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Saturday, February 16, 2008 

Are You Sure You Want Me to Blog?

So it's 3:00 a.m. and I'm still up. Don't worry. I've already passed out once tonight!

So I was just thinking to myself, "Did I take a Dulcolax or a Dexatrim earlier tonight?" See, I figured I'd take a laxative tonight because Baloo is out of town ice climbing, and I have a three day weekend. Why wouldn't I want to be regular? But I took the pills a few hours ago and nothing has happened as of yet. I have a lot of pills in a drawer in my bathroom and you'd be surprised how similar Dulcolax tablets and Dexatrim tablets look. Oh well, if I don't poo by tomorrow, I'll try something else.

So tonight I've been rediscovering Janet Jackson in prep for her new album drop. Currently I'm listening to Design of a Decade, Velvet Rope, and Rhythm Nation.

Sorry I don't have more interesting stories, kids. Maybe cooler things will happen later on in the weekend...stay posted!

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You know, when I first started reading your blog, I was getting shocked by your accounts of dating and sexual exploits. Now I'm shocked by your accounts of laxatives and pooping. I really don't know which one is worse.

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"I have lots of pills in a drawer in my bathroom." Are any of them yours or are they all stolen from old scams and coworkers?!?

hm... I am not sure of the logic here. Why do you have to take a laxative when Baloo is out of town? Do you not poop when he is in town? Man, if you can't poop when your BF is around, how the heck are you ever going to live with a man on a long term basis?

Or...are taking the laxative to lose weight? If so, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, WOMAN!!! I was in group therapy with a woman who took laxatives on a long term basis. She bloated up. She lost the ability to poop on her own and had to wear a colostomy bag. So, stop it, stop it, stop it if you are doing it to lose weight.

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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