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Thursday, September 29, 2005 


Mama Kiki: My boyfriend is a vegetarian but doesn't eat vegetables. Do you have suggestions for some books/recipes I could use to make some delicious meals?

Kim O'Donnel: So he's a carbo-tarian? Let me count the ways to make great mashed potato and icecream casserole...What DOES he eat?

The veggie, non veggie question: I commiserate with situation where meals are made for two people one veggie and one non-veggie. Over the summer I was spending a lot of time with my mother helping her move and while she likes veggies enough, she's not a vegetarian. I think that there are practical and emotional issues here and they sometimes overlap. There's questons of how far you (and he) want to cook two meals. With my mother I often made my main meal as her side dish and had to cook separately her meat or fish. This brings up two other questions: 1. how much you want to change his eating habits or just leave well alone for him deal with -- sounds like he's happy with his choices and you could just leave him to his meat and maybe waft a potato or two under his nose 2. how comfortable you are with dating a meat-eater, and in particular a meat-eater on his end of the scale? Sorry to come over all Hax-ish - but these are issues we veggies seem to face all the time. I'm a big foodie and I've given a lot of thought to what is and isn't important to me in my boyfriend's attitude towards eating.

Kim O'Donnel: You are absolutely on the mark, dear. Food is highly personal AND emotional, whether we realize it or not. With more and more vegetarians, this dilemma is becoming quite common. I'd have a really hard time with an unadventurous eater, for example. Or someone who preferred a drive-thru window over a farm market. These issues can be as important as other preferences, such as shoes, fingernails, body piercing, religion...it ain't easy.

For the carbotarian's girlfriend: As a reformed carbo-tarian myself (and having converted my bacon-and-'burgers boyfriend to a vegetarian)... would beans be an acceptable compromise to start with? Bean chili and bean burritos still have the starchy mouthfeel to them, but can be pretty healty. You can gradually add veggies from there/hide them in the chili.

Kim O'Donnel: Good point. And maybe grilled mushrooms as well...or some treatment with eggs

Mama Kiki: He eats a lot of pizza. I'm trying to change his eating habits. I'm getting him to eat more tofu and rice. Any suggestions? This is the first time I found this site and I'm so excited to get some many great ideas!

Kim O'Donnel: Mama Kiki, just so you know, you can't change your man. EVER. You can show him a few tricks and maybe he'll come along. But if you think you can change him, you're gonna be disappointed. If he eats lots of pizza, maybe you two could learn how to make dough together. I have a recipe/how-to that might be of interest. Pizza doesn't have to be junky. If he likes tofu, maybe add just one kind of veg in there. Thinly sliced carrots, for instance, something that most finicky eaters don't take issue with. Tofu is fun on skewers by the way, and tastes great grilled.

Men who won't eat veggies!: My question isn't so much "What's with these men?" as it is, "How did their mothers raise them their whole childhood without ever having them eat vegetables? And why are -we- made to suffer for it?!"

Kim O'Donnel: We're living in interesting times. If you're in your 30s or 40s, and you grew up in this country, there's a good chance you didn't learn how to cook from your mom. I didn't. She was sucked into the marketing magic of instant mashed potatoes and frozen Bird's Eye combinations and meatballs out of a can. I didn't have fresh broccoli until I was 18. Seriously. So now, with a changing social climate, in which this generation is learning as adults all about exotic mushrooms and fancy olive oil and sea salt, we're caught in a conundrum. We were weaned on fast food and many of us still are; people think you're a snob if you go to a farm market. These are growing pains and ones that I think eventually will dissipate.

Re: Food and Long-Term Compatability: There's a great thread at donrockwell.com right now about food being the new sex- specifically about how eating preferences and food compatability is what will keep the relationship going even after some other passions have lessened.

Kim O'Donnel: Thanks. Will have to check it out. I remember when I made soup for someone I was dating years ago. He had a bad cold and I transported all of my goodies on the Metro. When he dipped into the soup, which I so lovingly prepared, he told me something in the soup was undercooked. That was the end of the relationship.

Non-Veggie Boyfriend: I am in a (vaguely) similar end of the spectrum as the reader with a non-veggie boyfriend. I have five housemates, and one does not eat veggies, although he will try one bite on occasion (to say nothing of the girl who hates all non-green beans, though she has never tasted them). I cook most of the meals for the whole house and have had success with:
Root veggies, as they resemble potatoes -- turnips, celeriac, parsnip and carrots snuck into pureed potato leek soup, in stews and roasted (turnips look deceptively like potatoes when grilled).
Paella type dishes where veggies are cut small and melt into the rice. Meat served on the side.
On the other hand, I think refusing to eat (or at least try) foods you don't like is a sign of a closed mind.

Kim O'Donnel: Thanks, great ideas for one-on-ones as well as group settings...

This was the conversation I had in a chat room on Washingtonpost.com. It started innocently enough. Then I started getting relationship advice, people started telling me about food and sex and basically saying that The Cop is a freak (and he is in more ways than one). I just wanted some recipes so I could feed my man! However, I have to say that I got really excited because all of a sudden the chat room focused on me and my dilemma. And you know how Kiki likes to be the center of attention! That’s all I have to say.

About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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