 2005 

Oh yeah, Krazy Kiki's Back!

So apparently in Kiki's world hiatus = one day. Just stop your complaining and enjoy the story!

First off, thanks to all who cared that I was dead. MB, Daddy Kipper, and Roomie. Big ups to Daddy Kipper who was willing to take over The Dungeon upon my death. I hope you would have turned it into a brothel and paid the mortgage with the money little gay boys made turning tricks. It was my only wish.

Ok, now on to the good stuff! The cause of my brief death: The Cop left me.

Wow! It's taken me a week to finally say it without wanting to hurl heavy blunt objects and peoples' heads. For those of you who don't know the full story, this isn't the first time The Cop has just disappeared on me. We dated in June of last year and one day he just didn't call. I was devastated because we hadn't had a fight and there were no warning signs. I cried, I didn't eat (not that that's a bad thing!), and I was just shitty for a while. Well, the last time I talked to The Cop was the Friday after Thanksgiving. Again, no fight. I guess the warning signs could have been his family taking over his life. I was upset for a few days. Mostly because this time he lied. Before we got back together I asked him never to treat me that way again. And he did. I wasn't so upset that we weren't together. I was more upset that I fell for it again, and for another year I'd have no one for Christmas or New Years. Speaking of New Years, who wants to go to the Bowl game with me?

Well Kiki is sluttier and wiser now. So instead of letting The Cop get me down, I did something to make myself happy. FLA (he's new...there's been no introduction of him before) called me on Monday afternoon and told me he was gonna be in Ann Arbor and wanted to know if I wanted to have dinner with him. I abruptly told him that it wasn't a good time and hung up on him before he could repond. On Tuesday, FLA called again and told me that he had lost about 30 lbs and he really wanted to take me to dinner so he could show himself off. I told him that I wasn't sleeping with him (I never had in the past) and that as long as he just wanted to have dinner, I was game.

So, he drives from Ann Arbor to have dinner with me. I pick an expensive restaurant. I hadn't really discussed the breakup with anyone, so I decided I'd make FLA my shoulder to cry on. A Filet Mignon, two hot toddies, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio later I spilled my guts. No tears, but I just let it all out. Now remember children, Miss Kiki is much smarter than any man, so I knew exactly what I was doing. I had no desire to take FLA back to my place, so I let him talk himself up and think he was gonna get some rebound sex just so I could talk to an outside party about how shitty The Cop is. See. That's generosity. I know my friends get tired of hearing my sad cry stories, so I inflict them on strangers with money.

So, during our dinner, I was deeply distracted by gleaming diamonds on the rings of the couples sitting behind FLA. And, while waiting for FLA to get to the restaurant, I heard the waitress ask the Shiny Couple if they were doctors. They both were. I think we know where this is going.

So by dessert time, I happened to catch Mr. Dr.'s eye and smile. He smiled back and his wife kinda caught him. Well I struck up a conversation with both Dr.'s and kinda ignored FLA. They were great! Wifey and I talked about the only things important in life are being rich and skinny! She didn't want to admit that at first but I drew it out of her. Mr. Dr. and I chatted as well. We all left at the same time and they invited us to go to the bar around the corner. (Now of course, this story is a bit edited. We didn't so much end up at another bar. It was more like a club of sorts. That's all I'm saying. If you want the truth, call me and I'll tell you.) Somehow FLA wised up and realized that I wasn't taking him home, so he started flirting with some of the girls. I didn't mind. I was talking to two very shiny people!

While Mrs. Dr. was in the bathroom, Mr. Dr. asked for my number. I figured he was that type of guy. However, he didn't want my number just to hook up with me. He was really interested in seeing me and his wife together. Whatever. I gave both him and Mrs. Dr. my numbers and she said she'd call me. I didn't expect much. I left the bar, went home, and passed out. Not bad for a Tuesday night.

I hope someday to be a Shiny Person...

how the fcuk did i miss this entry?!

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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