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Friday, June 23, 2006 

It Is Quiet in Kiki-Land

Sorry Dear Reader (as I have only one!). It has been quiet in Kiki-Land. I thought about that today. Not much is going on. I'm going to Detroit tomorrow to get my hair done. Then I'm hitting up Festival of the Sun in Lansing. I'm hoping to run into the intellectual crowd. They drink wine, right?

Since I don't have a new story to tell, I'm going to tell an old one. This is taken from August 10, 2004.

I had my last meeting in Lansing with the (company I work for currently) to determine my duties and start date. Problem was, the Senior partner was in Detroit! So I called him and told him I have to meet with him today seeing that I took time off from work. He tells me to call him at 2:30 and we'll meet somewhere between Detroit and Lanisng. It's 10:00 a.m. So, I have time to kill. Who do I call...Honest Abe.

Background: Honest Abe lives in the boonies outside Lansing. We went out once. He came to Detroit and we saw the movie 'Troy.' Since then he calls occasionally, but I usually don't answer. He raises deer. He's obsessed with deer. He lives in a log cabin he built with his own hands. In fact, he builds log cabins, lives in them till he can sell them, and then moves and builds another cabin. And since he lives in the boonies and has no neighbors, he's a little weird.

So, I call Honest Abe and told him I wanted to hang out till 2:30. He meets me at the Bob Evans in town (yeah, he actually calls it 'in town') and I follow him the 9 miles to his house. His house is off a dirt road. No lie. And when I walk on the porch, I see that he has a National Rifle Associatoin sticker on the window of his front door. It was at that point I knew he was going to kill me and feed me to his deer. I walk in the front door and the house is SPECTACULAR! It's not your Abe Lincoln Cabin. It's huge! It has its ouwn 2 bedroom apartment with stove and fridge downstairs, there's a guest house, and the house is just amazing and big. There's about 12 deer heads mounted on the walls, stray antelers everywhere....and GUNS! There was a rifle proped against the side of the doorpost, there was a loaded gun case, and when I was given a tour of the house, there was a loaded revolver by the bed.

So, Honest Abe and I sit on the couch and talk, and I tell him that I'm really sleepy (I hadn't gotten much sleep since Denver) and I really just wanted to crash. So, he made me a lil spot on teh couch an I went to sleep. Well, I didn't sleep well at first cause I was waiting to hear a gun cock before he shot me. But I slept and he went out in the woods and did something...and I woke up at 2:30 and left. Well, before I left he told me he was really glad to see me. I told him I'd call. He doubted that. But I was serious. I will call him. Hell, I'm movignto Lansing at the end of the month and I need someone with a truck and muscle to move my shit. I will be calling him.

The End.

Yeah. I was pretty stupid and crazy back in the day. Falling asleep in a strange house filled with loaded guns. I wonder everyday why I'm still alive.

i'd like to point out that it was me (i think...) who came up with the excellent name of honest abe. it's one of my better accomplishments in life...

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About me

  • I'm young, single, got a great ass, a serial dater, a sometimes drunk, addicted to the gym, liable to make fat girls cry, have a mild ED, think Notre Dame is the greatest college and Texas is the greatest state. Currently at a standstill since moving from Detroit Area, Michigan (tons of yuppies) to Mason, MI (noted KKK presence). Come be a part of my random, shocking, and exciting world.
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