Sista sLedge.r

I got drunk last night. It started innocently enough. I went to a dinner function, had a cocktail, had a glass of wine, went home. But I had that feeling when I got home that I wanted to drink some more. I was happy being intoxicated, and I wanted more! This, of course, is the first sign of alcoholism.

So I finished off the bottle of wine I started a couple days ago. And I called Creepy Massage Guy. I don't think you've heard the backstory of CMG. To put it very shortly, we went bowling a few years ago, he bought two pitchers of beer and two games of bowling, he went back to my house where he gave me a massage and I fell asleep. I promptly kicked him out at 6A. The next day I got a four page email saying how I was such a bad person to not pay for any of the date and then to kick him out so early. I know. I pick 'em real good!

So anyway, I called CMG last night because I was drunk, feeling lonely, and let's face it, the guy is a massause. I wanted a free massage!

He comes over and I pretend that I'm much drunker than I am. I tell him that I want a massage and lie down on the floor. He tends to talk too much so I told him I was trying to concentrate and shut him up. And then I pulled a classic jerk move. I convinced him to do something to me so that he would think he would in turn get retribution from me. Sucker. Everyone knows Kiki isn't the giving type.

After my massage and my 'happy ending' I got up and told him it was getting late. He needed to leave. Just like that. I could see the hurt in his face. He had been played by me - twice. I showed him the door.

You know all those times a guy has treated you like shit and seems to have no remorse for his actions? Payback is a bitch.