Sista sLedge.r

To Ann Arbor! I don't know if the exclaimation point was warranted. Actually I'm sitting in his apartment right now while he's out playing frisbee golf in the rain. Baloo's parents came down last week and we helped move Baloo into his new apartment in Ann Arbor. He's a lot closer to work now. I was pretty sad about it at first, but I knew this was the best for him. In his 28 years of living this is the first time he's lived completely on his own. I think the best way to learn to live with other people (meaning me in the future) is to understand how to run a household on your own. So I'm glad he's doing this.

The first week wasn't that bad. Thank God I have school and work and working out to keep me occupied during the week. I didn't really miss Baloo because if I wasn't at school, I was either studying or at the gym. You can't believe how fit I am!

I did however hae to learn to hold my tongue. When I came to his house last night I walked in to find a huge flat screen LCD TV. I'm not sure how much those things cost, but I know they're expensive. My first thought was jealousy that I didn't get anything big and shiny. Oh, don't judge me. You all should know how vain I really am! My second thought was to how he plans to afford this TV. He's already said that he needed to figure out if he'd be saving money with the new increased rent. I let him know that I was disappointed but I was good in not making the subject World War III. I need to understand that he has the ability to spend his money however he pleases, and it's not my place to intervene. If down the line he's balancing paying off the TV and paying the heating bill, that's a choice that he has to make on his own. Besides, people need to go through these experiences in order to learn how to handle them.

So overall I've very proud of Baloo. I'm proud of him for finally branching out on his own. And I think the distance will be good for our relationship. Sure, it was so nice to have him as a next door neighbor boyfriend for almost two years, but it's nice missing him and being so excited to see him on the weekends. I think this distance will indeed make our hearts grow fonder. Eww. That was a gay way to end (Kipper, back me up). Who am I kidding? The sex is better when you haven't seen each other for a week. There, that's an ending that is much better fittted for Kiki!

Labels: baloo, changes

First off, Baloo has threatened to break up with me if I use the phrase Staycation in his presence. I totally understand where he's coming from (it is an awful word), but naturally, I have to say it as much as possible in his presence.

I guess I should start off by telling you a little about my Japan trip. It was AMAZING! There was so much that happened and so many adventures, I feel like I'm cheating you by not telling you all the details. Those of you who know me in real life can check out the pictures on Facebook. For those of you who don't know me, I'm sorry. It's just way to much to tell in a blog!

So instead, I will tell you about my Labor Day staycation.

Baloo and I and four other people went backpacking in the Porcupine Mountains in the Upper Peninsula. The original plan was to go to Pictured Rocks, but somehow those plans got changed sometime on Thursday night. Baloo and I drove up to his parents' friend's cabin and spent the night, then met up with the group and caravanned up to the spot. It was a little teed cause we started late, but held my tongue since they're Baloo's friends and I wanted to have a good time. And it was fun. A little more than I expected, but I pushed through. I wouldn't say it was the most fun in my life, but I'm the type of person who has to complete the task before me. So when Baloo informed me that we would cover 14 miles in three days with all I needed on my back, I thought that this was a challenge I could take on. Besides, Baloo's friend brought his new girl, Scandalous, and I had to show her up.

And I did. I made the entire trip. I only had one meltdown the last day when gnats were flying in my eyes. But for the most part I did well. I had to tell Baloo afterwards that that's not the best way to convince me to like camping. I told him in the future we should start out slow by taking day hikes or camping for one day only. Not taking a 14 mile treck up in the UP during a vacation where I'd much rather be laying out in my hammock. But we were able to bond and do something that he likes. Which made me happy. And then he took me out for ice cream on the way home.

So that was my staycation. Nothing too exciting. But it was nice to spend some time in the woods with my tree loving man.

Labels: baloo, vacation

Yesterday I was walking about when I was stopped by someone I knew. He told me of an upcoming lecture he was going to and lamented the he didn't like it when 'fat people' sat in front of him and blocked his view. I'm not sure what kind of reaction he was trying to garner from me, but I wanted to tell him, "Honey, you're not thin yourself, so you're not going to elicit any sympathy from me." Instead I just gave him an awkward look.

I walked further and I passed the bus stop. Two men were standing waiting for the bus. As I walked by I heard one of them say, "Well, it's real fortunate because they reduced it to a misdemeanor." What is it about people who ride the bus who have convictions?

Today I went to the library. As I was checking out I saw a man who appeared to be gay. When he got up to the counter he was explaining why he had overdue books. "Someone broke into my house when I was in jail and stole my library books." First of all, I don't imagine that gay people go to jail. The only ones I've encountered have been well behaved and bring up property values when they move in. Second, that was a pretty elaborate excuse for losing a library book.

And as I was leaving the library, a very pudgy little boy was complaining that he and his mom had to walk to wherever they were going. "You need to walk, kid, you're overweight as it is." His mom said. Now, I have no problem with giving your children low self esteem and telling them that they're fat. My problem was that the mom had no business calling ANYONE fat. At all.

So that's what I encounter on my daily walk. People with convictions and folks who complain about those who are overweight. And we wonder why people aren't flocking to Michigan!

Labels: random thoughts

I've written about Laura before here. If you really care about the details of why I don't like her, that explains it.

Last week Baloo asked if I wanted to go to a party at his friend's house in Detroit on Friday night. I agreed, and since we would be spending the night it would be perfect because I was getting my hair done the next morning in Detroit.

Baloo drove from Ann Arbor and met me half way at a carpool lot where I picked him up and drove the rest of the way to Detroit. The goal was to save gas and money. About 10 minutes after we left the carpool lot, Baloo says, "In the spirit of full disclosure, I wanted to tell you that Laura is going to be at the party."

I flipped. I mean I was pretty pissed. Without going into everything I said, it boiled down to this. First, I found it very convenient for Baloo to remember that Laura was going to be at the party when we were in the car when I asked him specifically before who was coming and for what occassion were his friends throwing a party. Turns out, the friends were throwing a small get together for Laura before she returns back to Denver next week. I guess that slipped Baloo's mind. Second, there have been several occassions when Laura comes back to town. Baloo has invited me to join him and his friends and I have always politely declines. Baloo knows very well how I feel about her as I've expressed it to him several times. When she's in town, Baloo goes to hang out and I do other things. Third, Baloo put me in an awkward and difficult position. We were 1/2 way to our destination and I was going to be forced to interact with a person I'd rather have no dealings with. Instead of providing me with the details before we left the house (I talked to him on the phone earlier that day and he still didn't mention that Laura would be there) he broadsided me with the information on the way to the destination.

To say the least I'm pissed. On the good advice of Tiffy, I remained cordial at the party. Fortunately there were people there who I had a nice time with. I made sure to tell Baloo before we left the car that I was going to have fun. I was going to laugh and have a good time. However, that did not mean in any uncertain terms that I was fucking pissed with him and we would continue this conversation when we got home.

I do have to say that I slipped up by the end of the night. I was really tired and the only people hanging out were me, Baloo, Laura, and our hosts. I was drunk and tired and couldn't stop giving Laura the stink eye. I never said a mean word to her, but I couldn't control myself from just giving her an awful look. She's one of those people who makes me physically want to react when I'm in the same surroundings are her. She's not an honorable person. She doesn't have honorable values, and I react negatively to that.

This morning I got up and got my hair done. I left Baloo at our host's house. He decided that he wanted to play frisbee golf with his friends (and Laura) rather than go home with me. So he can get a ride back to his car 20 miles from Detroit from his precious Laura or whatever other friend who's willing to waste the gas on him. As for me, I plan on watching a calming movie this afternoon and wait for him to come home. So I can ask him why he feels the need to not honor my feelings and take Laura's side. It should be an intersting conversation.

Labels: angry, baloo

Something tells me that I've written about this before, but I'm too lazy to look. I'm super excited about CNN's series on being black in America. Although I don't have cable, I plan on going to Baloo's house tonight and watching the second part. One thing that I've already seen is a video on black hair seen here: black hair.

Here's an article if you'd rather read than watch: black hair article

It's true that black women have a love hate relationship with our hair. But I think any woman does. I think that relationship is unique for black women because our hair has been used in some ways to tell a story about who we are. Baloo HATES that I get my hair straightened. I'm going this Saturday to get my hair did :-) and he constantly tells me not to. He says he wants to see my hair as it's intended to be. I talked to my hair dresser about this and she rolled her eyes. She told me how much more work it was to have you hair in its natural state than to get it chemically straightened every month. Now, she may not be an impartial judge seeing that getting a press and curl costs significantly less than a straightening. I've thought about letting my hair go natural. Sometimes I experiment by not blow drying my hair after I wash it. It turns into a HUGE mess of tangles and craziness. I look like a wild woman. In truth I really don't like the way my hair looks right after I go to the hair dresser. I usually like the look when the style is about three days old any my natural fullness comes back.

But the stigma related to hair is also self inflicted. Directly after slavery, hair (and light skin) could be your ticket for an ability to pass for white and have more opportunities afforded to you. I remember when I was growing up women looking at young babies to determine whether or not they had 'good' (or more straight) hair. I was definitely not one of those babies. And then I look at some people who have 'natural hair.' A lot of those women have the ability to wear their hair that way because they are mixed with other nationalities that make their curls more long and spirally. My hair does not spiral. It's nappy. And, believe it or not, there are some women with 'natural' hair that get hair added and extensions to make their spiral curls look that way. So, in all reality, in the black community, hair was an indication of your rank. Now, that's not positive at all and I think it's something that was looked at as being important to older generations. But I hope as those old thoughts of whites die out who thought blacks were inferior, I also hope the old thoughts of blacks die out too who saw hair as an indication of your worth.

I guess you can say white people look at hair in a similar manner. Be truthful. How many times have you looked at some kid with a mohawk and made an assumption about their character? How about the girl who dyes her hair pink? You don't know anything about them, but based upon the way they wear their hair you've probably made a snap judgment about them one way or another. Now, the difference is that hair was not designed to be pink, therefore pink hair is not acceptable in the workplace. But in the alternative, black hair was not meant to be straightened. Therefore, is straight hair too not appropriate in the workplace? Would you argue that an afro on a black woman should be more accepted than a chemical process that makes it straight?

And can I tell you a secret? I'm a little frightened about what people may think of me because of my hair. I'd go back to wearing braids in a heartbeat because I really liked the look. However, it does provided added stress to the hair. But i often wonder what would happen if I went to a complete natural afro look. Would I not be as valued in the workplace? Would people label me as combative and aggressive (and not in the go-getter way but in the angry black female way)? Would people see my objections to ideas as not going along with the status quo? I'd like to think that I have a gentle enough demeanor that people would judge me by my actions, but I'm a pretty girl. I know that people are judged by their looks as well. I'd never admit it to Baloo, but I'm secretly scared that if I go to a natural look, I'd be viewed negatively. Plus, I like the ease that comes with my straightened hair. I don't see myself as trying to 'look white' but instead as being too lazy to wear my hair any other way.

What do others think? I know there are some white women who read here. I'm sure you've had similar experiences with a love/hate relationship with your hair. Do you have opinions on what you think about black hair? Discuss!

Labels: musings, race

So Baloo has this friend. Let's call him Marshall. Marshall has a new girlfriend. Let's call her Scandalous (cause that's what we call her). I first met Scandalous when she was with her boyfriend Charles. When Scandalous started hanging out with Baloo's group of friends, she took a liking to Marshall even when she was still dating Charles. She went as far as going on a camping trip with the group and sharing a tent with Marshall...even though she was still dating Charles. I have no idea what kind of lie she spun to go on a weekend camping trip.

Anyway, now that Scandalous has dumped Charles, she's dating Marshall. No one is very happy about this. And apparently Baloo had a talk with Marshall and told him it's not cool. But now that they're dating, I'm going to see much more of Scandalous. I'll probably do my best to exclude her and make her feel bad because that's in my nature. Baloo wants me to be nice to her since she's dating a member of the group. Whatever. She's not a very honorable person, and I don't know who thinks she won't cheat on Marshall just like she cheated on Charles.

I'm throwing a bbq on Sunday (cause Baloo's friends are gonna help me move my new, free piano) and I think she's coming. I need some evil but sneaky things to do to her. All comments are welcome!

Labels: baloo

Let me preface this by letting you know that I'm drunk. Yes, I realize that it's 3P on a Saturday afternoon, but damnit I work hard during the week and deserve to be drunk in the middle of the day when I should instead be cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry.

I'm an avid fan of Hulu and I was watching an episode of Benson, a show that I LOVED as a child. I will now post some themes from some of my favorite shows of the 80s. You know, when everyone was skinny, hair was feathered, Reagan was king, we weren't in a recession, and families loved each other. On television. With big hair and vibrant clothing. Ok. I'll shut up now. Let me know which of these shows you loved as much as I did!


Family Ties


My Two Dads


Small Wonder


Punky Brewster (I always thought she was pulling the puppy up by his neck!)


Benson


Head of the Class


Standing TAAALLL....On the Wings of my Dreams!


Ok, this theme was just cool!


227...Did anyone else watch this?


Black people made the best caretakers in the 80s!

Labels: random, tv